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AIBU?

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Original poster

"I vote for who my husband tells me to"

297 replies

Applescruffel · 04/07/2024 13:59

A few years ago, a family member shocked me by saying, yeah, I do vote but I don't know anything about it so I just vote for whoever DH says.

My jaw dropped. Honestly, WTAF?

I advised her to go on isidewith and answer the questions, see what it comes back with. I asked her a few days later if she had, and she said yes, it came back with X party. BUT THEN SHE SAID "but DH wants XX party so I'm going with them" Jaw hit the floor.

Anyway, I'm wondering how common it is. Have any of you ever voted for someone someone else told you to?

yabu - yes, I've voted as per someone else's instructions
yanbu - no, I've always voted according to what I want.

OP posts:
GingerPirate · 04/07/2024 15:18

Wow, so much "mess in the henhouse" caused by me sharing my husband's choice! 😂
He was hardly "influenced" by me, as he's obviously able to make his own decisions!
Let's say he was gently nudged the right way.
Hope many will follow.

behindthemall · 04/07/2024 15:19

My DH votes how I vote, I give him the choice but he always asks me to fill his postal vote in the same as mine then he signs it and we post them.

I care that he votes, but not who for - and he is mostly indifferent

Blackcountryexile · 04/07/2024 15:21

I know an intelligent and independent woman who always voted a certain way because all her family followed her father. Now her DS is old enough she votes the way he does.

Hadjab · 04/07/2024 15:22

GingerPirate · 04/07/2024 14:11

My DH, (75yo) voted for the first time for Reform, as a lifetime Conservative voter.
I cannot vote in GE (not a British citizen) so
"I told him" to vote this way and he was happy.
So was I.
😁

Eyeroll Ugh GIF

Mmmm!

tuvamoodyson · 04/07/2024 15:22

CoastalSunsets · 04/07/2024 14:16

Shocking that (some) women let their husband rule them! Even in 2024

Again, isn't it more shocking that these men are acting like this?

And some women too!!

LoveLifeBeHappy · 04/07/2024 15:23

Applescruffel · 04/07/2024 13:59

A few years ago, a family member shocked me by saying, yeah, I do vote but I don't know anything about it so I just vote for whoever DH says.

My jaw dropped. Honestly, WTAF?

I advised her to go on isidewith and answer the questions, see what it comes back with. I asked her a few days later if she had, and she said yes, it came back with X party. BUT THEN SHE SAID "but DH wants XX party so I'm going with them" Jaw hit the floor.

Anyway, I'm wondering how common it is. Have any of you ever voted for someone someone else told you to?

yabu - yes, I've voted as per someone else's instructions
yanbu - no, I've always voted according to what I want.

I do vote but I don't know anything about it so I just vote for whoever DH says

This is me, but the other way around.

Tandora · 04/07/2024 15:24

Omg this was literally one of the reasons given for arguing against giving the women the vote. That they would just vote for who their husbands told them to 🤦🏼‍♀️

BonifaceBonanza · 04/07/2024 15:25

CoastalSunsets · 04/07/2024 14:16

Shocking that (some) women let their husband rule them! Even in 2024

Again, isn't it more shocking that these men are acting like this?

No. Who says the men are acting like anything?
Wifey acting all ditsy asks husband who to vote for as her poor brain cells can’t cope. He tells her. In this scenario it’s absolutely not his fault.

tuvamoodyson · 04/07/2024 15:26

muddyford · 04/07/2024 14:44

It's the opposite in our house. All the material is addressed to me.

Show quote history

Ours is always addressed ‘To the householder’ That’s been from all parties.

LoveLifeBeHappy · 04/07/2024 15:27

I do vote but I don't know anything about it so I just vote for whoever DH says

This is me, but the other way around.

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/07/2024 15:27

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 04/07/2024 14:09

I’ve worked in care for years (dementia and adults with learning disabilities) - the people I looked after get a postal vote, which a family member fills in.

So basically the family member gets two votes.

It’s wildly unfair.

When my mum had dementia she had a vote but my dad refused to take advantage of this. He knew what her choice would have been as they used to fill election envelopes together.

GingerPirate · 04/07/2024 15:27

behindthemall · 04/07/2024 15:19

My DH votes how I vote, I give him the choice but he always asks me to fill his postal vote in the same as mine then he signs it and we post them.

I care that he votes, but not who for - and he is mostly indifferent

Ha!

NinetyPercent · 04/07/2024 15:29

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 04/07/2024 14:10

Yep I have known a few women like this, sadly. Though they have all been women born pre 1960s. I am early 1970s born - so not much younger, but like fluff would my DH tell me how to vote! Shock

I don't even tell him! He tells me but I don't tell him. I don't tell anyone. It's called a Secret Ballot for a reason!

Shocking that (some) women let their husband rule them! Even in 2024!

I am a feisty and independent free spirit, and my DH knows better than to try to tell me what to do! This is one of the things that attracted him to me. My fieriness and independent spirit...

I am also willing to bet these bossy men who TELL their women how to vote, do NOT vote Green, Liberal Democrats, or Labour. Defo UKIP, Reform, or Tory!

Also, how can they enforce what their wife does? You go into the little cubicle on your own, and it's kind of cordoned off. How are these controlling husbands ensuring their wife votes how they tell her to?

Edited

I wouldn’t bet on it @LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway

plenty of sexists vote Labour
plus this www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/jun/14/you-be-the-judge-should-i-have-to-tell-my-husband-who-im-voting-for-in-the-general-election

Mooda · 04/07/2024 15:29

I basically told my DS18 to vote Labour. In my defence I spent a long time trying to persuade him to educate himself and vote as he saw fit and he refused - said he didn't know enough to decide. So in the end I said well can you just vote Labour because this could be the first time in my lifetime we get a Labour MP in our area so do it for me! Is that worse than not voting? I'm not sure.

Marmiteontoastgirlie · 04/07/2024 15:30

That’s horrific but also it’s kind of nice to see how much society has changed that the majority of women find that horrific!

godmum56 · 04/07/2024 15:31

TheCultureHusks · 04/07/2024 14:09

Yes I knew a woman like this.

She tried to talk to him sensibly but he wasn’t having it.

There was only one option- she went with laburnum, easy to disguise but unfortunately a little bit of an uncomfortable death. A real pity but ahh what can you do?

The roses in that part of the back garden are doing amazingly though so that’s good.

Yes, I do wish that some of my posts were true.

Show quote history

this one wins the internet today

gano · 04/07/2024 15:32

My colleague does this, but she has the IQ of a fence post.

MotherFeministWoman · 04/07/2024 15:32

stealthsquirrelnutkin · 04/07/2024 14:53

When the Swiss held a referendum in 1971 where the men got to decide if women should be allowed to vote, one of the arguments against the proposition was that it would unfairly give married men 2 votes. Plenty of people nodded sagely and agreed.

Edited

Women didn't get the vote in Switzerland until 1971?

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 04/07/2024 15:33

When people mention votes for different parties cancelling each other out - how does this work when there are more than
two parties to vote for ?

Say I vote Labour and my husband voted LibDem in an area where we have previously had a Conservative majority- how can we be cancelling each other out ? Doesn't make sense .

CocoM66 · 04/07/2024 15:33

Eh, you're horrified she lets her husband choose but are happy for a website to do it?

Phoebefail · 04/07/2024 15:34

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 04/07/2024 14:06

Gosh. That's a problem with postal votes I hadn't really thought about. One in every four or five votes cast now is a postal vote. Hmm.

Show quote history

This is a problem in communities where they follow 'traditional' customs. The Father votes for all the family. Mum Dad 3 kids voting age. . . .
In Tower hamlets there was an Election for Mayor, this was one of the problems and the winner was disqualified.
I lived there at the time.

meatyryvita · 04/07/2024 15:34

cupcaske123 · 04/07/2024 15:15

She's is. She got her husband to vote Reform because of small boats. I saw her on another thread.

Show quote history

Ah I'm guessing she's an 'expat' and wants Reform in because she doesn't like 'immigrants'. Honestly, it's like the turkeys voting for Christmas.

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/07/2024 15:37

GingerPirate · 04/07/2024 14:11

My DH, (75yo) voted for the first time for Reform, as a lifetime Conservative voter.
I cannot vote in GE (not a British citizen) so
"I told him" to vote this way and he was happy.
So was I.
😁

Disgusting

CaveMum · 04/07/2024 15:38

My mother (69) refuses to vote at all, hasn't done so since probably the 1987 GE - the only authority she believes in is God's 🙄

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 04/07/2024 15:40

MotherFeministWoman · 04/07/2024 15:32

Women didn't get the vote in Switzerland until 1971?

Show quote history

Nope. Even then one canton held out against it until 1990. Extraordinary.

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