"I vote for who my husband tells me to"

[Applescruffel]

A few years ago, a family member shocked me by saying, yeah, I do vote but I don't know anything about it so I just vote for whoever DH says.

My jaw dropped. Honestly, WTAF?

I advised her to go on isidewith and answer the questions, see what it comes back with. I asked her a few days later if she had, and she said yes, it came back with X party. BUT THEN SHE SAID "but DH wants XX party so I'm going with them" Jaw hit the floor.

Anyway, I'm wondering how common it is. Have any of you ever voted for someone someone else told you to?

yabu - yes, I've voted as per someone else's instructions
yanbu - no, I've always voted according to what I want.

I used to work with adults with learning difficulties ( perfectly capable of being told facts and making decisions though) and so many parents/ carers had told them they couldn't vote. I don't know how many genuinely thought that, or whether people were using proxy/postal votes to vote in their behalf.

@Applescruffel my hubby, a few years ago, overheard a women saying that she didnt know who to vote for but everybody she knew was voting for this party so she guessed she would just vote for them too!! turned out to be the worst party ever for scotland! honestly, some people should not be allowed to vote!!!

i know someone who does this in fact its worse she not voting this time beause her husband says theyre all liars

And illegal. https://crimestoppers-uk.org/news-campaigns/campaigns/your-vote-is-yours-alone

”It’s illegal for anyone, even a partner, family member or friend, to influence you to vote against your will.”

My grandad had dementia and his wife told him who to vote for. I can’t believe this was allowed.

I vote the same party as my husband.
To vote opposite to each other we may swell not bother walking to the polling station.
We do however discuss at length, watch the political broadcasts together and make a decision between us.
I wouldn't say either has more influence over the other, if we were adamantly opposed to each others vote I don't think either of us could win out.
It saddens me to think women died so we could vote and women today don't stand with that ballot paper proudly in their hand and make their decision. It's a travesty to have no political opinion as an adult, it's definitely not something I would openly admit to.

My exDH used to ask me who to vote for. He had zero clue about politics and no interest.

I'm torn...I see what you're getting at but then...I have higher standards for women in general than I do for men so....either statement could be acceptable!

It is a criminal offence, yes, but for obvious reasons it's quite a difficult offence to investigate and prosecute.

I've been a poll clerk for many years and we have to make sure that people are entering the booths on their own - we've always had a nightmare trying to stop men pointing over their wives shoulders at who they should vote for - one year I remember the Presiding Officer having to have a right barney with a man who was saying it was his wife 'and he would tell her who to vote for'.

Can’t say I’m too shocked.
I’ve seen some comments like that on MN.
And the number of women (even on the feminist board) says ”my husband agrees / thinks so too etc. as a back up, can’t say I’m that suprised.

My mum has dementia and her neighbour, a raving Tory, asked her to vote for the local Tory MP three times and again afterwards. I'm very annoyed.

Don’t know why you’re so happy, it’s actually illegal to influence someone else’s vote in the UK and goes against the whole concept of democracy.

Surely you raise safeguards when you hear this?

In this house it's the other way around. I've told DH who to vote for. Well, not quite so overtly, but I'm the one who looked up the candidates, found some info on where they stand on a couple of key issues that matter to us, and told him, which has made up his mind.

It is shocking, but it’s an attitude reinforced by the Conservatives, at least. All campaigning material from our local MP has always been addressed to my husband alone - despite my being on the electoral roll, and having written to the MP personally. Some wildly outdated and misogynistic idea about the head of the household I imagine. Par for the course.

We all do our own research, but have had some lively conversations. As of this morning, indiations are that the three of us will be voting for three separate and different parties. Fine with me - it's a personal decision.

I have been worried all day that I accidentally told DH who to vote for. He originally thought he would not be able to vote. But he had met one of our local candidates who is genuinely great, but she's an independent and our constituency is a very very tight race so it's pointless voting for her IMO. Which I had said to him at the time.

Then, when he realised he COULD vote (only yesterday as it hadn't even occurred to me he couldn't vote so when our cards arrived together, I stuck them both on the fridge and of course, he just assumed it was mine only), he said maybe he'd vote for her and I said again that I think its a wasted vote.

He agrees so is voting the same as me. But I don't know, I just get this sense that he felt because he hadn't really been paying enough attention he was going to just trust me and I don't feel comfortable with that, especially as at one point he said something about how of the three main parties, he thinks he's instinctively more LibDem but I have don't like the libdems myself and said that.

I'd far rather he'd actually voted for the independent at this point.

But at least I didn't MEAN to tell him who to vote for. And I do know that if he'd realised he could vote earlier, he 100% would have voted based on his own decision-making.

Same! Though he does ask for justification to be fair.

He's become a bit more sceptical recently- I used to be a Lib Dem voter (and still do vote Lib Dem for local elections generally) but have voted Labour the last few times for tactical reasons and then because our Labour MP is excellent.

I'd say DH is probably very slightly to the right of centre and I'm slightly to the left so he's not sure about voting Labour, but he does agree that the current Tory party have had numerous chances but keep messing up so Labour are currently a better fit.

This post is very contradictory.. you will only vote the same way as your husband but you also are sad that women today don’t make their own decision???

I have voted a different way to my husband, because I make my own mind up. It’s not a waste of a trip to the polling station, I do it because like you say women died to give us the right to vote and so I will always vote regardless of how any one else votes.

Which is exactly the reason that postal votes are open to extreme abuse in certain communities, what's been said in this thread is the norm for many areas and it's not just wives, it's all female voters in many families.

Good grief. I've never voted the same as my husband and he knows it. I'm more left-wing than he is, which is apparently a common thing (women more left-wing than men, that is). My husband respects me, so has never sought to influence the way I vote, which is how it should be IMO. However, too many people claim neither to know anything about politics, nor care enough to find out. They live in their own little bubble.

Sure this is abuse and control. Wonder what else she isn't allowed to do.

Triffid1, why did your husband think he wouldn't be able to vote?

I hope her husband told her to vote for the women's equality party :-)