"I vote for who my husband tells me to"

[Applescruffel]

A few years ago, a family member shocked me by saying, yeah, I do vote but I don't know anything about it so I just vote for whoever DH says.

My jaw dropped. Honestly, WTAF?

I advised her to go on isidewith and answer the questions, see what it comes back with. I asked her a few days later if she had, and she said yes, it came back with X party. BUT THEN SHE SAID "but DH wants XX party so I'm going with them" Jaw hit the floor.

Anyway, I'm wondering how common it is. Have any of you ever voted for someone someone else told you to?

yabu - yes, I've voted as per someone else's instructions
yanbu - no, I've always voted according to what I want.

DH asks me who he should vote for. We have broadly the same political views but I follow local politics far more closely than he does and usually have to vote tactically so I look at the local polling info and historical results and let him know. Often in the May elections we have three ballot papers and vote for different parties on each one depending on what's happening locally so give him a run down of who to vote for.

My friend always votes for who her parents told her to..
Now they have passed away she still votes for same party.. l asked why... what are they doing for you personally.. what do you like about them etc..
She just shrugged and said " l don't know.. l don't follow politics..but my parents always voted for them.. so l do.."

I've often told this story so this will out me, but one time there was an election when I was at primary school we did a mock election at school and a teacher asked us how our parents would vote.

I said Tory and Labour.

Kids around me ask how with uncomprehending faces.

Well, my dad will vote Tory and my mum will vote Labour.

Shocked looks. You mean, my mum won't vote the same way as my dad?

It's amazing it's still a thing. And it's also why I don't think postal votes should be easy to get. Too easy for the man of the house to fill them all in!

Rory Stewart said that his sister, who has Downs Syndrome, once called from the voting booth "Mummy-who do I vote for?"

We've been together 28 years and this is the first time DH and I have ever voted for the same party. Very lucky we've got the type of relationship that if he tried to get me to do something I didn't want, I'd just say I'm not and why and he'd respect it.

It's the opposite in our house. All the material is addressed to me.

I should say I once voted Plaid Cymru in European elections because a guy I liked suggested I should ;)

I am not Welsh.

Apparently when my mum said she was voting Labour my father told her she WOULD vote the way he told her to, and he could find out how she voted because it wasn't really a secret ballot because they put your voting number on the ballot paper.

Did she?

I've never thought of this but now that I have, I'm wondering if postal voting should even be allowed at all.

I'd do this... I'm a man and couldn't give a toss about politics. They're all criminals, I don't think my 'one' vote matters, and there are no good or 'better' options... so if my wife was passionate and dragged me to the polling booth, I'd vote for whatever she fancied.

Otherwise I'd either be spoiling my ballot, or ignoring it completely.

I'd be appalled if my DH 'asked me who vote for' ... surely people have a brain and can do their own research and make their own decision. I would find it hard to have any respect for anyone who didn't... and I don't mean I expect people to vote the same way as I do ..l but at the very least accept the responsibility of voting as a citizen of this country..

Mother - thank you for what you do ... I took my very elderly & frail DM to vote today, she needs a lot of physical support and the polling officer kindly accompanied her to the polling booth so that she could vote independently... obviously I wouldn't have tried to influence her but I assume some carers do.

Today there was a guy outside our polling station stopping some people and asking them something. I asked him if he wanted my name etc and he ignored me.

When I came out I noticed he asked two men and no women.

This lunchtime, I went back with DH who went to vote and I sat outside and waited for him. The guy asked him and two other men, but not the women passing him.

DH said he wanted to know who'd voted so they knew not to knock on peoples' doors to ask them to vote. Apparently, womens' votes don't count.

(and the guy had a Libdem rosette on)

Sadly I suspect this is common. There are a lot of dim and / or apathetic people out there.

I think it should only be for the housebound. It would not completely solve the problem and would allow abuse by carers but better than allowing them wholesale.

To be perfectly honest I do usually vote for who my DH wants. I know it’s bad, but it’s because he’s so educated about politics and I’m not. It’s my issue and I should educate myself more, I know that. We tend to agree on most things so I trust his judgment. He does not expect me to vote the same as him and if I disagreed with him on something I wouldn’t. But when I ask him who he’s voting for and why I do tend to agree with his reasoning.

Lots of polling stations don't have the equipment to enable blind people to vote independently. So most blind voters have to rely on someone else, which is obviously massively open to exploitation.
I don't think postal votes should be discontinued, because they're essential for housebound people, but should perhaps have more checks somehow

When the Swiss held a referendum in 1971 where the men got to decide if women should be allowed to vote, one of the arguments against the proposition was that it would unfairly give married men 2 votes. Plenty of people nodded sagely and agreed.

Complicated status as a foreigner who has moved here. Previously couldn't but his status has changed and possibly the rules have too but he just didn't clock it impacted his ability to vote. He's always been able to vote in local elections hence being on electoral role.

Pretty sure that’s illegal

It's a difficult one. I also think they should only be given for a reason, but then how many people just won't vote at all, and how many people will just vote as they are told anyway? I have a postal vote because I'm usually a poll clerk and can't just vote before my shift starts. I'm also on holiday now so have already voted.

I vote labour, DP also votes labour BUT I always have and he always have, and when we met, his political leanings being similar to mine (and so him caring about the same things) was very, very important to me

This used to be an argument against women’s suffrage - they’ll vote like their menfolk so why bother letting them vote at all?

I don’t think women died so you could only vote exactly the same as your husband, what you’ve described isn’t having made your own decision at all, how odd.

Exactly! You’re so right, it was used as a reason not to bother giving women a vote because they’d only duplicate their husbands vote, shocking that some people seem to do that anyway 🤦‍♀️