Partner didn't drive me to my C-section appointment

[LoopyDays]

He decided he would go to work on the day of my C-section, and decided it would be okay for me to get on 2 buses to go to the hospital with my heavy suitcase, even though I'm walking gingerly at 39 weeks pregnant. He said he'd meet me there once the action starts, (but not a second before, what with the epidural injection, the prep and checks, he doesnt want to see all that) so no emotional support, nor help, not even help with packing from the day/night before. Instead he was hanging out with friends last night til 12midnight.
I decided last minute to get an Uber, £17 to the hospital, and I've taken a screenshot of the fare so he can pay it. I don't see why he couldn't give me a lift instead, and then come back with public transport himself. Am I being unreasonable?

It's not a competition 🙄

Wow!! I thought from your title you meant the appointment where you find out the c section date or the pre-op. Which I attended all on my own as I didnt need DH there. But you actually mean the day of giving birth to his baby! Words generally fail me.

Ive had 3 c setions, 2 of which were planned. My DH didnt come with me to the pre-op or any midwife appointments as I didnt invite him as Im quite capable of driving myself there and back. He came to all the scans, as he wanted to see his baby, and obviously took me to hospital when I was having them.

It wouldnt have even been a question of me taking myself there as he wanted to be with me to make sure I was ok and wanted to be there for his baby.

I wouldnt be planning a future with your partner. Hes shown you who he is - believe him

I don't think this man was ready to be a Husband and Father. Chuck him out.

This makes me so sad for you. I’m sorry 💐❤️

I hope the c-section went well and that you're now holding your baby in your arms. I agree with a lot of the other posts, but I think the next few days are probably crucial. My DH went home and to renew our library books while I was in labour. The labour ward staff were a bit sceptical about whether I was actually in labour (I was 37 weeks) and he later regretted being a bit of a dick. He got back 2hrs later and I was in the delivery room in second stage. He'd been supportive throughout the pregnancy though and was amazing in the postpartum period. He just didn't appreciate the significance of him being there in the early stages of what turned out to be a quick labour.

Maybe your partner doesn't realise the significance of his absence, but if he's not sorry, hasn't been a support through pregnancy and doesn't get his act together and put you and the baby first over the next few days you're going to be a de facto single parent whether you stay with him or not. It's often easier just to get on with it on your own with support from family or friends than in the company of a so-called partner whose selfishness and uselessness you'll come to resent.

There's always bloody one!

@LoopyDays what has happened in your life that you have to question such poor treatment of you, from someone who is supposed to love you?

I hope you can find a way to building a life for you and your baby, without this loser in it. You’ll be so much happier.

Why the hell have you had a baby to this idiot 🙈

Give your head a gentle wobble OP.

It doesn't bode well for the future if your 'partner' cannot be arsed to help you at one of your most vulnerable times. Your 'partner' should want to be there for you and his baby; it should be a natural instinct.

Both you and your baby deserve far better then this; and I think you know that already.

The only 'action' he deserves to see is you pointing at the exit and the door hitting him on the way out.

Wow OP he seems like he genuinely gives zero fucks about you, good luck raising a child with him!

Ive had two c-sections, DH came with me to hospital for both and was there all day until the time for partners to leave at night, then back the next morning as soon as he could.

Let's not blame a woman for a man's terrible behaviour, eh?

Hope all has gone smoothly OP and you're cuddling your gorgeous little babby. I think the two of you are going to make an amazing team, and you don't need that POS who chose not to support you at your most vulnerable.

Good luck today. Xx

This is absolutely disgraceful and that’s all I’ll say on that. Ditch his arse your better of on your own, a friend wouldn’t even do that let alone a partner and presumably father to your child? That’s absolutely awful

This. It will be so much easier.

He is no partner.

I would be considering single parenting because someone this selfish is only going to get worse once a baby comes along.

He needs to do more than pay for your Uber, he needs to step up and support his wife who is going to have a major operation and birth a baby into the world. Want a selfish dick.

If this is normal behaviour, get rid now before you get sucked back in. No normal husband and father would treat their wife this way, it’s disgusting behaviour.

Just when you think you have read everything, here comes another new low.
If his mate was buying a new fucking car, I bet he’d be chomping at the bit to drop him there.

How are you asking if this is unreasonable?!?!

I got the bus with my first and got a cab with my second only had a back pack with me.
Sister brang my car seat up the next morning.
And I got a cab home the following afternoon.
Got home back to normal living.

What an absolute w#nker. Normally I can see both sides. But this is diabolical. Sorry this is your situation :(

Well I wouldn’t be contacting him once the action started. No way would I have him there.

The transport isn't the issue! Why are people picking this out of the OP's post??!!

Good for you, Did you want a medal?

@LoopyDays jesus h christ!! do not let him know "when the action starts"!!!! have the baby, recover, then go to your parents house!! neither you nor your baby will ever be important in that wankers life!!!

I am so disgusted by so many men nowadays. I cannot even begin to understand how your DP thought that behaviour was acceptable.