To think it's cruel to take a 9 month old baby abroad

[Cherryblossom90]

Recently been on three week holiday abroad with DH and 9 month old baby to see our extended family.

Baby was fine in terms of sleep, eating etc but due to hot weather abroad she was stuck in doors with me/DH/other family member for most of the day. She seemed just gentally miserable not her Usual self at all (more quiet and clingy, mainly) she's been back to usual self since being back. I really regret going actually even though the adults had a nice time I feel it was a bit selfish and I feel we shouldn't have gone.

Just curious how others justify taking a baby abroad on a long plane journey, to a hot country when it's so unpleasant for the baby?

Am I being unreasonable to think it's cruel to take a baby abroad?

I took a three month old and 4 year old twins. We all survived.

I mean, if you have staff I can see how you can avoid taking babies shopping but otherwise it’s pretty much impossible. As for waking along a dual carriageway, it probably isn’t a choice. I expect they live nearby and that could be the best route from A to B. And it really isn’t cruel to take children to different climates. How on earth are they supposed to adapt if they never experience anything different?

I’m beginning to understand why so many kids struggle with resilience when they are sheltered from basic, day to day life.

The family abroad are they yours or DH's? Make sure that whatever you decide about future travel you can hand on heart say you would make the same decision for either one of your families. If you're waiting to be able to reason with a child you'll be waiting a very, very long time.

But it's not particularly unpleasant for the baby. Ok, I would pick a holiday location that made life easier for me (good public transport that's easy to get onto with a pram, easy to find baby items I need to buy from a supermarket, clean drinking water, easy to get quality healthcare if necessary etc), but I wouldn't stop travelling just because I had a baby. I took mine overseas every year from 6 months onwards (excluding covid, when travel was banned).

You haven't said where you went and what the temperature was, so it's hard to say, but perhaps you've just been unlucky. Many places (although I appreciate not all) will be cool in the early morning, get hotter as the day goes on and cool down a bit in the evening. Unless it was 40 degrees 24/7, there was no reason to stay inside all day every day. And if you found this particular location too hot, just choose another next time, rather than not holiday at all for several years.

How do you think babies that are born in that country feel? Millions of babies are born in hot climates. Your baby will cope for 2 weeks.

What about people who live in hot countries, and bring their babies to the UK for a holiday? Is that cruel too?

Is it cruel to force a baby to endure seasons as well? How about heatwaves? Snow? Should we all just dob ourselves in to social services?

People saying babies live in hot countries are missing the point. These babies are born there and are used to the temperatures and climates, babies born in cold climate aren't used to it!

Babies like routine so taking a young baby away on holiday isn't cruel, but it's isn't really a good idea as the baby won't benefit or remember the holiday.

Took mine away at 4 months too, she had a ball! Was a really easy holiday. Will be going away when shes 18 months and got a feeling it’ll be much harder in terms of her being mobile.

I think you didn’t realise how much the total change in situation would affect your baby. Hmm bit like starting a new job without warning and without knowing what it’s going to involve. A bit challenging! So much to process! So many new people! So she was just needing a bit more support and reassurance. But it doesn’t mean it was wrong to take her.

It’s no wonder so many women get PND when there is this bizarre narrative that life has to stop and that they have to stay home not even able to take their baby to a shopping centre.

I think you’re over-thinking this a bit. It’s not like you took her to the outback and left her outside for 3 weeks!
Baby fits in with you (within reason). You saw your family which was good for you and they got to see baby. Don’t beat yourself up or have guilt.

Nonsense. Of course it isn't cruel to take a baby on holiday to a hot country. Hard work maybe, but babies are hard work at that age anyway.

People who live in hot countries have babies too.

Was your post a joke? We took all our DC abroad well before their first birthday and they were ok. Happy even! Lots of new and interesting things to see. Obviously you take normal commonsense precautions to protect them ie sunscreen, appropriate clothing etc.

I've had the experience of being on holiday in a heatwave, just in England (a "holiday" to benefit a family member). Such a relief to get back to air con at home. But it's over now, it's not worth worrying about is it?

We went half way around the world in the first year to visit family, baby had a great time and loved it, they were super happy the whole time

Took youngest away when she was 6 months old to a fairly hot destination and she was perfectly happy napping on a sun lounger in the shade and splashing in the pool.

Took both her and her sister long haul from about 18 months - again, both totally fine and happy.

if anything the eldest is far grumpier and moanier on holiday about the heat now she’s a teen!

I don't think it's cruel, but I do often wonder why parents bother to go through the hassle of travel etc just to stay somewhere where they will really have to accommodate the child's needs.

We never took ours away until about age 6 as we thought it would be more hassle than holiday. DS has SEN which may have coloured our judgement, but I don't think so.

I really admire couples who travel the world with a baby and knapsack - but it wasn't for us. We honeymooned in Barbados and there was a couple there with a baby, and they said they could barely leave the hotel because of the heat and the baby's needs. They stayed by the pool for a week and took it in turns to mind the baby - but that doesn't feel to me like value for money, and the child won't remember anything.

But each to their own.....

We didn't go far when DD1 was very small, did have a little trip to France (not far for us). Went away with inlaws when DD2 was a few months old and all had a lovely time. It was much easier just having extra pairs of hands and eyes - felt much easier than going away by ourselves just with DD1 had. Though have to say even with just DD1 it felt much more laid back and welcoming in France with a baby than in the UK. Nowhere in the rest of Europe have I ever felt unwelcome with small children, even in quite a smart restaurant in Spain. Yet in our local village pub, I've had people tutting and grumbling as we came and sat down when DDs were little.

We forgot about how you couldn’t take children into pubs in our hometown, even the Bernie Inn was strictly over 18s only
Having lived in the South for a couple of decades and spent our weekends walking the dog and going to the pub with dc. We returned to our hometown and wandered into the local pub with dd and thought we might get a coffee

I swear the landlord nearly had a heart attack as we came in and sat down with dd. He screamed blue murder at us. Told us we were lying when we said children were allowed in pubs everywhere else we had been
I have to say if dh had plans for us to move back to the area he knew it wasn’t going to happen after that reception
I think that was the last time I returned to my hometown. Just confirmed to me I made the right decision to leave

Loved going abroad with dc. Wiill never holiday in this country (can’t afford it)

Depends which country it was. 40° in the Med with fresh air and a pool, no probs. 40° in India with the dust, humidity and likely no pool, not great fun.

I went to live in the Far East with a 3 month and a three year old. 6 weeks in each ccity then moved to a new site. Did that for two years, then when eldest needed schooling settled in one city for foyr years. Nice hotels and business class flights but a bit stressful. The girls thrived and could swim like fishes, ate all sorts of foods and picked up languages.