To think it's cruel to take a 9 month old baby abroad

[Cherryblossom90]

Recently been on three week holiday abroad with DH and 9 month old baby to see our extended family.

Baby was fine in terms of sleep, eating etc but due to hot weather abroad she was stuck in doors with me/DH/other family member for most of the day. She seemed just gentally miserable not her Usual self at all (more quiet and clingy, mainly) she's been back to usual self since being back. I really regret going actually even though the adults had a nice time I feel it was a bit selfish and I feel we shouldn't have gone.

Just curious how others justify taking a baby abroad on a long plane journey, to a hot country when it's so unpleasant for the baby?

Am I being unreasonable to think it's cruel to take a baby abroad?

Yes YABU. I've taken my now adult DC abroad since they were babies and now we take DGC. Obviously it takes a lot of prep, planning and effort and the whole thing needs to be arranged with their comfort and safety in mind. This affected our choice of destination, accommodation and time of year to travel, also the structure of the days. However, we have never once had a bad experience and no regrets. 'Abroad' is not one place after all, and a week in a family orientated hotel or nice villa in Majorca in October isn't the same as a week in a lively resort in Falaraki in July.

When you say the adults had a nice time, did you have a nice time? Or was everyone else sitting around getting mildly sozzled on a sunbed while you were pacing the floor with an overheated baby? Because it’s totally ok to say you didn’t enjoy that…

Was it a trip to your in-laws@Cherryblossom90 ? Are you confusing cruelty to a 9-month old baby with you having a shitty time?

I took my eldest to Australia for 4 weeks when he was 8 months to see family (in laws). We carried on as normal. Days out, dressed appropriately, sun cream, shade in the pram, plenty of water and milk when needed. Yes he was slightly tired when we arrived after the 24 hour flights but after a day or so we got back to normal. Same on the way back. I don't see why you would stay inside all the time and not do anything! Of course they were going to be miserable and not themself stuck inside all day the whole 3 weeks.

I'd do it every year if we could afford it.

Honestly, it’s ok to say you just didn’t enjoy the holiday. No need to bring the baby into this

I have pale skin and struggle in temperatures above 25 degrees. My youngest is the same, so obviously I would not bring her to a hot country for a few years, til she's better able to deal with it. I can't comment on the choices of others.

we took our one year old away for the first time this week, uk holiday. I would guess the out of sorts ness is More likely the out or normality, different places, different people etc more than the heat. I don’t particularly enjoy taking babies on holiday myself but I think it’s the general change rather than heat

And in other shock news, babies eat spicy food...

I am originally from Malaysia and took my kids from very young (seven months) on flights to Malaysia. All children are different and we as parents have to make those judgements. Mine were fine and even at a very young age really benefited from seeing family, enjoying the food and seeing some sun. For us building those bonds was important. I do not think it is any more "cruel" than taking small children on a long journey anywhere.

I presume your skin does not cope with higher uv levels and not temperature?

We flew five hours when our little one was this age to go on holiday. He had a ball. I found that if you try to get them on a similar schedule to the locals... long afternoon nap and later evenings as they eat dinner late and everyone is out late at night (kids and babies included) socialising, playing on playgrounds etc when it's cooler. We just fell into that pattern for the holiday xx

If you kept him inside he would´ve been bored to death. I took mine to Greece and driven around Spain and she has been fine.

I've very pale skin and have lived hot countries for the past 10 years. What has skin colour got to do with anything, so long as you protect it? I wear sun screen every day, wear a hat and stay in the shade, as do my very pale (and very happy!) children. Can't say I love the heat but my children have travelled extensively amd it has been nothing but beneficial for them.

It’s probably cruel to take yours abroad if she doesn’t like it.

Mine loved it, always has, still does as a toddler. Thrives off new places and people. It’s absolutely not cruel for him

We took ds to Portugal for a family holiday at 6 months. It was great and he was fine, went out on boats, even late nights in restaurants sleeping in the buggy. I’m sorry your baby didn’t get on so well but they are all different just like adults.

I think "cruel" is too strong a term.
I took my baby (11months) from Ireland (her dad is pale skinned/ red hair) to my family (South of France) in July. This was so she could meet the family. My family live in a old village up the mountains (so no aircon). And she was fine. So it may depend on the individual child as to how they are affected with heat or change of routine. There also may have been a component that as I was born and raised in that environment, and going to stay with family, amongst us we may have more knowledge about how to manage with heat and small children.

Babies do exist in hot countries. They are kept indoors during the hottest part of the day.

If you’re not properly prepared and/ or don’t ensure that the baby is safe and comfortable, then it’s cruel.
People don’t generally go on holidays to be uncomfortable. It’s a little bit different for babies but not that much.
Your holiday doesn’t sound ideal but I wouldn’t call that “cruel”.
I think that’s main problem with taking a baby that age away, you may not have much of a chance to enjoy the holiday yourself because you may have to work a lot harder than normal to keep them comfortable and entertained and taken care of.

A baby cries at home because they are hungry, need a nappy change or are tired, if you take them abroad how do you know they are crying because they miscalculated their frequent flyer points?

My 8 month old loved her first holiday. Got to swim in an outdoor pool and feel the sea for the first time! Strange post.

😂😂😂

Geez, I've been abroad to visit family 6 times with babies under 1 (twice with my youngest and 4 times with my oldest). Florida, so very hot. They were fine. Babies are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for too and I think we project a lot of feelings onto them when actually, if they are fed, played with, and sleep, they are generally fine. Family is important and my oldest now that he's 5 loves looking at photos of him as a baby on the plane and with his cousins etc.

Op you do know people in hot countries have babies right?