To think it's cruel to take a 9 month old baby abroad

[Cherryblossom90]

Recently been on three week holiday abroad with DH and 9 month old baby to see our extended family.

Baby was fine in terms of sleep, eating etc but due to hot weather abroad she was stuck in doors with me/DH/other family member for most of the day. She seemed just gentally miserable not her Usual self at all (more quiet and clingy, mainly) she's been back to usual self since being back. I really regret going actually even though the adults had a nice time I feel it was a bit selfish and I feel we shouldn't have gone.

Just curious how others justify taking a baby abroad on a long plane journey, to a hot country when it's so unpleasant for the baby?

Am I being unreasonable to think it's cruel to take a baby abroad?

Baby was probably miserable because she was indoors all the time! You don't need to keep children out of the sun, in fact they cope with it much better than adults seem to. Keep them covered with a parasol, dressed in cool layers like linen or pure cotton, sunscreen, hat and you're good to go. We took our now 7 year old to Lanzarote when he was 1 and it was roasting but he had a marvellous time splashing about in the pool/sea etc. Not cruel in the slightest.

I can't believe this is real 🙈 You'll raise a lovely snowflake with this sort of attitude 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think this is probably one of the stupidest things I've ever read on here!
Cruel?? Are you for real? YABVU to casually use the word when children are suffering abuse and neglect - THATS cruelty.

As for holidays, some babies are fussier than others, and obviously some parents are a lot fussier too. DS first went abroad to a hot location at 9mths, DD at 7mths. They were so happy and chilled, loved being in a little romper with bare feet, splashing in the warm sea and pools, trying new food, getting so much attention, both have always travelled very well, no issues on a plane. They're both well travelled now and never had any issues dropping the routine for a holiday! I consider them extremely lucky children.

There's all sorts of shades you can get now for prams. Just avoid the hottest time of the day. Go to the beach and hire some sunbeds with a parasol. Go to a waterpark with a play area for little ones.

It's a different heat abroad than the UK less humid. There's really no reason to be staying in your accomodation most the holiday.

I will be taking my 9mo baby and my 4 year old to Australia to see their grandparents later this year. Is that cruel of me? To give them time with their grandparents and other family members. Get over yourself.

My family is from a ‘hot country’ where it can be 30 degrees in December. We have been travelling since DC1 was 6 months. Made sure they had lots of baths, water play when they were a bit older, cool clothing, fans/ACs, cold fruit and it was fine.
Why was she stuck indoors all the time though? You could go out after the sun sets. My kids always sleep late when we go to India and wake up late so it allows them to make the most of the post sunset period. There would have been parks and soft plays and things for your baby to do.
Also I take toys and they always found the novelty of people visiting, new places etc endlessly fascinating.
Did I get a lot of unsolicited parenting advice? Yes. But that’s part and parcel of it.

Conversely my kids are growing up somewhere where it is -30 in the winter and they regularly do school runs in -12. Is that cruel? (My tropical body says yes- my kids seem fine!!)

It depends on the set-up. Personally I find it boring having to keep young kids in the shade all the time and I hate having to share a room with my DC. So if there weren't plenty of shaded areas where they could play, a covered pool and decent aircon, I wouldn't bother. I don't go on holiday to be uncomfortable.

I mean, yes you can slather them in sun cream and put the hat back on for the nth million time of the day and sit in your apartment from late morning all day until it cools down towards the evening, and deal with a 9 month old who isn't sleeping because they're not tired and are getting a bit bored being stuck under a snooze shade the whole time when they're out, rather than getting to crawl around. And you can take them in the pool for little tiny dips and then out 10 minutes later (having spent twice as long sun creaming and swim nappying them) because the glare is too hot.

We went to a resort when my youngest DC was 13 months which had a completely covered kids pool, including splash area, a crèche and all meals provided. Great air con in the room and we had a suite so didn't have to share with the kids. Not gonna lie, that was great.

But then it's the same in the UK tbh. There's a reason we see one set of grandparents more than the other. They turn the downstairs of their house into a giant play area for the kids, bring out pop out playhouses and a folding slide, get in all the kids' favourite food, offer to babysit and the kids have their own room separate from ours. It's actually a holiday rather than an ordeal to visit them. The ones with the tiny cottage, ornamental pond and lots of china stuff, not so much.

My brother's ex was adamant they weren't taking their DS abroad until she was at least 4. They had a few holidays in the UK. But for their first holiday abroad chose a long haul flight to Florida to go to Disney World. Luckily DN was fine on the flight.

This

I agree - definitely cruelty to adults!
I'd only visit again if I could stay in a hotel I could escape to.

I started taking DD ‘abroad’ to the UK (from the USA) twice a year from nine months old until she started school.

Never once thought it was cruel.

The toughest bit was to me becaus DH couldn’t get AL so I had to do all the trips on my own.

Children should enhance your life, not dictate and dominate it.

Certainly not cruel but very much up to the individual family. Taking babies/young children to very hot climates requires additional attention( sun screen/staying out of sun etc) but some people are prepared for that.
Each to their own but it certainly isn't cruel

OP seems to have vanished....

My son would be fine with changes to routine and temp, but would be furious about being carted about all day - so it would need to be a crawling holiday.

Other than that, no problem.

Cruel is a strong word but if your baby is used to a certain weather and you’re not basically a seasoned backpacker then I’d say it’s an interesting choice!!

Have only been on a small amount of long haul flights but twice we had people sitting close to us with a screaming baby and I did feel for them and the baby. I get it for visiting family but other than that I personally don’t see the point

YABU. People “abroad” have babies, you know.

I took my DD abroad for the first time when she was 8months old and she had an amazing time. When she wasnt sleeping in the shade in her buggy she was in the pool with us (in her floating seat) and was happy, content and was very spoilt. She was even great on the flight there and back too which surprised me. As long as they are entertained, kids of any age will enjoy a nice holiday.

While, unsurprisingly, OP hasn’t been back, I think you have probably got to the nub of the matter. While other posters are talking taking their babies on lovely holidays spent in lovely hotels with pools,

It’s not cruel. You had a bad experience with your baby, but many others cope just fine. Travelling when they are babies is the easiest time in my opinion, before they are on the move. Perhaps you were anxious and the baby picked up on it. I’ve never had to stay indoors all the time either.

All these people saying babies live in hot countries.. wtf. They're USED TO living in hot countries. A 9 month old doesn't understand the concept of holidays. All the know is they're somewhere strange, somewhere unusually hot for them, and everything is different. It's stressful for them, and for parents.

I wouldn't go as far as to say "cruel", but holidays are definitely more rewarding when the child understand the concept!

Yep! It's for this reason my daughter will be travelling to Vienna aged 15 weeks 😂

Of course it’s not cruel to take a baby abroad as long as the usual considerations are given to their wellbeing and welfare. If anything, a baby could benefit as in their parents are on holiday and have more time to spend relaxing and enjoying their baby.