To think it's cruel to take a 9 month old baby abroad

[Cherryblossom90]

Recently been on three week holiday abroad with DH and 9 month old baby to see our extended family.

Baby was fine in terms of sleep, eating etc but due to hot weather abroad she was stuck in doors with me/DH/other family member for most of the day. She seemed just gentally miserable not her Usual self at all (more quiet and clingy, mainly) she's been back to usual self since being back. I really regret going actually even though the adults had a nice time I feel it was a bit selfish and I feel we shouldn't have gone.

Just curious how others justify taking a baby abroad on a long plane journey, to a hot country when it's so unpleasant for the baby?

Am I being unreasonable to think it's cruel to take a baby abroad?

I think the best way to think about it is not as a holiday but as an "experience". So if you were doing your school DofE expedition or backpacking around South America, you'd be prepared for it, wouldn't you? You'd get all the gear, sort the food, practice pitching the tent or organise hostels, that sort of thing. I've always viewed "holidays" with kids in the same sort of way.

Now some people are fairly chilled out about shit that goes wrong and I think these are the sort of people who enjoy experiences. So they can laugh about almost getting frostbite due to an ill-advised walk in Siberian, having to sleep outside a central American railway station, being eaten to bits by mosquitos, the baby screaming for 8 hours solid on the plane and how the people next to them must have hated them, how Auntie Doris essentially "kidnapped" the baby the whole time and how they were kept awake by the malfunctioning AC unit constantly dripping the whole night. Because this is all part of the "experience" for them.

I enjoyed experiences more when I was younger because I drank more often and made sure I wasn't totally sober for the worst of them. I'm sure that when my kids are older and I'm not constantly running around after them but can just sit back with a drink and let shit happen, I'll enjoy them once again.

We took our DD abroad last year at 7 months and i didn’t enjoy it. She got ill and that added to the stress, the early stages of weaning made eating out a bit of a nightmare and we struggled for things for her to do.

We have been a way a few times this year and it has been brilliant now that she is that bit older.

I’ve said that if we have another DC well go away before weaning starts and then wait until they can walk 😂.

To visit extended family? No, no I don't.
Bonding with extended family 1 V hot climate 0

Of course it's not cruel! We took ours from the age of 6 months long haul every year. They were outside (in the shade) and napped just like at home. They loved it. And so did we. My only regret is that they weren't old enough to remember it now they're older. Although all that travelling and having to wait around airports etc really helped behaviour wise, because it became their norm. They both still love travelling now as adults.

I’m not sure why you needed to keep her inside. Keep her in the shade, with a sun suit and hat on or under an umbrella. Avoid the sun 12-3 and go out other times

You chose to make her holiday experience miserable by confining her inside instead of getting out and about having fun

A shopping centre is somewhere strange, unusually hot and everything is different for a nine month old. New experiences actually aren’t stressful for babies, for us holidays with them haven’t beem stressful either.

This. And an excuse not to go again....

Report yourself to the NSPCC and log it with 101, @Cherryblossom90 , and never do it again.

OP hasn't come back

Ffs Op. I was born in a country 36deg all year round. It’s possible to survive in the heat. 😂

I wouldn't go as far as to say "cruel", but holidays are definitely more rewarding when the child understand the concept!

Well to be fair children don't really understand the concept of a "holiday" until they start school so should all parents just stay home for 4-5 years?

Also, everything is new and different for babies - because they're babies 😂

Don't be daft. My 6 month old daughter is currently abroad, living her best life.

We take our dc on holiday to visit family to a hot part of the US every year. DCs were 11 months when they first went. We always choose the milder time of year to go (35 degrees max), so it's much hotter than we're used to but not unbearably so. The dc have a brilliant time, they visit lots of attractions like kids museums and theme parks, go to the beach and playgrounds. With shade and fans and air con it's fine. We've never felt the need to stay at our holiday home all day - just get in the car and head somewhere indoors with air con. Even at 9m a baby would have a wonderful time crawling around a children's museum.

I think this was a wind-up.

Well I took my 5 month old to New Zealand for my SiL's wedding. I can't say I enjoyed it much, but he was fine.

What? Better than the average 6 month old? How do you quantify that?

Jesus Christ - what bollocks have I just read? Get a grip OP ffs! 🤦‍♀️🙄

It's just a saying FFS! My 15yo is frequently living his best life according to him.

Thanks for your replies, I feel a bit less guilty now for the holiday. But I don't think we will be travelling abroad with her again until she is old enough to be reasoned with and understand what is going on in regards to change of routine, hot weather, lots of new foods, plane delays, all the travelling and meeting lots of new family etc. Maybe 3 or 4 yrs old I'm thinking.

Cruel 🤦🏼‍♀️😂😂😂

No it's not at all. I took one of mine abroad as an 8 month old and whilst it was difficult it wasn't because we weren't at home. He was going through a phase of fighting naps/wouldn't sleep in the pushchair so it made our holiday not really a holiday but when he was awake and in a good mood he was happy and smiley. I have a photo of him grinning in his pushchair with his sunhat and romper on.

Life doesn't stop when you have a baby, you have to crack on with things and I wish I had done more of that with #1.

Don't assume it will be easier with a 4yo. They can be told, they will not all understand or be reasoned with.
If you didn't enjoy it, fair enough. But your baby will be fine, and in the long run new experiences and exposure to lots of loving people is good for them.

You’re in for an incredibly limited life if you only do new things when your child understands and can be reasoned with.
All the things you list, new foods, change of routine, new people, delays etc can all happen without being abroad, and many of them are actually beneficial.

😂😂😂😂😂😂 you’ve got a lot to learn best of luck to you.

Oh my sweet summer child. Reasoning with a 3 year old 😂😂😂. Seriously though. It's not so bad that you need to stay home. And time alone as a family is fantastic.