To think it's cruel to take a 9 month old baby abroad

[Cherryblossom90]

Recently been on three week holiday abroad with DH and 9 month old baby to see our extended family.

Baby was fine in terms of sleep, eating etc but due to hot weather abroad she was stuck in doors with me/DH/other family member for most of the day. She seemed just gentally miserable not her Usual self at all (more quiet and clingy, mainly) she's been back to usual self since being back. I really regret going actually even though the adults had a nice time I feel it was a bit selfish and I feel we shouldn't have gone.

Just curious how others justify taking a baby abroad on a long plane journey, to a hot country when it's so unpleasant for the baby?

Am I being unreasonable to think it's cruel to take a baby abroad?

Maybe it was cruel for your baby but many manage outside just fine with the appropriate sun protecting interventions

Am I missing something? You don't just lock baby indoors all day. You enjoy dips in the swimming pool on demand, you cover them up well, you maybe keep them up a bit later and try and nap them for a bit longer during the hottest time of the day. You take them to the beach. You generally enjoy being somewhere new and experience new sights, tastes and smells.

If you sit there between 4 brick walls with a face like a slapped backside of course baby is going to be miserable. If you relax and go with the flow then so will baby.

The 'cruelty' here is that you seem to be projecting your own hangups about the holiday on to your baby and even maybe using them as a scapegoat for a holiday you never really wanted to go on. Stop this now otherwise you're going to have a confused, anxious kid on your hands in a few years whether you take them abroad or not.

No it's not cruel. Stop trying to shame parents who choose to do this.

It may have been more cruel to have locked her up inside, instead of having her out getting used to the weather.

My 5 month old was in Florida heat in the middle of summer and 11 months old in a blistering New York winter. She was fine in both conditions. She's an adaptable little bugger 🤷🏾‍♀️.

This is massive projection as you had a shit holiday OP.

I think its 'cruel' that we live in a country when I'm in literally pain half the year from the cold, not to mention the season effective issues on our mental health... give me that hot weather.

Cold has just as many negatives as hot weather.

Why was she stuck indoors??

we’ve been twice to 35-40C with 6m and then 9m old and we were inside during the hottest part of the day but there was plenty of opportunities to be out before 11 am or after 4! If you were with relatives maybe you didn’t have the pool but having a pool also helps, especially a shaded one

I've taken dc away to hot countries from age 3 months. Never been stuck indoors. Breakfast outdoors, play in the shade, dip in the pool then nap. Play indoors at the hottest part of day. Back in pool, another nap then out for dinner. Cool clothes, blackout pram cover, cool drinks.

Utterly ridiculous. They go through so many leaps at this age that it could simply have been that. Or teething.

Taking children abroad is fantastic. Exposure to new surroundings, sights, tastes etc is what life is all about.

Sounds like you're not very confident perhaps and that's been part of the issue. I'm sure there were many things you could have done that didn't involve staying in accommodation all day.

I took DS to see my parents in Spain at 3 months. He had a ball.
Rash suit, legionaries style hat, loads of SPF 50.
Big parasol, in and out of the pool/sea. Meals out with all the Spanish fussing over him. EBF, so no worries about bottles/water. It was one of the easiest holidays we have ever had.
Not cruel at all.

Cruel is a huge exaggeration. She won't have any recollection of this holiday so as long as she wasn't abused which would be cruel of course then I would just move on. I'm sure babies who live in hot countries don't stay at home 24/7 so you could have been more imaginative imo

i genuinely can’t see why anyone would be voting YANBU op!

I don't think it's cruel. DD2 went on holiday with us when she was younger than that and seemed to love it, and she has very fair skin.

I didn't take my PFB away to hotter climes at 9 months - I think she was about 2.

My youngest has gone since about 6mo and is a very chilled flyer / happy to "get on" in most situations - she's been all over, including music festivals.

Precious first born is it OP? Maybe your child was fed up because they were stuck inside? I’m hoping you had air con.

lol I must be a terrible mother, just booked a holiday abroad for when DC2 will be 8 months old.

Children are highly adaptable. Adequate sun protection at all times and plenty to drink and they are fine.

While cruel is certainly the word for OP to have chosen, that really is a bit of a leap!

I took my 9 month old, and one year old, and 6 year old, on a holiday. It was around 28 degrees. I have the most amazing pictures of her eating huge strawberries which she had crushed in her hand, they were so juicy. Playing in the sand and watching the waves at the beach! Pointing at boats and floating down the lazy river in her baby rubber ring. She loved the babies pool, the entertainment which was all for kids, pics of her laughing at her brothers, it was idyllic. She slept beautifully every night and we had AC.

so yeah YABU. Is it where you went rather than the idea of being in another country?

I wouldn’t say it’s cruel, no - plus some people literally have no choice. My close family all live abroad and I wouldn’t see them if I wasn’t prepared to fly fairly regularly. I admit I didn’t travel until DC was a toddler but that was because of my poor mental health at the time (PND) rather than a conscious choice to avoid taking my child abroad.

Cruel was keeping a baby indoors for a few weeks

Maybe baby was miserable because you didn’t take them out to get fresh air

Personally I think seeing family in holiday destinations is cruel tbh (in my experience). I went on a “holiday” in the loosest of terms, it was really just a tour of several peoples hot houses, where I’d drink badly made tea all day and be spoken over, then spend the evening eating the same dinner with the same people, then sleeping every night in a family members spare room with no AC.

That’s cruel for all involved, baby or not 😂

We took ours to Disney at 6 months and both he and the 2 year old loved it. Sorry your experience wasn’t as good.

What about kids living in really hot countries? I mean, it's not like you took your kid to a hostile environment (Antarctica). A lot of kids grow up in such climate. This is how you make your kids resilient, they are in touch with different weather, food, culture... we've been taking our son abroad since he was a baby, he's seen a lot of countries and had so many amazing experiences. Don't limit his experiences because of hot weather, he will be fine.

I circled the globe several times as a baby, being taken to meet relatives. It's the unintended consequences you have to be careful of.

One trip (so the story goes), I was refusing to eat anything at all. In desperation they tried some leftover trifle. Eureka! I ate and cheered up and ate and burbled and ate and started giggling ... whereupon they remembered that it was grandma's generously sherried trifle. Oops.

If you didn't get your babe drunk you're doing okay.

Guaranteed

I suppose it was a bit cruel to keep her inside, it would have been lovely for her to lie her on a mat in the shade and let her play.