ExDH new GF posting photos of children

[Pixie378]

AIBU to ask my ex to ask his GF to removed the photos of our children from Facebook?.
Her profile is public and I do not know her or anyone she knows.
I have not given permission for the photos to be put on her social media and feel that this is disrespectful.
I have asked nicely.

Hi, no I don't have her on my friends list but she tags him in the post and our joint friends see the post.
I have actually blocked her as I have no interest in seeing their relationship splashed over SM.
My ex is a very selfish man, he will do anything to upset me.
I have never met the woman and she is a stranger to me and I have no idea of her lifestyle choices and who she hangs around with.
If her page was set to private I would not be as concerned but it's public and any weirdo could be stealing the pics of my children.

Start commenting on every photo “as the mother of these children, I’d like to ask you to take these down immediately, thank you.” You might not be able to prevent her from posting if the father has given permission, but that should put a damper on whatever social attention points she’s seeking by using your kids as a prop.

My DHs ex asked me not to do this the first time I met their child, along with driving him anywhere and a few other things I considered reasonable and still do after having my own children. If you get on with her or have any communication I would perhaps send a light hearted message straight to her, if you don't then message your ex. I don't think it's unreasonable and I would feel the same as you

I did ask my ex politely for them to be taken down, he told me in very rude language that I should do my research on that and so I did.

I have found an article that states that both parents should come to an agreement on what is acceptable for the kids.
But this won't be possible as my ex does everything to avoid direct action, he also is going out of his way to make things difficult.

I also can not message her as she is blocked by me after she messaged me constantly for 2 hours telling me how great he is and I then gave in and told her everything he told her was lie - really was and I was not saying it to be mean.

I was with my ex for 13 years and never once did anything to deserve the nastiness I get from him.

You are not unreasonable to be concerned @Pixie378

Deutsche Telekom AI manipulation

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/feb/26/son-social-media-parents-children

"every right"? I can't see why anyone would post photos of someone else's children, especially when a parent has asked them not to.

Hi, no I don't have her on my friends list but she tags him in the post and our joint friends see the post.

I'd tell them you don't want to know.

Why are they telling you about the posts your ex is tagged in?

This, I would ask him has any idea that the pictures are public?

Legal she does not, she is the copyright holder. Anyone can take a photo of your child and hold all rights to it, they can sell it or anything they don't need any permission.

I do find it a weird thought process though to post photos of your boyfriends kids that aren't yours and you are not a parental figure too (given these children HAVE a mother). It feels very boundary stomping and a 'marking your territory' (when it is in fact NOT your territory) move. Which likely suggests insecurity.

Amazes me sometimes how careless people can be. Posting your children's photos and personal info publicly online can cause serious issues for them now and later in life.

So no, you're not being unreasonable to want them taken down.

Social media will be the end of us.

She absolutely does. They are not her children!

I think it’s terms you need to agree with their dad and then he needs to ensure whatever is agreed between the pair of you happens with his girlfriend.

Thats ideal land I know but I think it’s a partner first conversation.

I think it is perfectly legal for her to post these snaps. You might not like it but you can't stop her.

Important question : do you put your DC's pictures on social media ? Does your husband ? If no, I would ask the gf directly (use a friend's account) to please take them down as they don't have the age to consent. I don't do social media at all and neither does my husband (except LinkedIn) so I'm lucky that way. I just don't get the need to show off your DC for the whole world to see. Nobody's interested except family and you can send'em pics privately. And your children have the right to their privacy.

This happened to a friend of mine & it made her furious especially as she did not put pictures of her children online. The new woman shared everything holidays, Easter egg hunts etc. It only stopped sadly when the couple spilt up. I don't think there is anything you can do other than ask nicely & it's wrong x

It’s not a battle you’ll win I’m afraid. I’ve had similar - they had an affair (now married) and it’s been many years of tagging about how they are a family (complete with hash tags) and their special places etc. I asked people not to tell me - it’s not necessary and it just aggravates the situation. Unfortunately, it’s out of your control - whilst I understand how hard that is to accept you will be better off in the long run. As he had PR and she has his permission you will have no say unless it’s a safeguarding issue.

Oh, so you’d be cool with a pervert taking the photos and using AI to make something vile with them then?

She doesn't have a 'public' profile then - she just has it set to 'friends who are tagged can see this post' - so basically her friends and your ex's friends can see unless she's also tagging loads of random people. Just saying for your peace of mind that they are not in the public domain accessible to anyone.

If your relationship with your ex is fraught then it will just be an argument and I doubt it will change. Can you ask your children how they feel about it (sorry if I've missed how old they are?) and if they are against it you can relay that to your ex, but again I don't think you can actually do anything to stop her.

If their father has given permission then I'm not sure there's much you can do other than let them know that you object. I sympathise, I think this must be one of the worst aspects of co-parenting and I would hate it.

Can you report the photos to the social media administration. Explain the situation and see what happens. Of course nothing might happen but you never know her profile might be put on hold. Ask your ex to have his gf blank out the faces of your kids by putting a smiley face etc over the picture. She should remove the photos that cannot be blanked out.

Their other parent is fine with it, though.

She probably does have permission from their parent though - just not OP.

Anyone can take photos of your children in public places and post them online without your permission, there is no law against that. The laws prevent them being used in criminal ways, not being posted on fb.

What? No one would be cool with this. It doesn't change the fact that the op can't stop her ex's gf posting pictures of her kids.