To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

[LookOverHere]

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

Because he didn’t say any of those things did he? He just said to sit in the park.

Why assume it means more than he’s stated?

Wouldn't he have clarified it if it was more than sitting in the park though?

I love nice restaurants, but not for a second date with a total stranger. I can't imagine anything more awkward

Drink sangria in the park ,then go home.....
It's such a perfect day.....

Maybe he's waiting for OP to respond, or wants to see how things go on the day, or what the weather is doing?

OP is also free to clarify things for herself if she's curious.

I’d be annoyed with this too OP. If it was a suggestion of a picnic maybe a different story, or even going for a walk and stopping off for a drink at a pub…but sitting in the park?

I have a male friend that told me for first dates he will always suggest something cheap like a coffee that doesn’t have to last very long if he doesn’t like them and has just got to the point where he was sick of spending a fortune on meals for it to not work out. It may just be the case where he’s not sure about you yet but if you’ve spent time chatting on the phone and he’s already got to know you a little bit I would expect something a little more for a second date.

Because very few people will want to just "sit on a bench" with a stranger?

If it isn't raining then sitting in a park, people watching, chatting and picnicking would be a lovely date I think. Need a plan b however. Ask him if it involves a picnic etc. or will you go to eat if date goes on a while.

Nothing wrong with this, but boy am I happy
that I don't have to or need to bother dating anymore!

😂 yes indeed! In fact a few weeks ago when the sunshine finally hit my DH and I got a babysitter and just went to our local park to sit in the sunshine together. It's a lovely park, but we moved in the winter, then had a baby and have been the types to have early bedtimes for our smalls so in the 6 years we've lived here we've never once enjoyed a leisurely evening soaking up the atmosphere of a bustling city park right on our doorstep, enjoying company and conversation and eventually watching the sunset. It was simple and lovely. But, that's me and him. It's okay for others to want different things, but would be helpful for the OP if her and Mr Parkdate are on the same page about things!!

Maybe when he says 'sit in a park' he means with a picnic and just hasn't said all the thoughts? Maybe he hasn't checked the forecast?? Have you asked for any more information on what he's thinking OP? Is it a busy park? Nice place to watch the sunset maybe?

Not according to the frankly bizarre contributers to this thread. I can only assume most of them are a) male b) 14 or c) both.

I think I'd ask him to clarify what he means

Absolutely not. Nope no. You’re worth far more. He’s cheap and dull. Go with your initial instinct

Well there you have it! You’ve just answered your own question about ‘why assume the worst?’ 🙄

How?

I'm assuming that most people would see sitting in the park as having a drink and a picnic, or going to a cafe, not just "sitting on bench" which is how you've chosen to interpret it 🙄

Reply saying a picnic would be lovely, but they've forecasted rain and suggest another day or alternative venue.

Because it’s unlikely he means literally just sitting on the park bench staring at each other for a few hours.

I'd ask for a wee bit clarification as pp said. Walking in the park...lovely or getting coffee in a park cafe. Sitting in the park just doesn't sound as nice !

For those knocking the rules, they worked for me.

You might find a lovely little table with a pretty tablecloth and all sorts of delicacies on it- champagne flutes and truffles accompanied by a handsome violin player, playing romantic music on the other hand it may be a park bench.

I'd love that, as I love being in parks. Also sometimes it's easier to talk while strolling or sat side by side looking at a lake, than face to face over a dinner table. However, if it's not something you'd enjoy, maybe suggest something else.

Maybe he is being respectful and thinking you want to be in a public area for safety? Maybe he wants to have a date away from a pub or restaurant and get to know you in normal clothes rather than both dressed up for a date.
Either way, I’d be seeing it as a pleasant invite and and something a bit different. He might want to surprise you with a picnic.
Sounds good to me.
Would you rather he be trying to get you drunk or be asking for nudes?