To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

[LookOverHere]

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

Maybe he’s a dogger.

If you're a rules girl, you probably have good dated since 1999....

One thing i learned about dating is to be open minded and open to something new

And entitled, they almost want men to pay to spend time with them…

A lot of people are clearly looking to be "impressed" by the wrong things when they're dating. No wonder people end up with such bad matches when the focus is on who takes who where and in what order rather than the quality of match.

Given that people have gone to restaurants on dates for decades, it's hardly more effort than suggesting a conversation in the park. More money. Not more effort. Says a lot about what's being judged.

It worked for me and I had a lovely time dating ( in 2018 if it’s relevant) rather than a miserable time sat on damp park benches. We have choices in dating and if someone wants a more traditional approach of dinner dates etc then that’s their choice

Maybe he’s a millionaire and is testing you!

Just make sure it isn't a deserted, off the beaten track sort of park. Did he have a park in mind?

We do have choices. A park date isn’t automatically ‘miserable’ just because it might be a bit damp or doesn’t involve a man spending money on you.

Maybe he is being mindful you might want to feel safe in a public place? Or so he does? Have you an evil glint in your eye op?

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, I like the outdoors and think it would be a nice way to get to know someone, walking, chatting in the fresh air. If that’s not your thing then fair enough, but for some it would be a nice idea

I did wonder if suggesting the park means he’s actually pretty well off. Not so much to test OP, but more because it wouldn’t occur to many well off people that they need to impress by spending or prove that they can afford a dinner date - that’s just taken as read.

Where does it say he plans to just "sit on a bench"?

I'd be alright if a walk or coffee was involved, but not just sitting on a bench or something.

I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain.
This comment from your opening post is a perfect response. If he responds with a pleasant way you will see that he is on your wavelength, if not, bin him.

Don't most of these events – live music (pop/jazz/opera/any genre!), outdoor cinemas, food markets and al fresco pop ups, sports, etc etc – take place in the parks in summer?

For all the people who ‘don’t like meals’ (who doesn’t like meals and why???) and those who love living on fresh air and bird song - just a reminder that this man has suggested ‘a sit’ - not a stroll, or a walk, or a mooch along the river to a nice destination… noooo ‘a sit’ and ‘in a park’.

He’s not exactly pushing out the boat or trying to impress her is he? This isn’t about being grabby. Or snobby. But sitting in a park? Who does that apart from teenagers and the travellers of the road??

I guess it depends on what you're after. If you're of the school of thought that a man must show his interest through money then maybe let this one go.

That doesn't make him cheap or disinterested though.

My second date with my partner (of 10 years) was a walk through Regents Park, which then rolled into dinner. He's extremely generous but doesn't focus on stuff. We still have a lot of walking dates together now.

Think there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to sit in the park, actually is exactly what DH and I did on our second date. However if this isn't what you want to do then open communication would be the best bet, especially at this early stage of testing compatibilities and expectations.

Why should they? I want to date a man who is interested in getting to know me, not someone who just wants to throw money at me at an attempt to impress me.

Going to the park isn’t any less thoughtless than a very predictable dinner date.

Yep, I've read it, and nowhere does he say "let's go and sit on a bench". "Sitting in the park" could mean at a cafe, or taking a picnic, or sitting watching a concert, or any number of other things.

Why assume the worst?

Yes ok his suggestion hasn’t taken hours of research and it’s nothing particularly unusual. But the OP hasn’t done any research either or made any more interesting suggestions. Why is it the bloke who has to impress? Are we in 1950?

Send him to this thread op. It's full of women who apparently love sitting on park benches and hate nice restaurants.