To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

[LookOverHere]

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

Ask him what he means by that??

Agreed. Ok it's a bit annoying that it's scheduled to rain but I can't see any problem with going to a nice park for a few hours. There's likely to be a coffee shop there you could get a drink from and it actually gives you chance to talk in a relaxed environment. It sounds like a much better second date idea than a meal out.

I know he said 'sit in the park', but maybe don't take it too literally. It would be perfect for me. I like walking. I like peace and quiet. Birds tweeting. Flowers in bloom. And not having to try and talk between shovelling food into my gob without spilling anything, which invariably happens when I'm nervous😆 Also, it honestly would never, ever cross my mind to think that it was a cheap date. I would just be happy that he thought like me. Maybe the two of you have mismatched expectations.

Is he bringing the bottle of Frosty Jack or are you?

A simple early date bodes well for later ones.
The flashiest have turned out to be the worst.

Sitting somewhere scenic, hopefully nice weather, a long chat with no distractions, no loud loud music, or a crowded cafe with people jostling for tables, no pressure .. sounds nice to me

Would you want to have to pay for dinner for every single date? The last few meals I’ve had with my oh have come to between £150-£200 including a few cocktails. Say they’re going on 1 date a week. And the first date he’s already taken her for drinks. Could you afford £200 a dinner date every single week? Even if you could, why should you have to?

I’d enjoy a park but I can see it’s a long way from a meal in a restaurant and if that’s what you were expecting, it falls short.

If you aren’t compatible about how you spend time for the second date, it doesn’t bode well for the future.

Who paid for the first date? If it was him it’s your turn so you should suggest a place. If you split the first date I’d just say the weather’s not great so how about a cafe somewhere.

Clarify what sort of park and does he mean a picnic?

Tightness alarm bells ringing though (and Blur playing in my head)

ETA and no I don't think he should have to pay for it all if dinner etc.

Bet he’ll expect you to bring the cans of cider.
😉😁😁

Tight or he th inks he will be able to have an afternoon of uninterrupted snogging and heavy petting on the grass like a pair of 16 year olds!

A romantic meal for a second date?

You're getting ahead of yourself

Do you /he have a dog? Suggest a nice walk, somewhere with people around! Then a pub drink or meal
I wouldn't sit with DH in the park randomly let alone a date

Thanks all - appreciate the replies. We had two drinks for first date and split the bill, and I picked the bar. He’s got a good job, owns his own home (that’s what he says anyway!). I always offer to split the bill, mostly when I date if he pays on a date I get the next one, which works well.

Has he just worded this badly? What sort of park?
You could suggest something if you are interested in him.

Could he mean the park cafe? Or maybe he was going to bring a picnic? If I suggested a park date I'd definitely bring a couple of cans of g&t and some crisps at least?!
Just say 'the weather's not looking great, why don't we go to x reasonably priced local pub/food place?' if he declines then I'd say just don't bother to suggest another date. But it's a shame to be not allowing him a chance to redeem himself from suggesting something your not keen on. He could be short of money, but is that such a terrible crime?

I would ask him to clarify what he means - tell him that you are too old to hang around aimlessly in parks, and was there more to his suggestion than you are aware?

ETA - I wouldn’t have a problem if the suggestion was a walk in the park for a second date, it’s the implication that you are going to just meet there and hang out at the benches that I would be objecting to.

When you suggested splitting the bill, how did he respond, initially. If he went with it straightaway, it suggest he’s a tightwad.

My 2nd date with DH was a walk on the beach. It was my suggestion. I didn't know till later he hates sand! Walking & talking was lovely.
We did end up at a cafe, then a pub for a meal later. But the original plan was just a walk, which was fine.
Last Saturday was our wedding anniversary - we were supposed to go out for a meal, but ended up with a meal deal picnic from Tesco on the beach - much more my cup of tea.
I'd go to the park quite happily.

All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal

How were they all successful if there were multiple?

Might be a good test to see how he reacts to a counter suggestion.

Tell him you're afraid it looks like rain and you'd prefer to meet for a drink or meal.

If he reacts badly or agrees but then he is moody on the date then bin him off.

@Aylestone ”I don’t think he’s going to ask you to push him on the swings” ROFL thank you, properly made me laugh. Agree with your comments.

He may just not want you to feel pressured. Do you like him or not?