To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

[LookOverHere]

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

Hes either:
skint
tight
avoiding alcohol

Kindly, sounds like he’s into the peacefulness. I think if you have such an aversion to it, maybe this date isn’t compatible with you. And by this date I mean the guy…

Sorry, but how successful can your previous relationships have been if they ended??

I wouldn’t be happy with sitting in the park either - but I can’t stand the cold. Perhaps he’s more of an outdoorsy kind of person who doesn’t mind the wind/rain?

He's read all the threads on here where women insist that the man should pay for everything on every date and he's a bit scared 😉

Quote.... " All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal."

At the risk of sounding flippant - if they'd been that successful you'd not be looking for another?

Maybe a different approach? Look at a different sort of person?

If you’ve been on a date already and you like him then I’d just go with his idea
and see what happens.

or married

😂

What's the park like? For example, the one closest to me is populated by street drinkers and looks like the set for a dystopian film but there is another one further away which has beautiful gardens, a museum, a large lake and two cafes

I'd be more comfortable in a park than in a restaurant for a second date. You don't have that awkwardness with what to say when the bill arrives. You can leave at any time if it isn't going well without any fuss. You don't have to just sit and stare at each other which is fine if things are going well but uncomfortable if not. I'd be pleased, especially if it was a lively park with lots going on and good coffee and cake.

God you think the absolute worst of people.

No.

He’ll need more than a fiver.

I'd be kind but honest - tell him you'd like to see him again, but would rather do something other than sit at the park. If he's gracious about it, and you go elsewhere then that's great. If he moans or makes passive aggressive comments, you've had a lucky escape. If he takes you somewhere else but then keeps suggesting other outings / dates which are not to your taste / focusing on doing things cheaply, he might be a nice guy but not the one for you, so I'd break things off then too. Dating is about finding these sorts of things out after all! But I wouldn't assume the worst yet. He could have just misjudged what a good date (for you) is and not checked the forecast.

Very sensible post.

exactly this

I would be delighted by this suggestion and think it bodes well

That's awful, and he didn't even offer to bring the bread for the ducks?

Perhaps he doesnt like any of those. There is plenty of people who would still prefer a walk in the park.

I agree a man shouldnt have to impress by choosing a type of date. I dont get why that isnt generally a discussion between the two people.

This is exactly what I'd do.

I'd go for a walk in the park on a first or second date (especially if the guy had a dog, then that's all I'd want to do, with my dog too. Would need to know if the dogs gelled...!) Combine it with a sit down in a cafe, and things are all very good indeed.

If he really means sit in the park talking, no refreshments, etc. I'd say no. It would feel like a weird job interview.

If it was somewhere like Richmond Park, it wouldn't be so bad, with a café where you can have coffee and cake- But a 'sit on the grass and snog'' type thing- not very enticing.

Does he mean a bench, or will he bring a picnic rug to sit on?..

I love the idea, I love nature and it's quiet and you can chat. Although I would suggest somewhere else if it's going to rain.

"All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal" But they haven't lasted so maybe it's worth being open to someone who does things differently.

If the first date was drinks and went well then the second date should be more effortful I think. If we were in the midst of a heat wave, then a picnic date in the park with good food and wine could be lovely. Coffee and a walk around what'll probably be a wet park is pretty meh. It's more of a first date quick-and-cheap meet up isn't it? 3rd date at McDonalds??