To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

[LookOverHere]

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

Has OP said she lives in London?

Whether it was in London or Mars it would still be daft to explain the park to a local. Also you were listing your objections in response to a post about London parks...

Absolutely! I didn’t anticipate a discussion like this but it’s interesting

@LookOverHere

What types of parks are near you? I think that's a very relevant question. No need to be outing, but are there any with nice features, places to have a drink or food etc? A lot of people responding have said "depends on the park".

Me personally, it's not something I'd be keen on. I'm not a park person so we wouldn't be compatible if that's something my date would like. I like hiking and country walks but I just don't enjoy parks.

It does seem low effort but if he has more planned than just sitting on a bench, it might not be. Hard to tell but please do report back!

Reply and ask which one of you is bringing the white lightening cider.

I find it a guy offers a coffee or something similar and low cost for a second date they are either seeing lots of women for second dates or they are careful with money; that's my experience. It then becomes a matter for you, going for a walk to a park and onto dinner would fit in my lifestyle, a sandwich on a park bench wouldn't. For me it would be disappointing.

I agree that these replies are really interesting.

Something that I would find a nice idea, others are absolutely horrified at.
Which is something I never would have considered and makes me nervous about OLD.

I personally want you to go on the date as is, just so you can update us! lol

I think it sounds lovely but we're all different. I couldn't be with an extravagant or high-maintenance man.

Personally I think it's the phrasing that's an issue, not necessarily the activity.
Even going for a 'walk in the park' with friends we've always stopped for a coffee or some other treat. Unless we've brought a picnic! Walking makes the conversation flow as well for some people, my husband becomes totally different on a walk 🤣

'Sit in the park' makes it sound like one of those spy shows where people sit next to each other on a bench before furtively exchanging secrets/leaving a coded newspaper behind/whatever.

However I didn't know if it was perhaps a regional phrase meaning a picnic or similar!

All of my park walks (as I'm in greater Manchester and have several beautiful ones nearby) with woodland etc have involved some thinking about routes, best places to sit and of course a rainy plan B! It's hardly just showing up empty handed and plonking ourselves down somewhere after an aimless stroll.

A restaurant would be much easier I'd just have to book and turn up.

Now I think about it, my sil says 'go for a sit in the park' as a cutesy way of saying going for an overpriced lunch at the cafe in the park.

But I am sure your SIL would not say that if inviting someone who had no idea that is what she meant.
I mean plenty of men say they are taking the dog for a walk, when they are really taking the dog to the pub. But you would not invite someone who does not know that to come for a dog walk.

Dunno, depends if you are from the same area and share local colloquial expressions?

I would not agree to a second date sitting in a park.

It's just so depressingly low effort. Hardly trying to impress you is he?

Botanic Gardens with a nice cafe and a walk? Fine.
Not so much an ordinary old park.
Maybe there is something romantic about it. Who knows. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and see how it goes.

This thread is both enlightening and depressing - it's like getting the traditional flowers/ chocolate gift v a handmade thoughtful personalised gift - some people just lack imagination and this thread just highlights it .

As in, dates in the park are imaginative? Or they're not imaginative?

I mean dates in the park can be imaginative - nice little bottle of wine, some nice food, a blanket, hell even flowers, balloons and music - instead of relying on a restaurant to provide it all is what I meant.

OP although I’m pretty sure you’re not interested in this guy by your comments, I’d be tempted to ask him what exactly he’s suggesting for the date?

His wording might be crap and he means a lovely park with a nice cafe or he might actually mean sitting on a bench but without asking you won’t know for sure.

What's the difference between a nice bottle of wine, and a few cans of cider?!

Legitimately asking. I wouldn't sit in the park with a few cans, not sure I'd sit with a bottle of wine either.

Is one more acceptable than the other?

Necking a bottle of wine in a public park somehow becomes romantic if you are sitting on a picnic blanket. But would be unacceptable on a bench.

Whatevers your tipple I suppose, I mean can you order diamond white in a restaurant? I just think I like the idea of going to the effort of organising a bit of a spread, rather than ordering from a waiter.

The OP always splits the bill. She said it in her OP.

What's the difference between a nice bottle of wine, and a few cans of cider?!

About £6

Ba-da-boom-tish

I too thought that..there are Parks..and Parks.

The sort of dog crap park where XL Bullies run unmuzzled and there is drink and drug taking {Needles strewn around} is completely different to the nicer parks - Surely he must mean the better areas? {Even then, they are plagued by van dwellers who shit in the bushes - Like on Bristol Downs {Friend lives nearby}.

Richmond Park is lovely and dogs have to be on a lead at this time of year.