To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

[LookOverHere]

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

To quote a trope regularly used on MN - have you had the exclusivity chat yet? It's a second date not undying love and wanting to spend eternity together. It's getting to know each other. Perhaps like myself he has hearing loss and a noisy restaurant is not ideal for conversation.

Personally at mid 50s if someone suggested a date in the park and the possibility of going on the swings or a roundabout I'd be up for that, the slide may be tricky but depends how wide it is. We all need some fun in our lives that is why so many people are miserable because they are expected to conform.

I’m an outdoorsy type and a fussy eater. I’d much rather have a walk in the park than having a fancy dinner. It doesn’t need to be money related.

Don’t know why everyone gets so excited on these threads. Women who are happy sitting in parks and going on walking dates can go on them. Women who enjoy getting dressed up and going to nice bars and restaurants can do that. It’s not grabby and it doesn’t make them prostitutes as insinuated by some here 🙄 In my experience men offering walking dates is usually not a good sign. Usually it’s because they’re not that interested in you, or they’re dusty, broke or mean. I wouldn’t go on this date in a million years and that’s my choice.

It's ugly to be desperate and give everything to a man who makes no effort to court you

Christ! It's a walk in the park. She's hardly being asked to "give everything". And in Jane Austin's time a walk round the garden was the perfectly gentlemanly way to court a lady.

I suppose there's not many ladies left these days. Just "fucking Queens".

And yes, he's probably going on a few first/second dates. As is the OP. Buying expensive meals should be saved for further down the line when he's sure this relationship is going somewhere. I'm sure OP isn't taking loads of men out and wining and dining them either.

There is a level of projection here that is off the charts 😂

How have we escalated a simple walk in the park to 'giving a man everything' and 'the reason society is fucked up!'

I went on a walk during my early dating days, started in Little Venice and followed the canal up through Regents Park and ended up in a lovely cafe for drinks. Found out way more about each other during that walk then during early dates.

The only 'cringe' is the level of vitriol on show because a bloke has not thrown money around at a date. Maybe an early a poster had it right, this is just a test to weed out the gold diggers and parasites.

Funny how women expect to be treated as equals in the workplace, but once they walk out the door they want to be treated like Queens and have men running around trying to make them feel special. Do they put the same amount of effort into their relationships as they expect to get from it? Why does the man have to do all the courting in this day and age? Women like that make me cringe, literally.

As for being "desperate", that's a laugh. I am the least desperate person I know - I'm not the one frantically searching for a man on dating apps 😂

I have never carried a baby - it is a choice you know - and I actually couldn't care less what anyone else gets paid. Incidentally, I had two bosses in my most recent job, a man and a woman, and believe it or not they were paid the same hourly rate. In my early married years I was paid more than my husband, who actually had a more responsible job than I did. You seem to think you know everything, sorry to break the bad news, but you DON'T. You are more delusional than I am, and be careful you don't trip on that massive chip on your shoulder.

Have you never heard of the gender pay gap? It's not really as simple as oh I earn the same as my male colleague.

Did you not read that I couldn't care less what anyone else gets paid - male or female - only what I get paid?

And yes, I have heard of the gender pay gap, doesn't mean it applies to everyone. For the hard of understanding, not all females get paid less.

Funny how women expect to be treated the same in the workplace, but want "special" treatment in the dating world - as I have already mentioned.

Well it's all got a bit incel-y hasn't it?!

I see a lot of posters men sitting in their mum's spare room are getting very angry at the idea of women having any expectations of men....and what's all this talk of queens?! 🤔oh and gold-diggers. I do find it hilarious when average blokes go on and on about women being gold diggers. I mean if you're a billionaire with a yacht and private jet, I understand. But an average guy taking a woman out for a pizza and a glass of wine...stop worrying 😂

Yes when the gender pay gap is discussed everyone understands that some women will be getting paid more than some men ..it's about a societal trend, not individuals. It's not particularly difficult...is it?

Jane Austin missed a trick here.

I haven't sat in my mum's spare room for a good many decades, and I most certainly am not a man. The queens comment came from another poster, who said "women should be treated as the fucking Queens they are", or words to that effect.

Once again, it's all about women's expectations of men - I don't hear anything about men's expectations of women, apparently they aren't supposed to have any but instead are supposed to go all out to impress.

And yet again, I couldn't give a stuff.

What makes you think my comment was aimed at you?

Absolutely hilarious that if you want to go out to an actual restaurant or a coffee shop.... you must think you're a queen. Seriously, have a word with yourself and get off social media which puts this shite in your head .

Oh and massive sympathies to any woman who is single today...best of luck. And don't expect a cappucino or a pizza....you gold diggers

Personally I wouldn't mind, but I think it's an early indication that your tastes and expectations just don't align. Move on.

There was a thread before about men suggesting a walk as a date when they were expecting sex in the bushes. I wonder if sitting in the park is another euphemism that past me by.

A stroll in the park as an introduction to go for some drinks and pizza, yes. Sitting on a bench like when I was 16, no.

I absolutely love this!!!

I think this sums it up perfectly for me,
its only date 2 and supposedly UK summer time, the bloke has offered something that is not unreasonable and would historically been seen as perfectly acceptable, the OP could easily counter it her a suggestion of her own ( I’m sure she knows how to use words)

You should ask for £15 to go on the park date

Well a particular woman could be infertile or a higher earner - how's the man to know?
Also a lot of women actively don't want kids these days , so won't get paid less (it's a motherhood penalty) what's the rationale for special treatment then

I think that’s really nice.
I’d rather go for a walk through a lovely park than go to some overpriced, bland, chain restaurant.