To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

[LookOverHere]

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

It’s a bit of a boring suggestion but if I enjoyed someone’s company I wouldn’t mind sitting in a park. At least he isn’t suggesting meeting in a hotel room during the day. Or getting drunk. I guess sitting in a park together is a simple way to get to know someone. I know what you mean though, it is not very exciting .

Nothing wrong with a walk round a nice park and a chat, I mean I would be delighted if someone offered to push me on the swings.

Even if splitting the bill the amount of dates some of my friends went through to find someone ok was huge with online dating, I see no issue.

No wonder men don’t want to date women anymore

man “do want to go on a date doing x”

woman “no I would rather sit on my arse indoors watching the telly’

men “ oh you can fuk off then “

Are you sure he's not easing you into the dogging arena, op?!

My partner asked me for a walk for our second date. Our first was drinks. I was a bit surprised as had not envisaged a day time, outdoors, completely sober date - but it was so lovely. We walked all morning and ended up at a cafe for lunch then walked all the way home again. So I would go with the park option and see what it's like.

Îd prefer a walk in the park and maybe a coffee than a meal , but Îd be a bit wary of going anywhere too secluded on a second date

Not if you aren’t drinking you don’t!

Perhaps ducks are very important to him, and he wants to see how you react in an encounter with ducks before he can commit to taking this further.

🦆

I'm thinking that maybe this bloke is suggesting this date to weed out people like you! I reckon this poor guy would be really confused by all the accusations on this thread; (he's a tight cider drinking dogger, perhaps with either a dog or a duck that he's overly fond of, who doesn't make an effort).

Love the pp idea of him being a secret millionaire, it sounds like a 90s rom con.

Whatever you think of this date, I feel like you have to go now to report back. Please say you will.

I would far rather sit in a park than have a "romantic" meal. What's so romantic about sitting somewhere eating food?

Christ knows. Don't know why all those restaurants bother being open. It's not like anyone ever goes into them on dates. Why would they, when they could get some fruit cider and a twosies by the duckpond.

I always find it amusing on here that those who are quick to label someone tight or a skinflint are the same people who refuse to open their purse at all let alone going Dutch.

I think so too.

Can you not understand that not everyone is the same as you? I don't need to "raise my bar" thank you, and would be more than happy sitting in the park. I actually don't see how eating - which is something we all have to do - is such a wildly romantic thing to do, and would rather get to know someone without an audience of diners/drinkers.

Some of you are really lacking in anything approaching imagination if you have such fixed ideas of what a date consists of.

Yep, this.

I often go to restaurants, they are generally full of people who have gone there to eat a meal with family or friends. Only a few of them are on dates.

Once again a poster lacking in imagination - do you really think that is why people go to parks

Exactly.

It's just seen as effort because it generally means the man pays for it all.

Effort doesn't have to involve spending money.

Sorry but what?

I don’t think it is that bad, but not exactiy overwhelming. I think say weather not looking great, prob better inside.

Yeah true, some people go there for the slides and swings. Five year-olds, mostly.

Thanks everyone - valid points made & lots of food for thought. I really like parks! There’s just a whole range of experiences that this could encompass. He hasn’t confirmed the park. Will bring my own cider and B&H just in case… I shall report back!

Depends on the park is it a big park nice to walk around. We have a local Victorian park it's beautiful just to walk around and have an ice-cream. We still go now even though DC are young adults. There's an outdoor gym now as well good fun.

Why do dates need to be overwhelming or grand gestures? Why the expectation of him to spend money? Your literally just getting to know each other. Whether you're a teenagers or 60 that part of dating is still the same.

Sounds like you're not bothered @LookOverHere . I'd tell him you're not feeling it and it's best to not prolong it. He'll find someone he's more compatible with, and you'll find someone to bring you on those romantic dinners.

(Although excellent point from the poster above about eating not being exactly romantic!)