Sister stole her flatmate’s deposit

[Huhy]

Sister just completed her final year at university in London.

Sister lived with an international student in a one bed flat - they converted living room for 2nd bedroom in Central London. They were friends and course mates prior to living together. Sister had an absolute nightmare with this flatmate but I think it is no excuse. So sister and flatmate got an email saying that only £400 of their deposit was being returned due to the state the flat was left in. Sister left the flat in March, tenancy ended in June. Sister left to come home as she was very stressed with dissertation and exams/sick of flatmate. Before she left she completely cleaned her bedroom. She agreed with flatmate to go halves on an end of tenancy clean.

Landlord came back and said the carpet in her flatmates room and her bed were ruined and therefore needed replacing. Sister texted friend saying well seeing as that is all your stuff, I think I’m entitled to the full remaining deposit. Flatmate said no, we’ll split. My sister was distraught as she took care of her room and the common areas as she knew she needed the deposit for her masters.

When I say my sister lived with a pig I am not exaggerating. Sister sent us pictures of their kitchen after she returned from Easter. The ENTIRE floor in their small kitchen had piled up bags of takeaway bags. It was shocking. Flatmate paid for a cleaner to pick up her shit. The other girl also had difficulty turning off the shower and would just leave it - causing damage to the flat below. Another time my sister picked up a towel that had been on the floor in bathroom for weeks and the other girl replied with “haha I can’t believe you touched that, that was a cum towel”. She would also routinely make my sister go with her to get the morning after pill whilst on her period - always thought she was pregnant. Trust me I know her being a nightmare does not justify theft.

Anyway sister figured out that their deposit had not been secured as she questioned the LL’s ability to unilaterally take whatever amount he wanted. The other girl was happy to walk away from the lost deposit. My sister told landlord to pay both deposits into her account as her flatmate has shut hers down. Well that was a lie.

Sister was immature and rubbed it in her flatmates face that she had her money. The flatmate has gone back to her home country (very well off). I got a message from the girl asking me to help. I’m shocked my sister acted this way, very uncharacteristic. Sister in fact has actually given the money to another friend who was struggling to pay her last month’s rent (I have seen texts and bank statements as evidence of this).

Im at a loss. Pleas tell me what to do!

To summarise
Each flatmate paid £1200 each deposit so £2400 in total.
LL was only intending to return £400 out of the £2400.
LL had not placed deposit in correct type of account and so had to return the full deposit.
Sister lied to get all the money by saying flatmate had shut down their bank account so to pay it all to her.
Sister is thief and flatmate will likely sue her - rich people are rich because they make sure they keep what is there's.
In the eyes of the law everything else is irrelevant.
There are absolutely no racial undertones directed to you and your posts were a bit muddled, although you have clarified.
You have no obligation to be involved in this - your sister is an adult. Your parents do not need to be involved either. Irrespective of what your first language is.

Block her on all accounts. Block emails and phones.

Not your circus not your monkeys. Let your sister deal with it.

Block flatmate and you are not your sister's parent
If they have a problem then they need to deal with her

And I think the flatmate has got away with murder frankly

No you don't

Your sister's morals are her business

So say No

I would say
At end of tenancy
Sister. Friend
Lost 1000 lost 1000

But the loss of 1000 of sisters money seems entirely due to friend.

They got back full 2400. But that was a technicality and friend in fact owed for the damage.

Sister theb spent x hours of own time and CAB time to recover her own £1k. If you assume £10 an hour that maybe up to over £100 etc.

Obviously sister should not have got the extra 1k. But also friend had already kost it to landlord.
Currently sister doesnt have it so morally seems about right..
Bear in mind the landlofprt wanted to take £2k for damage. So if they hadnt recovered any the £400 should have been sisters money. With friend owing sister £800... I dont see the friend offering that money at that point..

If sister had instead challenged landlord that say he should have paid her back her deposit in full or that the damage wasnt hers then the friend would be down £1200.

Would ister have been able to small claims friend for damage etc causong loss of deposit.?

This is nothing to do with you.

Your sister made a call which in this matter I think was fair enough actually since she caused none of the damage. I think she was stupid to rub it in the ex flatmates face though. That was just asking to start something. You need to block all the people contacting you as it's not your issue to resolve. It was your sisters decision to give the money to another friend when she needed it for her masters. She needs to grow up and learn how to handle boundaries with other people and you can't fix this for her or she won't learn that lesson.

Next time your parents talk to you about it, remind them that it's not your job to parent her. That you've said your piece and the rest is up to her.

I think that, since you have told your sister what you think, and that she should return the money, that should be the end of your obligations in this matter, @Huhy.

I think you have every right to tell your parents it is their job not yours to parent their child, and you won't be dealing with this any more, and then tell the flatmate that it is not your responsibility to deal with this matter, and you will be blocking her now. She can deal directly with your sister.

And for what it's worth, I thought your posts were perfectly clear.

Your sister was entitled to double her deposit as it was not protected, that's what she got, if the other girl wants her deposit back she can ask the landlord for it.

So you sister got 1200 back for the other flatmate and kept it? That's a bit much to be honest. Minus what was paid for cleaning how much should the other flatmate have got back?

Because we are supposed to help our younger relatives to think about what they are doing/have done, so they don't make mistakes. The sister has the option of making an arrangement to pay her back. The OP can then say to the parents that she's tried, but it's done now.

Actually I don't understand the maths so it's not possible to advise.

Did your sister gift £1200 to her other friend who was short on rent or loan it? If it was a loan can she not sort a repayment plan? If it was a gift then she made a big mistake.

Your original post was confusing. Your sister deserves credit for getting the whole deposit back but in the end the flatmate‘s messiness didn’t cost her. Even for rich people £1200 is a lot more than £400 - yo it sis would have got away with it if she hadn’t told the flatmate she’d got it all back. But she did.

Wow. Your sis is a piece of work. So she just doesnt steal but also identifies vulnerability and takes advantage of that? I dare say, she is racist/xenophobic too (so she obviously wouldnt do this to a fellow Brit who speaks English?)

By the way, if girl only speaks Mandarin how did she navigate UK and how is she sending you messages? You sis is something else but you still need to walk away from this.

Don’t worry OP, your posts are fine.

As soon as you mention you are not from the UK or that English in not your first language, some posters on MN always immediately become rude for no reason. Even though their own reading skills and grammar should be perfect then by their logic being British and all. I see it happen every time I mention it, and find it quite interesting. They just lash out at the strangest things, and seem to think that all cultures should be like in the UK.

But yeah, you do need to ignore your parents and walk away from this. I assume you are the eldest?

Dear OP, it was easy to understand what you wrote and you are right, some of the people have no comprehension (or basic reading) skills at all. Don't get involved, your sister is an adult and should take responsibility for her actions. You and your parents are not going to be affected by any legal actions against her, as she is over the age of 18, she will be fully responsible.
PS: But I do understand why your sister has done it, it's like her punishment to her roommate for all the mess/problems she was forced to live with as her roommate didn't give a sh...t about her, as the roommate thought it would be zero consequences and you sister had no choice... now she got consequences and she is not happy

This thread is crazy.
Regardless of the flatmates behaviour your sister has stolen her money and should pay it back.

What are you going to do to make your sister give up the money?

There's nothing you can do that hasn't already been tried, she doesn't want to and isn't going to.

No, you don't

But in the end, your sister wasn't out-of-pocket for the mess the flatmate left behind. However horrible the shared tenancy business was, in the end both deposits were returned.
So yes, she absolutely should have returned the £1200 and had absolutely no business donating that money to someone else, masquerading as some sort of benevolent angel, when the money wasn't hers to give.

@saraclara I’m aware of that.

By the way, if girl only speaks Mandarin how did she navigate UK and how is she sending you messages?

@GingerScallop I was confused by this also.

Then you're done.

You can't have a moral obligation to do something whilst also not having the power to do it. Giving your sister your opinion, which she is free to ignore, is as much as she can do here.

Do nothing. Not your problem.