Sister stole her flatmate’s deposit

[Huhy]

Sister just completed her final year at university in London.

Sister lived with an international student in a one bed flat - they converted living room for 2nd bedroom in Central London. They were friends and course mates prior to living together. Sister had an absolute nightmare with this flatmate but I think it is no excuse. So sister and flatmate got an email saying that only £400 of their deposit was being returned due to the state the flat was left in. Sister left the flat in March, tenancy ended in June. Sister left to come home as she was very stressed with dissertation and exams/sick of flatmate. Before she left she completely cleaned her bedroom. She agreed with flatmate to go halves on an end of tenancy clean.

Landlord came back and said the carpet in her flatmates room and her bed were ruined and therefore needed replacing. Sister texted friend saying well seeing as that is all your stuff, I think I’m entitled to the full remaining deposit. Flatmate said no, we’ll split. My sister was distraught as she took care of her room and the common areas as she knew she needed the deposit for her masters.

When I say my sister lived with a pig I am not exaggerating. Sister sent us pictures of their kitchen after she returned from Easter. The ENTIRE floor in their small kitchen had piled up bags of takeaway bags. It was shocking. Flatmate paid for a cleaner to pick up her shit. The other girl also had difficulty turning off the shower and would just leave it - causing damage to the flat below. Another time my sister picked up a towel that had been on the floor in bathroom for weeks and the other girl replied with “haha I can’t believe you touched that, that was a cum towel”. She would also routinely make my sister go with her to get the morning after pill whilst on her period - always thought she was pregnant. Trust me I know her being a nightmare does not justify theft.

Anyway sister figured out that their deposit had not been secured as she questioned the LL’s ability to unilaterally take whatever amount he wanted. The other girl was happy to walk away from the lost deposit. My sister told landlord to pay both deposits into her account as her flatmate has shut hers down. Well that was a lie.

Sister was immature and rubbed it in her flatmates face that she had her money. The flatmate has gone back to her home country (very well off). I got a message from the girl asking me to help. I’m shocked my sister acted this way, very uncharacteristic. Sister in fact has actually given the money to another friend who was struggling to pay her last month’s rent (I have seen texts and bank statements as evidence of this).

Im at a loss. Pleas tell me what to do!

Sister doesn’t believe flatmate is organised enough to deal with lawyers whilst she is in her home country. And for £1200, after lawyers fee, the parents will realise it is not worth the expense.

I have told my sister that is her gamble to make. But I will not be bailing her out neither will our parents (they probably would though if it got to that point)

I've only just woken up and still bleary eyed and I can still understand the amounts involved! Why are people finding it so difficult to understand 🤣

OP - you can't make your sister do anything so I'm not sure what else you can do to get your parents off your back tbh

Flatmate would win, so there'll be no lawyer cost to the parents. Your sister would have to pay their costs.

The small claims court is easy to navigate. It's no huge thing for flatmate and parents to have to do if they just want the money back.

If they want your sister prosecuted for theft, that's another thing

I do take it personally when people insult my communication skills when the issue is more with the individuals inability to read/comprehend.

Well she’s hoping people who only speak Mandarin won’t bother engaging the UK legal system. And flatmate struggles with taps so won’t be able to take the lead.

Well let's hope they don't take unlawful action via contacts here. Do they know where your sister lives now?

You are keen to insert yourself into this drama that has nothing at all to do with you.Your sister is an adult- remind your parents, her ex-flatmate and your sister of that and tell them it is not your business at all and you want to hear no more about it.

I think it is bad karma to steal. I have told sister my thoughts.

The extraneous stuff about the MAP is meaningless.Yes, your sister is wrong to retain the half of the deposit that isn't hers and stupid to taunt the ex flatmate with it. None of that makes it your problem, she is a grown woman and (excuse me if my assumption is wrong) presumably speaks the same first language as your parents, so I don't see why they can't communicate with her directly.

You asked for advice on what to do. The consensus (misunderstandings about £400 etc aside) seems to be that you should tell your parents that you're not getting involved and block the ex flatmate on all platforms.

I think it’s fair enough. Flat mate sounds like a nightmare to live with. I can see why full deposits weren’t returned!

I would ignore your parents and the flat mate. It’s not your problem

The comprehension thing people complain comes from the fact the original post doesn't mention how much money was actually stolen making us believe it was £400 or half of that. Now it's clear it was £1200 which is somewhat a large sum and makes a difference. If the friend is rich she can sue at her loss just to make a point. She can report theft to the police and this won't cost her anything. That can later on mess up with your sister's application for UK nationality if she hasn't got one yet and plans to apply.
In my mind she's got two options: 1. Do nothing wait to see what happens

1. Ask the other friend to return the money she gave her and return the money

OP, As the mum of 4 children who’ve all been international students over the years my advice to you is to block your sisters ex flatmate and leave your sister to sort her own mess out.

one last thing though - who only speaks Mandarin?

Who only speaks mandarin? Billions of people. Including flatmates parents

Op, what do you think of backing off completely and leaving your sister to sort it out herself?

Time to send a message to your sister saying the following:
Hi sis - I'm no longer going to be involved in your dispute with X (former flatmate). You had £1200 of her money and she is entitled to that money back. You need to take whatever steps are necessary to transfer the money to X so that this matter can be considered closed. I've said my bit and now it's up to you. Please do not involve me again in your dealings. @Huhy

You also need to send a message to your parents saying the following:
Hi parents - I've spoken with Sis and told her that she needs to sort the matter out between her and X and leave us out of it. It's not our issue to resolve. Please don't involve me again in Sister's affairs and dealings. It's not my place to be involved as she is an adult herself. @Huhy

Last but not least, you send one message to X (Sister's former flatmate) saying the following:
Hi X, I have spoken with Sis and advised her to contact you directly so taht you can sort out whatever issues remain between you both. Please stop contacting me on social media or by any other means as you can deal directly with Sis going forwards. If you continue to contact me, I will consider that harassment and take the next steps to prevent that. @Huhy

Wash your hands of the whole mess entirely!

The full deposits have been returned.

If the flatmate reports it to the police and/or university, it could cost your sister her masters place. She might want to rethink.

Block her and tell your parents its nothing to do with you

It's nothing to do with your parents or you. Message back girl she must deal with your sister. Then block.

The Landlord was wrong not to protect the deposit and your sister may have been able to claim from him for that.

The Landlord was wrong not to speak to them individually to obtain each of their bank details to return the deposit.

Your sister was wrong to steal the deposit.

Having done that, your sister was then very stupid to tell the other girl what she had done

You just need to walk away from it. Stand up to your parents and tell them that it is her mess and she needs to sort it out. Tell your sister that if she gets into trouble then its her own fault.

Block this girl and just move one, as it really is nothing to do with you no matter what your parents say/want.

Just stay out of it. None of this is your problem to deal with. The only possible outcome is that you harm your relationship with your sister.

She already knows the possible consequences of what she's done, let her live with them.

Did your sister give the money to you to pay rent, and that is why the flatmate is harassing you?

Well the landlord is the loser in this, unfortunately it may have been an oversight and not meaningful by not protecting the deposts, as this can be done at a minimal cost, it may not have been with malice.

Your sister took advantage of this, she was also angry for not causing any damgage herself but I would take this with a pinch of salt that she did not create any cleaning to be done, she just abscondered and left all that to her flatmate.

The flatmate was a nightmare, she was prepared to lose her deposit but unexpectedly your sister managed to obtain the full deposit back. Not very kind, and even though the flatmate should have had deductions, they were deductions your sister should not have benefitted from.

Now the money she has in her bank, is that for a deposit that she has not yet paid for with her master's accomodation? Has she found a place to rent already because if it it is with an agent, they may want references (and not her parents address) they will want her previous landlords references, and good luck with that because he will give a terrible reference.

It could also affect her further down the line as some want previous addresses goingback years.

Your sister sounds an unfair woman, I wouldn't get involved if I were you, if this flatmate decided to prosecute, it could also bring your families address into the equasion, if legal action is pursued.

The flatmate maybe a nightmare tennant and live a chaotic life but your sister has poor morals who lies, cheats and steals....

I know which one I'd rather live with, employ or be friends with.

Maybe because the full details of the full amount were disclosed in a drip feed only on the 8th post?

The £400 mentioned in the first post is a red herring. No idea why that salient information wasn't in the first post.

Then leave it at that and wash your hands of any further involvement.
Not getting involved is the advice people keep giving you and you’re refusing to take it on board, even though you came here to ask what you should do.