Is there any point of losing weight?

[Thanksforreading]

So DD just turned 3, I’ve struggled with losing weight via c section since getting pregnant. Before pregnancy I was 50kg and I’m 5’3 tall, I’m now 76kg and struggling to eat less, I don’t eat unhealthy, but I follow meals with my toddler on three meals and two snacks. The issue is we would like another baby but DH wants me to lose the weight and be slimmer before we start trying at the end of this year. In my eyes I don’t believe I’m overweight, I just feel like I was too skinny before and he thinks that’s normal. I don’t know should I lose weight before trying for another baby or do that after the next baby? I just feel like it’s such a waste of effort if I’m going to put all the weight on again when pregnant.

Where are you getting your information from?

Its more like it applies to 90% of the population, its not going to apply to rugby players and weight lifters and the like, thats all

Weight isn't about looks it's about health

It's not equivalent to asking someone to dye their hair - it's closer to asking someone to give up smoking or reduce alcohol intake

And then we wonder why there is an obesity problem in the UK.

Just about everyone who is long term obese will cause problems for themselves, their loved ones and the NHS long term.

I once worked in a bar where the landlady was an obese woman. She carried it very well and seemed to be healthy, if very large. Then one busy night she tripped and fell. What would have been a minor fall for someone of a healthy weight completely broke her and had her in and out of hospital for years.

I agree. A lot of people are in denial or just don't want to face facts.

My BMI is still under 25, my waist to height ratio is 0.89 and my hip to waist ratio is 0.73, but I still need to lose some fat off my abdomen.

BMI is a simple tool that gives a good guideline, but it isn't the only tool. Denying that it is useful is not helpful.

I have not RTFT but I’m the same height. Of course people have different bone structure but at 76 kilo I would definitely look overweight/obese, but I’m petite.

It’s always worth losing weight if you are overweight, for health reasons. Getting pregnant while overweight increases your risk of gestational diabetes and other complications and will put a lot of strain on your pelvic floor. Excess weight also affects your fertility.

I would not dismiss your DH as unkind because a 26 kg difference between your pre-pregnancy weight and your current weight is a lot. Putting on this much weight doesn’t suggest healthy eating habits. In the long run it can negatively impact your health so it’s not just an issue of conforming to some societal beauty standards.

Yes there is. You’re carrying less weight so less pressure on back and joints. Less risk of gestational diabetes.

Not every pregnancy is the same and you might not put the weight on to the same extent.

Lose the weight. It’s worth it.

This is why there are so many obesity related health problems in the uk. People are in complete denial. Unless you're an athlete it is fairly accurate or at least a good guideline

Nobody is saying that. Loads of overweight women are extremely pretty! However, OP has put on 4 stone in 4 less than years; from a very slim woman to bordering obese. It would be very noticeable to anyone who knows her; very different to if the weight had crept up over a couple of decades.

In terms of health, OP is not heavy; the worry would be if she gains the same again with another pregnancy. I also wonder if the people criticising the DH would really be so happy if their partner had put on 4 stone in 4 years.

I disagree. But then clearly I am in the minority. My BMI is bullshit. Everyone I knows is bullshit. So I can’t be convinced

Do it for you, unless there has been advice from your doctor to the contrary.
Its your body but if you've lost the weight before after your other children, then I'm sure you will again. For your height , you are perhaps a bit on the heavier side. But if you look fine, and you feel fine then try not to be coerced .

medical

It anything I think BMI is more likely to tell women that they are a healthy weight when actually they could do with losing some weight, and to tell men that they are overweight when actually they are perfectly healthy, because men generally have more muscle mass than women do. The impact of height will also exacerbate this, because taller people are likely to have bigger muscles. So if you're a petite woman who doesn't do weightlifting and your BMI says you are overweight or obese, you really are.

What does that even mean? All BMI is, is a height weight ratio; the taller you are, the more you can weigh without being overweight. Seems pretty obvious to me.

Where are you getting the part about her losing weight after her other children from? It sounds like she only has the one child.

The OP says she has rolls and her belly, thighs and bum are heavy. It's clear there is an issue without even looking at bmi.

Yes. I'm at the top end of a healthy BMI and definitely have belly fat I need to lose.

When not pregnant I tipped the scales at a BMI of 25 exactly and I looked and felt like a blob. And I'm taller than the OP.

Being able to carry more weight doesn’t mean you are healthy though. Someone carrying the same weight at 5,8 as I do at 5,5 does not necessarily have a healthier lifestyle than I do

That sounds like a very coherent and evidenced based argument. Well done

I mean, I don’t need to make a valid argument - you can do your own research. I’m not Google.

Unless she is severely misrepresenting them, everyone in OP's life is saying that. They haven't mentioned her health, just said she should lose weight because she looks fat. There's been nothing about him joining her in finding and cooking healthy recipes, taking the child so she can exercise etc.

It doesn't mean she shouldn't lose weight but a bodyshamer isn't a supportive lover and it isn't the route to success.

Being a healthy weight is very important when TTC, carrying and giving birth to a baby.

It is also easier to lose 10lbs now and 10lbs after the next baby, then trying to lose 20mins after the next baby with 2 kids.

However, you should take the BMI result with a pinch of salt, as these are just a rough guideline.

Perhaps focus on getting more exercise and eating a nutritious diet, rather than just worrying about losing weight.

If you are happy with your size and you’re not unhealthily overweight, then just focus on being healthy and don’t worry about your size.

I dont need to do any research, Im happy to accept a ratio calculation for height to weight, that is used by medical professionals around the world is generally, for the most part, good enough.

You've come onto a thread citing its not good enough and OP, who is at least 4 stone overweight, isnt really overweight and its all bullshit. So if you want to back up your claims, then do so. Otherwise why mention it.

Saying someone looks fat just means they look like they are carrying excess fat on their body. It's not bodyshaming. Unless someone knows her weight or waist measurement, then they can only go by how she looks. If you can see rolls around the midsection when someone is standing, for example, then you are seeing excess fat.

I think, op, you might need to rely on something slightly more scientific than “what dress size am I in M&S?”

Bring overweight (and you Are very close to obese) is bad for anyone, at any time, let alone a pregnant woman. The fact that you carry your weight round your middle is an even worse indicator.

I speak as an overweight woman who carries her weight round her middle so this is no preaching post. I’m working on it.

M&S have a serious issue with vanity sizing. There sizes are huge

I'm a bit heavier than Op carrying most of my weight on my belly and bum. Guaranteed size 16 in M&S

I bought a 16 shirt style dress from Next / Fatface it's pulling at top. Really I should return it for an 18. But...I don't want to go up another size. Can I drop enough to fit comfortably in it in 4 weeks???

We all know carrying extra weight isn't good, either looks or health. But we also know it's rude to comment.

Ops DH has a point, whichever way you look at it. Maybe the answer is they have a pact to get fitter and healthier together. Easier to get the steps in and the motivation to go to the gym if you have someone to go with you.