Is there any point of losing weight?

[Thanksforreading]

So DD just turned 3, I’ve struggled with losing weight via c section since getting pregnant. Before pregnancy I was 50kg and I’m 5’3 tall, I’m now 76kg and struggling to eat less, I don’t eat unhealthy, but I follow meals with my toddler on three meals and two snacks. The issue is we would like another baby but DH wants me to lose the weight and be slimmer before we start trying at the end of this year. In my eyes I don’t believe I’m overweight, I just feel like I was too skinny before and he thinks that’s normal. I don’t know should I lose weight before trying for another baby or do that after the next baby? I just feel like it’s such a waste of effort if I’m going to put all the weight on again when pregnant.

Yes, this.
I'm sorry, OP, in my opinion you would be better off to lose the weight and have just your three year old for now.
Then instead of having another, setting yourself up to leave your husband.
I'm sure at the end of it some of your weight would go naturally and you would feel much better about everything.
Extreme, I know.
I don't know how old you are, I'm 45, in addition
I have no kids.
Cannot imagine my husband telling me to lose weight, though, even if necessary.
He could stick that right where the ☀️ don't shine.

Size 10 clothes means absolutely nothing. There is no standardisation in woman's clothing. A size 10 will be completely different for every shop. The facts are she weighs 76kg at 5 foot 3. This is a kg under being obese.

It’s not clear from the OP how it was framed by her DH but from a health point of view, it’s not ideal going into pregnancy carrying an additional 26kg.

I mean I’m a size ten at marks and Spencer’s

Hate to say it but their sizing is awful and not an indication of being slim/healthy or whatever.
I’m a size 10 with a bmi of 18.6. I weigh under 9 stone and am really slim and even a size 6 in M&S were too big for me recently!
From a health perspective for yourself and your next pregnancy, losing the weight now would be beneficial. It would also be a lot harder to do once you have added more weight on from a second pregnancy too.

Me too! I'm 5'4" and 60kg and I'm a size 10 at M&S so I don't know how you are at an inch shorter and 16kg heavier!

That's a high weight for someone so small and although I suspect you were underweight before at 50kg, a 26kg gain is a lot.

Got you pregnant?

Presumably they decided to have a child together

She is fat, adipose, overweight, whatever word you want to use. She is nearly in the obese category. Its a medical category, not a judgement, you dont have to pretend someone doesnt have a condition when they do.

I wonder if your weight is wrong? In the kindest way, I can't imagine you could be a size 10 given your height and weight.

It's a hard one because I would feel the same as you. What's the point in losing all the weight just to put it back on during pregnancy.

It's shit your husband has brought this up, but I guess he's worried about your health/doesn't want you to gain any more weight (which would obviously be really horrible to hear), but I suppose at least he's being honest with you before it gets out of hand.

Personally, I would try for a baby and then sort it all out after.

Hate to say it but their sizing is awful and not an indication of being slim/healthy or whatever.

Dress sizing has never been a measure of a healthy weight. BMI is how it's defined. It doesn't apply perfectly to everyone but unless you're really uncommonly tall, short of muscular, it's a pretty good rule of thumb. The fact that so many people value dresss size over actual health measures shows what the priority is.

Which is fine for a person's own choices for themselves. But not fine for other people to harp because they don't like how you look. Especially if they aren't offering to help you.

I’m sane height and weight as you. I’m a size 14/16. Obviously it’s totally your call - I’m menopausal now so tricky to lose weight but it is definitely overweight.

How can you be a size 10? Do you have big boobs?
My BMI is spot on and I’m a size 12.

Chances are you are not eating as healthy as you think or you wouldn’t be overweight. For me I have to exercise a lot and eat healthy (low carb) to even maintain my weight.

Make some small changes, exercise more, cut out the snacks and you will probably lose weight.

If you lose 13kgs (2 stone), you will only just land down into the healthy BMI range OP. You could do this healthily in 7 months ish, if you choose to do this. You need to decide what you personally feel happy with. I wouldn't advise leaving any efforts until after another baby, whatever you decide to aim for, as you are likely to find yourself stuck in the obese category long term, with further pregnancy gain.

You are nearly obese and as others said vanity sizing means a size 10 M&S is meaningless. I can’t comment on your relationship but your husband wanting you to lose weight isn’t necessarily coming from a bad place. We all want to be attracted to our partners. Get a grip now before the excess weight is entrenched. Stop finishing your kids meals. Look at ways you can move more, aim for 10000 steps a day. Good luck.

I’m 5’6” and 76kg and I’m definitely overweight. It is hard to lose it though (unless you’re really working your butt off to do it). I think I’ll do much better once my son goes to Uni this year as I’ll no longer buy tempting ‘treats’.

Putting aside some people’s it’s not fat it’s curves mindset being overweight is not kind on the organs, blood pressure or joints. This, more than the visuals is what I have to focus on in my quest to lose weight.

Fat will just keep creeping up if ignored and the next thing you know it’ll be be 80kg on the scales. It sucks but it’s fact.

Yes, the sizing.
Completely from another bucket, but it's crazy.
I'm 173/66 and a solid size 12 with big boobs.
🙄

I started my first pregnancy at 74kg and my second at 61.... the second pregnancy was far easier.

I think this is very true. I see a lot of pears who look quite thin because they tend to have thinner faces and upper body. So through winter, for instance, when they have on coats etc ( or even floaty skirts in summer) they give a slimmer impression. But catch them in a pair of jeans or shorts and you can be very surprised. Apples tend to actually look heavier than they really are.

Maybe because OP is a whisker away from being obese, and he cares about her, and the example she’s setting for DC? The danger of a high risk pregnancy due to being obese?

Check your scales are accurate before totally trusting the bmi score.

Is it just the snacking that has meant you put weight on? It’s a lot of weight just due to snacks in 3 years, has there been a big change in your activity levels too? Has any weight come off since the baby, or has it continued to go on?
I guess it’s important to think about how a further pregnancy would influence your weight, even though you’re happy at the weight you are now, I’m assuming you don’t want to put on a further 20Kg with the next baby. Good luck!

So am I.
I'm a similar height, a lighter weight and I'm a size 16 usually, sadly.

But why? Just to be able to say you're a size 10. Surely it's more about how you look/feel in the clothes.

Vanity sizing is a slippery slope.

I also blame Beautiful South for the size 10 obsession.

I don't know why the husband gets so much hate on this thread. OP is in the overweight almost obese category, so she almost certainly does 'look fat'. Losing weight gets harder with each year of your life, especially if you have two young children to look after. I wouldn't put off getting slimmer; there are many good reasons to start now OP.

Thank you.
That sums it up, and politely.

The fashion for oversized clothing does make the sizing quite meaningless.
I'm 5ft 4, 10st 6 and a size 14 on my measurements. I could probably wear a 10 in some styles and shops.

@Thanksforreading goodness me you're getting quite the pile on when nobody on this thread knows your ethnicity or exercise regime. The BMI calculator is tosh in any case and designed for European white men (surprise, surprise). If you choose to lose weight though this should be a choice you make purely on how you feel rather than a bunch of strangers on the Internet telling you there is no way you're buying the clothes size you are or the thoughts of your DH potentially guised in concerns around your health. Has he had a full health MOT recently? If not maybe he needs one so he can focus on his own health before trying for a baby. If you do decide to loose the waist to hip ratio is a more reliable gauge but this should be your decision alone. www.abc.net.au/news/2022-01-02/the-problem-with-the-body-mass-index-bmi/100728416

You sound like an apple shape.

M&S sizes are huge. I used to get clothes from there but can’t after they increased all their sizes and now their smallest size no longer fits me.