To feel poor even though we earn well?

[erte]

We live in London and have to for our jobs. Even though we earn what most people would consider a very good household income, maybe top 5% nationally, we still feel poor.

Yes we can afford rent but can’t afford much more than a one bed and save. Whereas if you told me 10 years ago how much I would earn, I’d have imagined a far more comfortable existence.

You and 90% of the population. Unfortunately.

Yep - story of my life. If I disclosed my income I’d be told I was out of line and too rich, blah blah, but we’ve been on one holiday in the past 4 years, had the same car for 10 years and my clothes are all primark from 3 years ago… At 21, I thought my salary would by my a Porsche!

The London trap.
If you have to live in London then you just have to accept that you dont actually earn as much as you think you do.

I feel you OP. Our combined income is £80k pre tax. Once you take out our mortgage, which nearly doubled a couple of years ago, and our childcare bill of £1100 for three days a week we are not in anyway near where I thought we'd be financially. Haven't had a holiday, UK or abroad since 2018 and are noticing how tight it gets if any unexpected spending occurs. Not trying to cry poverty as appreciate lots have it worse, but equally for two people who really ploughed into careers telling ourselves it would mean financial security... We are far from it.

It’s tax that’s crippling us.

sent too soon!

meant to say, it’s the high earners tax that crippling us. As soon as we went into that bracket, we noticed a massive shift in what we can afford

Many people are in that situation unfortunately.
I feel like we're heading towards everyone having the same disposable income no matter what you earn. Maybe in a couple of decades that's what we'll have.

Nope it's stupid high housing and childcare costs

If decent homes could be bought for 3 times the median income ... 100k like they used to be then you would be rolling in it

Doubtful. You're always better off earning more (with the slight exception of amounts slightly over £100k) even if that's taxed at 40% because it's not like the whole thing gets taxed at 40%. You can't possibly be worse off, eg, at 40k plus 5k taxed at 40% versus just 40k.

If you're talking about the 100k issue, then isn't it only an issue for about the first 10k over 100k, so it can easily be resolved by working slightly less (better off in time), higher pension contributions (so better off) etc or just holding on until you increase out of it (unlikely that many are stuck at exactly £101k for long).

Either way, I can't understand a massive shift in what you could afford.

Don't think anyone can really vote without you putting figures on 'earn well'.

This makes no sense.

Have I misunderstood your op?

You are in the top 5% earning bracket and yet you feel poor?

The word poor means something. It depends on which country you live in, etc but it's generally taken in the UK (which is a rich country) to mean when you have to choose whether to eat or heat your home. Or when you choose which of your children will get to wear shoes that fit them. Or when you decide whether to put money in the electricity meter or pay your phone bill.

Do you get my drift?

Because if high earners are "poor" then what are the rest of us? Megapoor? Ultrapoor?

Just be considerate of who you are complaining to! Speaking from past experience - having someone who earns 5x what you do complaining to you about how tough it is makes you angry.

Also - if this is you long term, might be worth reconsidering your career choices. You need to factor in retirement savings potential (I’m not in the UK and in my country this is linked to your income for compulsory savings) - but you might have a more comfortable life in lower paying jobs in another part of the country.

My experience is that there’s a lot of talk when you’re young about earning potential of different careers - but the cost of the career is often glossed over. If your earn eg 90k but have to live in a place that costs 36k in rent, plus higher child care, commuting costs, insurances, etc not to mention expressive dress codes, professional memberships/certifications etc you might be better off overall in a 40-50k job in a cheaper area. Just be mindful that you can lock yourself into cheaper areas and not be able to upgrade - but you can have a better life (you can also not, doing the sums and factoring career growth etc in is critical)

Yes YABU you are not poor, “you feel poor” fgs you have no idea. Do you have to use a food bank to feed yourself and your children, and can’t afford to put your heating on. Do you live in fear of a major appliance breaking down cause there is no way you could afford to replace it, You should meet some of the clients I work with they are actually poor, you are just moaning.

Sorry OP I know what you’re getting at but this isn’t going to go well for you.

It's just London property. It's so expensive you feel poor - buy in the suburbs, 25 minute trains into work and much calmer pace at home

Yes we can afford rent but can’t afford much more than a one bed and save.

Do you mean you put a lot away in savings?

It's purely living in London....

We have a combined income of 60k....I go on annual cruises, and I've a 4 bed house with a garden and can cover childcare Move to a cheaper area if you can!

Yes it does. I said, to us, as in my family. Which you know nothing about. So it does make sense to us. Hope that helps

The acid test is how much income you have after rent has been paid. If you're in the top 5% of earners, London rent notwithstanding, I rather suspect you're not doing too badly.at all. And unequivocally not poor.

You won't get sympathy here but I totally understand what you mean.

Me and my DH earn quite well and live in London. We only have a small 2 bed terrace house and an almost 10 year old car. I find these types of posts quite tasteless and boring though when many people can barely afford bills and food and there's people moaning who are on 100k.

We feel poor because we are poor. Please excuse me if I don't crack out the world's tiniest violin and play you a tune.

You'll get slated for this, but we are the same.

In our 50s, thought we'd be good once childcare wasn't an issue. But our mortgage went through the roof, had to extend the term. Every bill has gone up. Kids at various stages who need help, one disabled. Haven't had a holiday for maybe a decade, run two old cars, buy most things second hand. We manage basic bills, but anything extra we don't have scope for, boiler has failed and we can't afford to replace it. The roof is leaking, but house repairs have gone up so much in price.
We have debt from past redundancies and the resultant relocations.
We pay a lot into pensions and have a lot of insurance - critical illness, redundancy, dental etc. I realise lower earners can't afford those safety nets - but christ, it's hardly a luxury. I see people earning far less going on holidays to America every year, new cars, kids with the latest tech and I wonder how the hell they afford it.

I know this isn't poor, poor is not being able to meet even your most basic needs. But to have worked up to a decent wage and still not be able to afford house repairs and a little extra is insane.

I'd also say our experience has been that you work your arse off to a better wage and then you just put yourself at risk of redundancy, as those jobs get cut and cheaper staff brought in.

Edited to add we are not on £100k. But still earn a figure that should grant us at least a new boiler!

Oh goody, another out of touch rich person moaning about how much money they don't have and how they're so hard done by. It's been at least 3 days since the last one.

Here's a tip - don't live in one of the most expensive cities in the world. Commute in like millions of other people do.

There’s a thousand threads on this.

the answer is wealth gap and generational wealth.
if you don’t have it you can be on combined income of 200k gross and still live a fairly basic bitch life after childcare and housing costs are covered in London.