To feel poor even though we earn well?

[erte]

We live in London and have to for our jobs. Even though we earn what most people would consider a very good household income, maybe top 5% nationally, we still feel poor.

Yes we can afford rent but can’t afford much more than a one bed and save. Whereas if you told me 10 years ago how much I would earn, I’d have imagined a far more comfortable existence.

Tax is the only thing I don’t mind paying it. The way I look it is that my take home pay is my salary, taxes were never my money in the first place. It’s our duty to contribute to the services we all benefit from - education, healthcare, the justice system - and absolutely fair that those who earn more should pay more.

Well, now you've opened up something of a Pandora's Box about what constitutes correct. Because there are people who have much less than even those who are hand to mouth in the UK. We have something of a health service and access to clean water, for example. If people who don't tick those boxes could read this, which of course a lot of them couldn't because this is the internet, they might take issue with some of the descriptions given by people who are worse off than OP and have used it to talk about themselves.

'Poor' isn't a term for which there's a set, agreed on, uncontroversial definition. It follows that any argument built on the idea that there's one correct way to use it will fail. People have their own definitions, you and I included, and yes they do indeed become possessive over the terminology.

She's not poor in any commonly accepted form of the word.

Yes. And the fact that people in the UK have such vastly different frames of reference speaks to the huge inequality here.

While that may very well be true and can be understandable, it is absolutely NOT “poor”. Unless the OP was goading us with a clickbait thread (something I’m increasingly starting to suspect) then they chose an incredibly silly word to describe how they feel, and can’t expect any kind of useful response as a result.

This is true. Inequality in itself presents problems, even when everyone has their basic needs met. Obviously we do not manage to meet everyone's basic needs in the UK.

I mean, your reply has made OPs use of poor even less justified now.
If poor UK residents aren't that poor when compared to many of those in less well off countries, then what is OP compared to those people in the less well off countries?
There's no justification for OP using the word 'poor' in this situation.

We all understand that perfectly well. But it’s still an incredibly silly word to use, because they clearly have no idea what feeling poor actually entails. They could have used a hundred other ways to describe how they feel. They would have got sympathy, or nuance, or useful input. But they’ve got a heated debate happening, which is perhaps what they actually wanted anyway.

You are in the top 5% earning bracket and yet you feel poor?

5% on PAYE earners I presume.

the answer is wealth gap and generational wealth.

yep, it’s housing largely and you now need help with it in most areas.

100%! Not to mention the extra time spent & potentially extra childcare costs to cover this extra time.

You do know I've made no attempt to justify it though, right?

It reads like you are.

The OP is saying despite earning well she feels poor. Probably because she’s had it drummed into her to do all the ‘right things’ and she will have some financial security in the future. Except she’s done them and is renting & home ownership security looks far away.

Exactly this. My DH earns a high salary, enough to be in the 40% tax bracket and works in London. We live 1 1/2 hours away but it costs over £1k a month to commute.

Fully appreciate we are not poor by any means but we are not absolutely rolling in it. I work as a TA, I have an auto immune disease so my career choices are slightly limited.

They could have used a hundred other ways to describe how they feel. They would have got sympathy, or nuance, or useful input

What word do you suggest @TheAlchemistElixa

Literally nothing I've written has said that.

Yeah I am in Surrey and renting a 2bed flat. I earn 63k which feels like a decent salary, but I don’t have any spare to save right now. I’ve got a deposit for a house as I lived in my ex’s house for 3yrs when he went to work overseas so I’m fortunate to have a decent deposit but I don’t want to buy a 2 bed flat. So I’m waiting 2yrs until my youngest goes to Uni then moving back up north. There I will have my own house at least. One household income is hard and it’s impossible to live near London if you’re a low earner or one income. So I get you, I don’t feel poor but I feel trapped and frustrated. I should be nearing the end of a mortgage but I’ve not even started

You're posts regarding use of the word poor suggest that, even if that's not your intent.

Yep. We live in Ireland and earn 100 grand pa between us. So that's 60 grand after tax. 1000 mortgage pm, childcare and high food, petrol and bills means we're not left with a lot every month. No foreign holiday this year. We drive bangers. We have two kids. My friends and neighbours who are earning less or have more kids are completely struggling. We're just managing with a bit of wriggle room. We live in a small Irish town.

I know we're not poor obviously, but I would expect to live better on what we're on.

And people massively underestimate wage stagnation & general low wages we have in the U.K.

55k today was 30k in 2000
90k today was 48k in 2000

Loads of jobs haven’t seen wage growth anything like that.

I think more budget information is needed: How expensive is your mobile phone contract; is your car on finance; Do you have a gym membership, etc.

A friend of mine is always complaining that she is flat broke, but then again she has the latest iPhone, drives a BMW, visits her salon on a regular basis and has a high maintenance appearance... After all that, she has very little money left.

Sometimes it can be down to choices.

I also work with a young woman who is always 'boomer bashing' and complaining about the near impossibility of young people getting on the property ladder but she's just returned from a two week holiday in Japan and is already planning a trip to Bali as her next holiday...

No, you just completely misinterpreted. You were until recently trying to argue that the term 'poor' has a factual definition, so conclusions you jumped to before you realised that was wrong are better rethought now.

You have no idea what it is like to feel poor OP. Can you pay your bills? Are you able to get credit? Do you worry near the end of the month that you'll have to cut down on food because you're running out of money? Are you able to buy Xmas presents for relatives? You don't known you're born fgs.

No blame here so don’t flame. Not implying people don’t budget.

we are pensioners with a reasonable workplace pension, especially my DH. Mine is tiny think under £5,000. Out lifestyle is ok, not extravagant, mostly because my DH has kept a tight budget using a spreadsheet which has meant we are okish, even to the extent of helping out our adult children who earn much more than I could have dreamt of at their age. I guess it is all relevant to one’s expectations.