WTF have we done buying this house

[hugebuyersremorse]

Currently having major house buying remorse and feel totally trapped

We completed today and we were really excited, feeling accomplished as first time buyers. We are mid 20s, newly married and expecting our first baby in a few months time. We have bought an ex-council house, 3 bedrooms with a modernised kitchen and large garden. Area is great and convenient; that plus the house size for the money was what drew us to the house. There was also 9 other offers!

We have another two weeks on our rental so the plan is to move across slowly. We’ve to view this afternoon and it is a total state. I can’t actually believe anyone could live like that, obviously they haven’t cleaned it since the second viewing a couple of months ago. Mess in every cupboard. Food at the bottom of the dishwasher. Dog hair in the fridge. Holes in every wall that need filling in from where pictures have been. Wallpaper peeling. They’ve taken the bannister off for some reason, it was there before? The shower is grouted with what looks like chewing gum, again wasn’t there before so has clearly been very recently replaced. Front door has a crack in it. Closes and locks, but big crack in it. Neither we or the surveyor noticed before so it is possible that it’s new. The garden is big and full of weeds that are probably about a metre tall. We always knew it would be a project but wow has it got out of hand these last few months. Crisp packets and wrappers strewn everywhere.

I know I am moaning and perhaps this is all very normal but I truly feel like despairing. We have worked really hard to get into a position to be able to buy this house. I have friends who are purchasing new builds and I feel jealous and think we should’ve gone for a much smaller new build. Maybe it would be small but at least there wouldn’t be any major work to do.

I feel like I can’t bear to part with our rental. A bit dramatic but maybe my hormones are playing a part. It’s a housing association rental so we have paid minimally and would have always been able to rent at a discount. It was a recent-ish build and although small, nothing here is our responsibility to fix. Why on earth would we move to a situation that costs us more for the sake of ‘ownership’. Let’s be real that we don’t really own it anyway, the bank does for the next 35 years (plus pocketing 5.2% interest thank you very much).

There is obviously a lot of work to be done, plus the added burden of paying more per month and having a gazillion repairs to do. We haven’t got many savings aside for repairs at all. I know this is far from ideal but we just needed to get on the property ladder and wanted to do it before baby.

Anyone I know who’s bought a house immediately celebrates it and moves in that day, instead we’re now paying for someone to deep clean it, looking for a gardener and trying to source grouting / roofer / new shower. I feel like we are never going to have any money & I naively hoped I’d be able to keep some savings back for maternity leave rather than plough what little we have left over into the house.

If you are reading this and thinking I’m naive, I understand that and have enough self awareness to know I probably am very much so. We perhaps should have scrutinised it a bit more but we were eager, and with hindsight, probably foolish.

What can I do to make best of this situation? I just want a rewind button but know the reality is we are stuck with it now :(

@hugebuyersremorse A family member had to buy a house with not much money after a divorce.
The kitchen was really gross. The house had been a rental and abused. {1870's}

He bought it as it had an old stables in the back garden- that was the USP.

He scrubbed with ''flash'' and the kitchen was the first room to be renovated.
The grease was truly DISGUSTING. Thick, orange fat everywhere- and it stank.

NOW, the kitchen is the loveliest room in the house! Completely redone, not a trace of the greasy smelly mess left.

Woodburner installed in the living room- instant coziness.

Reframe it in your mind. You have two weeks living somewhere else to get this place in good shape, that is quite a lot if you work hard in the evenings and weekends, or whenever your time off is.

Get it professionally cleaned asap. Then paint every wall fresh brilliant white.

Either hire a carpet cleaner and clean the carpets yourself or get someone in.
Ask on local facebook for a recommended carpenter/handyperson to tick off any obvious jobs like bannister and holes.

Ditto a gardener to tame the meter high stuff, but actually after that's been done you can do the garden yourself as and when, it's easier than sorting a house because it doesn't require a professional by law like electrics, gas etc does.

Blitz it and hopefully it will be a pleasant enough place to be in two weeks' time.

YANBU but as you can see from this thread - it’s horribly common. Honestly, people are disgusting. We moved into our current home 5yrs ago & when we left our old house we made sure it was immaculate, with a bunch of flowers and a bottle of fizz for the new owners. It’s good karma, right?

We arrived at our new house, having not been inside for a few weeks, to find she had not yet packed….!! Our removal men were throwing her belongings in a Luton van as we pulled up.

Since we had last been in the house (3-4 weeks) She had repainted some rooms brick red, had left ALL her paint behind (50+ tins), spattered coffee up the walls and carpets, left a rotting chicken in the oven and the garage was FULL to the door. I told her to take it all and she said she had run out of time. I rang the estate agent and told them I was having a garage full of belongings Delivered to them immediately - they sent agents round to clear the garage!!!

It was hellish at the time. You will get there, you have an absolute LUXURY of 2 weeks to fix this. I know it feels awful tonight but most of us had to sleep in these awful houses that night.

Tackle it afresh tomorrow.

I was in your shoes 3 years ago. It was overwhelming. We’re still only about 75% done getting it up to standard but I have zero regrets. I can’t tell you how good it feels to get a room done. You’ll go to bed knackered from decorating, fixing stuff, cleaning stuff but I promise you it will be worth it in the end. Get it clean, give it all a lick of paint, fix what you can and make a list of things you can’t do. You’ll learn new skills and realise you’re capable of so much more than you know. Every time it feels too much for me, I go and look at one of the finished rooms and remind myself it’s completely worth it. Good luck

When I bought my house 5 years ago I walked in and instantly thought "wtf have I done!?" it was such an anticlimax after being really excited to buy my first house that I actually cried.

I knew it needed work but it was absolutely filthy and all the work it needed felt really overwhelming.

Fast forward to now and I really love my home. So try not to panic, it might take a little while for it to be a place that feels like home for you but you'll get there and all these feelings will be forgotten x

I have a theory that some sellers heave a sigh of relief and stop cleaning on the day they exchange contracts. Also, removal of furniture obviously leaves any carpeting looking a mess and garden sheds are used as an alternative to taking stuff to the dump. The missing banister is a bit special, though!

It'll all be fine in the end, OP. Just take lots of deep breaths and deal with it in your own good time. And enjoy your house.

@hugebuyersremorse As for the daftness of saying the house isn't yours, it IS yours...I bought a house years ago and it's gone up over 250% of percent in value since then- As have neighbour's houses.

I never could have foreseen the increase, it seems insane.

A friend who could have bought before me {she's 10 years older} never wanted to be ''tied to a mortgage''...she had a cheap rent in a lovely area.

However... her landlords keep whacking her rent up, and she bitterly regrets not having bought when she could have.

If you can afford to buy... do so.

My parents bought a house by Richmond Park when we were kids..it was really run down, blankets on the floor instead of carpets, ancient wallpaper on the walls, a large and wild garden -Mum said she was very depressed as it was in such a state.

But gradually it came together. Mum had to sell after Dad died to a much smaller house, {Same location} and she really misses the large house which she came to love.

Long term, buying is nearly always worth it.

Make a list, give it to solicitor and just start working through on what you can do yourselves & what you can’t. Prioritise clean and safe so get the boiler serviced and electrics checked, then nuke it with flea bombs and magnolia paint.

My new build had a 2 page snag list - ceilings came down twice, floor came up, missing roof tiles, heating wasn’t connected to thermostat ….

My roof was the same, we had it repaired and dry verge put up.

With the exception of the roof and the door it all sounds surface. I totally get the level of filth is really off-putting but try to remember it is easily dealt with and will be quickly forgotten. You are really fortunate you don’t have to move in right away and live in it - two weeks is fine for a really good hygiene scrub top to bottom - rope in capable family and friends if possible and save the price of a commercial clean to cover something you and you partner don’t have the skill to do; or to pay for replacing an appliance that’s beyond saving.

As far as the possible swapping out of some items since viewing such as door etc. can you check website posting/photos to see what was shown as proof to go back to vendor? The roof tiles - something this obvious should've been picked up so grounds to claim sone costs back surely? As it clearly occurred before exchange they should be claiming insurance or paying!

All in all you may just have the fear of having made such a big commitment and would be wobbling anyway. You won’t regret going for a bigger ex-LA instead of new build - you’ll have bags more space and they are sturdy. Lots of new builds have issues, very little storage and tiny gardens - often only remain tidy if occupants are minimalists with OCD!

Contact your solicitor on Monday to see if you can get any redress.

We bought an ex council house as our first home and while it wasn't pretty it was built to last. In all probability the roof will be fine. Council houses are built well and the issues you need to fix sound cosmetic. Don't panic. Make a list and crack on with it.

Aw OP

I remember feeling exactly the same way when we moved into our first house 24 years ago.

Omg it was hideous, filthy and absolutely stank,

It all sounds pretty cosmetic as ours was - you need to clean it up into a liveable state in the short term. Some paint and some new carpets will honestly work wonders. Plus replacing the gum with grouting and mowing the lawn.

it’ll be fine, I promise.

If you can pay for a professional clean. It will feel better once it’s clean and you can see the wood through the trees. I’m sorry they’ve left it in this state. I’d put a complaint in with the EA but not sure what much they can do about it.

The carpets in ours were actually shiny with dirt.

Fingers crossed the OP’s are cleanable. We just took them down the tip, there was nothing else to do. The bare floors were preferable!

First step: Pay for a professional deep clean. Everything else is not urgent and can be sorted one at a time after you move in.

First house we bought looked fine but when we moved in holes in carpets with stuff strategically placed over them. And gigantic grease stain on wallpaper in dining room as if somebody had thrown a chip pan full of fat at it. Looked really scruffy and not very clean without furniture. But you just have to get on with it. But any structural damage should be reported to solicotor. Similarly if they've taken anything that should have been left.

@AgathaMystery A rotting chicken in the oven??..oh heck! I thought my relative's kitchen was bad with its layer of stinky orange grease everywhere.
They too {Past tenants} had painted a wall in the kitchen bright Orangey-Red, as if to match the grease.

I've heard of smelly bathroom carpets that reek of stale pee when being removed by a gagging tradesman...WHYYY, why do people have carpets in bathrooms?

Well done for leaving your house in a lovely condition for your new buyers.
That must have been really appreciated by them.

Massive congratulations to you and your partner on being homeowners at such a young age. Ignore the jealous comments from the unhappy posters on here. They're to be pitied. You'll grow to love your home. All it needs is a bit of hard graft and will be so worth it.

I didn't see this mentioned before, but the bannister ws probably removed so furniture could be moved more easily. Look around for it.

I'm in Canada, and I'm sure things are different in the UK, but assuming the vendor left the brackets behind, the handrail itself won't be that expaensive.

Channel your energy into improving your house, not whinging MN posts.

@hugebuyersremorse Im so very sorry. This sucks.

As an aside, when you complete, do you not do a pre completion inspection? That’s standard in Canada

Just one other thing I just told DH about this thread and we reminisced about moving in that day 😱. My mother scrubbing the kitchen and bathroom for 4 hours while the rest of us stripped 😂😂. He just quite simply said ‘buying that house was the best decision we ever made’.

Because it was. It was a lovely house, much bigger than anything else we’d seen which is why we bought it. Nice neighbours (who hated the scuzzy fuckers who’d moved out).

Thats what you will say in 20 years time.

Hi OP,

I'm really sorry you are having to cope with all this. The roof does look a bit concerning.

How they got dog hair the fridge is a whole other question.

I think that contacting the solicitor might be a good idea, but I really have no idea what could realistically happen.

I think if you could get someone to go through the whole garden with a strimmer, it would probably really help a lot.

Also throw away all the carpets and the applicances and get the council bulky waste service to collect them. You can find the contact address online.

A coat of paint all over will help enormously.

Check if the house is old enough to have lead paint and it it is then get someone else to brush off the flaking and paint over. You really really do not want to go near flaking lead paint right now.

Gardens that have been neglected in high summer always look awful. Take up anyone's offer of help, if they have a petrol strimmer that is good, then mow the grass and zap hedges with a hedge trimmer - it will look very different, if obviously not perfect. My mum's house is empty atm, I thought we would need a professional in to sort the garden, but my brother did a really good job over a weekend on his own.

My last purchase took more than 18 months due to the chain collapsing, which wasn’t the sellers’ fault. However, the sellers were clearly not motivated to maintain the property in the meantime, plus they weren’t naturally talented at DIY and did a few amateur bodge jobs.

Consequently, on completion I found out that part of the fence was broken and being held up by a cleverly concealed rope, the sloping garden had a patio which flooded after every rain shower, the garage had an active woodworm infestation, the oven didn’t work, the floor tiles were made of asbestos, the living room carpet was badly moth-eaten and the porch was literally falling apart.

I bought the property in the post-Covid frenzy and I feel I paid too much for it. However, I’m doing it up little by little, and it will be OK in the end. Hang on in there!