Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

I actually think she went above and beyond. She cared enough to take him somewhere safe, where he would be looked after. She obviously felt he wasn’t safe to be left on his own and needed someone sensible to keep an eye on him to ensure he didn’t choke on his own vomit or something. She had work, she obviously couldn’t do this herself, nor should she have to.

As his mother, you should be thanking her for caring for him enough to make sure he was in a safe place where he would be looked after. Many people wouldn’t be so caring or thoughtful.

As for saying is her position you’d look after your husband, he isn’t her husband, she shouldn’t have to, however even if he was her husband she shouldn’t have had to had to deal with that. I can remember twice during my childhood my Dad getting very drunk. Once being his 40th birthday. My Mum hadn’t gone out with him as my little sister was only 5 months old. His friends bought him a corresponding drink for every letter of my sister’s full name (including middle names), his friend brought him home. She dragged his shoes off him and then left him for the night on the sitting room floor with a bucket 😂. She was furious, I don’t think she’s ever quite forgiven him….

I’ve been married for my husband for 16 years and if he behaved like this I’d still be tempted to send him to his mums. I certainly wouldn’t be ordering him food in the middle of the night, cleaning up his sick or ‘looking after’ him. And we wouldn’t expect me to, because he has far too much respect for me to behave like that.

She isn’t married to him, not that it would make any difference if she was.

I wouldn't have put up with this at 16 from a partner. Yet alone at 26.

He was verbally abusive to her (shouting at her), sick everywhere, treated her like some sort of skivvy (asking her to order his food - what an embarrassment) and she didn't want to leave him alone (which is a good thing - sounds like she was worried he'd choke on his sick) and you're angry at her? Baffling.

I wish she could post here so we could all say LTB.

GF was being unreasonable- she should have dumped your son on the spot.

She sounds a stand up kinda gal.

Doesn’t need to work but does (to keep her mind occupied and personal pride)

Works out (fit, healthy and committed to early starts).

Strong boundaries around idiots (dealt with pissed boyfriend but read him riot act and took him to his mothers to a) grow up and b) stop him from dying in his own vomit).

And you think she’s the problem? He should marry her. If he’s lucky enough.

Absolutely this!!

Also she has every right to be pissed off that he came to hers and vomited everywhere.

"Wasn't his best self" - that is quite the understatement here

Good on her. I hope he's suitably apologetic.

Well done to her for not taking that shit behaviour. Tell your son to not be a dick.

His behaviour was puerile and disgusting. In your shoes I'd be ashamed if my son behaved like that.

His gf on the other hand sounds brilliant - good on her for being so firm with him.

She was NU, and if she has the sense she appears to, he will be single soon.

If he had aspirated on his own vomit after she left him alone how would you feel?

None of this is her fault and she did nothing wrong.

He's not her baby and she's not responsible for him. She was very patient considering he is a grown man waking her up and vomiting all over her home after being told not to come there.

And then she took steps to make sure he was supervised and safe when she went off to gym and work.

After no sleep. Thanks to him.

What more did you want?

Your son owes her after is absolutely repugnant behaviour. It's disgraceful that you're defending him and slagging her off. I would tear strips off of my son if he behaved this way.

If I was in your shoes it'd be my son I'd be furious at, not his girlfriend who, quite frankly, sounds like an impressive young woman.

@Chrisia

what do you mean you have no idea why she works out?

do you not exercise?

Good for her.
I think your son owes her a very big apology.

She was very responsible in bringing him to yours so he was safe. He owed her the taxi fare. I’m sure she will give him his card back.

She is a legend, he should snap her up if she’ll have him, but I suspect she won’t.

Also think it is very very wrong to take his bank card, that is fraud!!

OK so you think the relationship is such that even though it was 2.00 in the morning and he woke her up when she has work in the morning, she should have mopped his brow, cleaned up the sick, let him sleep in her bed - but her taking the card is fraud? So you don't think the relationship is that close then?

Sounds like the Gf is holding her boundaries and good for her. Why go to your non live in gf,s house when you are so wasted and so late on a work night? Why do you think she should have to deal with that?

absolutely this! Everyone has been mouldy drunk & maybe sick but she handled it with far more patience than I would have plus she was considerate & caring enough to drop him to yours in case he continued to be sick, which apparently he was

your son needs to apologize to her & you to be honest

Sounds like your son's girlfriend has a low tolerance for nonsense. I'm the same. If someone's vomiting and moaning and being a jerk to me simply because he drank far too much, I wouldn't want him in my home, either.

If your son wants to stay with this woman, he needs to recognise that these are her limits. She apparently won't accept the responsibility of caring for someone who's made himself ill through overindulgence. He can decide if he's happy to change or wants to find someone who doesn't mind. If he doesn't make a habit of drinking this way, they'll get over this bump in the road.

You should keep out of it, either way. He's 26, old enough to stand up for himself and make his own decisions.

Classic boy mum. Your son was an inconsiderate idiot.

8 months ! Good grief it gets worse, that’s no time at all !

You think she should've looked after him - she did, she bought him to yours so he wasn't alone, a good thing as he was sick again.
She refused to allow his behaviour to affect her morning - she had plans and stuck to them. Good for her. She's done nothing wrong.

She sounds great. Your son, an adult, shouldn't drink more than he can handle.
If she was my daughter, I’d be advising her to reconsider the relationship if there is any sign of this being more than a one off behaviour.

And absolutely the right thing to send the food away - the daft bugger would have been sick again making more cleaning up for the poor girl!