Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

Why should his GF have to spend her trust fund on cleaning his mess up? He should pay for any cleaning and her taxi. You might tolerate his behaviour but good to see her not take it

Team GF , all the way . Good for her for setting some boundaries.

I have a son. This is n no way normal maternal behaviour.

Your son is a dickhead. I'd be furious with that behaviour.

She should have lovingly wiped the vomit from his chin and then cuddled him all night. Oh and she should have sacked off the exercise class too to stay with him.

you’re quite right op 🙄

If the girlfriend is reading this, I'd like to say well done for having clear boundaries and not being willing to put up with this. Now dump your BF and his mother: she thinks it's your job to look after him and clear up with he's sick all over himself after a drinking binge. Find better BF and a better potential MIL who hasn't bought her son up to think a woman will always sort him out.

I hope she gets some new bedding with that bank card. He owes her that at the very least.

And you think she's the dramatic one. The best thing you could do is tell her all this so she wakes up and extricates herself from the dynamic you are clearly trying to create. A fully functioning adult woman with a career, her own home, a full life and money in the bank does not want to deal with your son's puke or your antiquated ideas.

If my husband had done this, I would have sent him home to his mums. If my son did this, I would fully be on board with his girlfriend doing this.

Why should she incur costs for her BF poor behaviour.
I think that he should decide if he thinks his behaviour was acceptable, if he thinks he would want to continue to have nights do excess like this, and if so should probably re think if this is the right GF for him, likewise she’s likely to be doing the same.

@Chrisia i can't believe you are more bothered about her having his card than the poor behaviour of your son . How much money did he waste getting himself in that state? Why is it ok for him to shout at her? What about the girlfriend being inconvenienced (putting that politely).
So many questions.
The girlfriend is right here

I hope she comes to her senses and dumps him tbh. She doesn't want to be lumped with some this disrespectful for the rest of her life. He'd been sick several times on her things? You think that's ok? And she should just suck it up? It's revolting!

I would cancel until he grew up. How on earth can you defend this behaviour? She clearly told him not to turn up in the early hours because she had to get up for work, so he did and threw up in her bed. I've got the rage on her behalf

He sounds awful, and so do you.

Good go get but you shouldn't have had to deal with him either- he's 26 not 16! It's your DS you should be annoyed with!

• Good for her

Your son behaved very badly.

His girlfriend should not be out of pocket because he was an idiot. She has already had to clean up after him.

You have raised a man child. Stop babying him, back up his girlfriend.

Of course she was upset with him - she got no sleep because of his self-inflicted sickness after what sounds like very excessive drinking. No one wants to clear up another adult's puke.
She didn't want him there because he ruined her stuff and he was still throwing up so perhaps she was actually concerned about him being alone. Whether or not she has lots of money, making him pay for the taxi sounds like more of a protest over his behaviour. He should be apologising profusely.

A 26 year old assuming they have been consuming alcohol on occasions for several years should know their limits.

How reassuring to read of a young woman who expects reasonable standards of behaviour and does not put up with unreasonable ones.

In sickness and in health, certainly, but not when it’s self inflicted

Your ds is an arsehole.

Yes! I’d be proud of the girls boundaries and worried about where I’d gone wrong to raise my son to think this was ok! My own DM can be a bit of a cliche “boy mum” with my brother, he still acts very much the Mummy’s boy at 31, and even she would be full of praise for the girl and fuming at DB in this scenario!

Yeh after only 8 months I wouldn’t be putting up with that either. Good for her!

He's not her husband and they don't live together so why should she be responsible for him when she had to go work? She has self respect and a backbone. He needs to grow up. Her financial circumstances are immaterial. He caused her inconvenience and she made sure the plonker was safe.

And that is a difference between DH and BF?

Frankly my DH would have been left at home to deal with the consequences of his own actions