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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dramatic response from sons GF

1000 replies

Chrisia · 28/06/2024 17:17

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

OP posts:
Poachedeggs1 · 28/06/2024 17:54

👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 well done to the girlfriend, I admire her. It appears your precious son can do no wrong in your eyes.

RoastLambs · 28/06/2024 17:54

I can't believe you think that she should look after him as this is what she signed up for. It's easy to see how he ended up being a dick.

BotterMon · 28/06/2024 17:54

I'm team girlfriend but why on earth didn't he just go back to his place if they don't live together?

FanSaBhaile · 28/06/2024 17:54

I applaud her 👏 🙌
He behaved like a teenager doesn't know his limits and can't hold his drinks - so back to his mammy he goes.

GillySoose · 28/06/2024 17:54

Good for her! She's right.

Wheresthebeach · 28/06/2024 17:54

Wow OP....really? Hoping this is a reverse....Go Team Girlfriend.
Your son has behaved very badly and she's not pandering to it.

cannaecookrisotto · 28/06/2024 17:55

Ha! Good on her. He was acting like a man child so let his mother deal with him.

PoppyCherryDog · 28/06/2024 17:55

Chrisia · 28/06/2024 17:31

Yes, he was studying non-stop for months and I've been told they are some of the hardest exams you can do.
I can see from the replies here that most think AIBU, I guess I feel like if it were my husband I'd look after him as that's what I signed up for.

If my husband came home drunk and acted like this I’d be furious at him. I definitely didn’t sign up to look after a drunk vomiting man…

Youdontevengohere · 28/06/2024 17:55

Fair play to her. Far too many women put up with shit like this. She has boundaries, and they will serve her well.

BMW6 · 28/06/2024 17:55

Chrisia · 28/06/2024 17:21

And say what? he drank a bit too much and maybe wasn't his best self, but surely dropping him at his mums is a bit excessive!

"Maybe wasn't his best self" is the understatement of the year OP 😂

If I was his Mum I'd be mortified by his appalling behaviour.

NotSerious · 28/06/2024 17:55

Chrisia · 28/06/2024 17:33

She has a trust fund but still works a 9-5 (low paying role in the creative world) and she works out every day around it - no idea why!! She does a workout every morning except sunday!

You might have ‘signed up’ for this crap but she hasn’t, they don’t even live together.

How are you taking issue with the fact that she has a trust fund but still works?! That’s a good thing, surely!

She didn’t let his irresponsibility affect her life and good for her, she isn’t his nursemaid, and honestly you sound appalling. I hope for her sake she doesn’t end up with you as a Mil. The epitome of ‘boy moms’ right here.

AFmammaG · 28/06/2024 17:56

Would you rather she had left him at her place alone where he could have choked on his own vomit and no one would have known? You said yourself he was sick again after he got to you.

slidingdoorsmoments · 28/06/2024 17:56

What? I have a 27 year old son, and I think you are being ridiculous. Why are you backing him, when he is in the wrong? Please don't be one of those Mums!

He went there are 2am, woke her up, demanded food, then was sick all over the place. That's DISGUSTING behaviour. Stop sticking up for him when he has behaved appallingly!

friskybivalves · 28/06/2024 17:56

#Queen #slay #ishereally26? Blimey.

I would be mortified if my mother had come online bleating about my mortifying behaviour and trying somehow to cast my gf as the baddie in this. Hope he doesn't find out.

CaptainMyCaptain · 28/06/2024 17:56

He behaved appallingly and she did exactly the right thing. She should dump the man child.

Nanny0gg · 28/06/2024 17:56

Chrisia · 28/06/2024 17:31

Yes, he was studying non-stop for months and I've been told they are some of the hardest exams you can do.
I can see from the replies here that most think AIBU, I guess I feel like if it were my husband I'd look after him as that's what I signed up for.

She hasn't signed up for anything

And as he's clearly not the nicest person when drunk, woke her up and can't hold his drink (vomiting down himself and over the bed). sending him back to his mummy was the best option

Chrisia · 28/06/2024 17:56

Ok fair enough.
Personally if it were my husband I would be annoyed but look after him. They have been together for 8 months - DH and I were married after 6 so I guess I just view it differently.
Also think it is very very wrong to take his bank card, that is fraud!!

OP posts:
ShelleyCarpenter · 28/06/2024 17:57

It’s an absolutely appalling way for a BF to behave. I would have done exactly the same. He’s lucky she still wants to see him at all, his behaviour would have put me right off.

Gymnopedie · 28/06/2024 17:57

Massive kudos to the gf. Just be grateful she got him safely to yours instead of kicking him out on to the street.

lanthanum · 28/06/2024 17:57

Chrisia · 28/06/2024 17:31

Yes, he was studying non-stop for months and I've been told they are some of the hardest exams you can do.
I can see from the replies here that most think AIBU, I guess I feel like if it were my husband I'd look after him as that's what I signed up for.

I signed up for "in sickness and in health", but I made sure I didn't marry someone who was going to come home drunk and expect me to be a servant in the middle of the night. She's making it clear that she's not going to sign up for that, and he's going to have to work hard to convince her it won't happen again.

GillySoose · 28/06/2024 17:57

8 months?! Of course she shouldn't look after him, he puked in her bed and shouted at her.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/06/2024 17:57

If she has any sense at all, she will be dumping this sorry excuse for a man. Let me guess, this type of behaviour is totally normal for you, and it's the example your husband set for your son. Hopefully, this young woman sees the future that awaits her if she continues to put up with this shit.

themonkeysnuts · 28/06/2024 17:57

good for her, if shes got any sense she will dump him as well

InterIgnis · 28/06/2024 17:57

How is it relevant that she has a trust fund? Unless you’re trying to garner support from the ‘fuck the rich no matter what’ contingent?

No, she shouldn’t be out of pocket for the inconvenience he’s caused her. It’s also not her responsibility to look after or clean up after him because he decided to get plastered. I have never and would never do that either, and I don’t consider something I signed up for upon signing my marriage certificate.

DoYouSmokePaul · 28/06/2024 17:58

Just adding to the mass of voices praising the girlfriend! And good on her having a work ethic despite seemingly being able to live off her rich father. I think if I had a trust fund I’d be sunning myself in Thailand, far from my puking excuse for a boyfriend 😃

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