Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

She did look after him! Then safely dropped him with his mum when she needed to go. The main issue here for me isn't even his behaviour, it's his mother thinking his GF was in the wrong.

Team GF /
Is that you, MIL?

I've been in similar scenarios unfortunately many times, my partner being the drunk man.
Drunken idiot men waking their partners up and puking everywhere are fucking grim. He should have gone home where you would have applauded this behaviour and mopped his brow.
No?

At least this young woman won’t be on mumsnet in 10 year’s time complaining how her husband is absolutely useless and how he is letting her and the 2, 3 children down. This woman won’t put up with that kind of sh*t and I say: good for her! OP, I would tell your son to grow up and go to his own house if he plans to vomit all over the place. He’ll need to shape up if he wants to stay in her life!

Good for her, she handled this well. There’s no way I would be wanting to deal with frank the tank puking up everywhere, even if I didn’t have to get up early. You’re enabling him.

I'm with the girlfriend on this one. He doesn't live with her, they haven't made the commitment to share their lives and cohabit yet (and much more of this and she'd be wise not to), and you sound as though you minimise and enable. It was totally unacceptable behaviour from him, and especially on a night where she has work and other commitments in the morning.

My god. I’m sorry, you are being ridiculous!!!

Why on earth should she put up with this nonsense!!?? Puking all over her house , showing up extremely drunk on her doorstep.

Wouldn’t surprise me if she finishes with his after that display. Can’t believe you think this behaviour is ok 🙈

Your son is a total arse. The fact that the GF has a trust fund us irrelevant, why should her money be spent on ferrying around a pathetic drunk? I'm impressed that she has strong boundaries, and knows her worth. I spent too many wasted nights with loser boyfriends thinking it was my "duty" to clear up their sick or bring them drinks. It wasn't and it took me years to realise. I hope she dumps him.

With the best will in the world OP I can’t for the life of me see how you can possibly think that your son has been hard done to by his girl friend.
Yes,he was perfectly entitled to go out and celebrate his exam success, but to arrive back home blind drunk well after midnight on a work night and then instruct her to order food for him which he couldn’t eat and vomit everywhere is pretty poor form.
All credit to the girlfriend for dumping him with you. Be thankful that she didn’t strip the bed and give you all the linen to wash too
I hope that once he sobered up you took the opportunity to explain to him that his behaviour was pretty poor form and that his girlfriends behaviour was justified

It's no wonder your son's a knob, is it?

She sounds well out of his league. I hope she dumps him now before things get more complicated.

I hope that once he sobered up you took the opportunity to explain to him that his behaviour was pretty poor form and that his girlfriends behaviour was justified

Thats not gonna happen because the OP thinks her poor ickle soldiers appalling behaviour was perfectly reasonable and his ‘trust fund’ gf signed up to clearing up his puke and being verbally abused because that’s the low bar the OP has set for her own relationship

It’s unreasonable for her to drop your son at your house at 5.45 but not unreasonable for him to show up at her house at 2am and vomit everywhere and shout at her?

put yourself in her shoes.

If she were my daughter, i would be so proud of her! Boundaries.

I don't think she is being dramatic. I think I would have struggled to let him in if he was in such a state. Why on earth did he not just go straight home? She has been going out with him for less than a year so she has not signed up for looking after him when he has been an idiot. She did in fact look after him by not leaving him alone, ordering him food even after him shouting at her and being sick all over her bed and then delivering him to his parents. Ugh hope he learns his lesson and makes it up to her.

"If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home"
Absolute LEGEND, she's my hero, I wish I'd stood up for myself like that in my teens and twenties!

I’m so pleased we are pretty unanimous that the guy is at fault.
His girlfriend did all the right things, including making him pay for her taxi back home.
And she took him back to the care of his mother, I don’t know what else she could have done.

Sadly OP reminds me of my relative, furious with me when I took their adult child to A&E via ambulance when I was called to their house ( parents away ) and said adult child was unconscious and had thrown up.
Ambulance crew made the decision to take him as we couldn’t rouse them, and the state of their vomit.

You can’t please stupid. Apologies for the bluntness, but the girlfriend has acted responsibly

I've been married 10 years and been with my husband for 21 years (since we were 14)
If he came in blind drunk (how unattractive) at 2am, vomited all over the bed (even more unattractive) and made me order him food....
When I'm at work the next day and have an exercise class booked....I would probably drop him off at my MIL's and say the same thing.....
But my MIL would agree with me and say....yes it's a disgrace!

Good for your son's gf, it could be soon to be ex if that's how he acts on a night out...

GF is mature, responsible and doesn’t take shit. Really really good for her!

The person in the wrong here was your DS. Followed by you OP for trying to apportion some blame/accountability onto GF.

You should be upset with your son, NOT his gf. He’s the one who is embarrassing. He should be apologising to her really

Your son needs to grow up. His girlfriend needs to find somebody else.

I would be pissed off if someone woke me up at that time and behaved like that. YABU

The night’s adventures sound like my uni days. Drunken stunts like this were certainly getting old by our mid 20s. Sounds like she has matured way past having time for those shenanigans. While her response does seem a bit unnecessarily dramatic, I’m guessing this isn’t the first time he’s pissed her off recently.

Yeah, you're son's a twat and so are you for blaming her entirely healthy reaction. Good on her for having decent boundaries. Hopefully she'll dump him and the two of you can sulk together.

She most definitely shouldn't have taken his bank card, and she shouldn't have given his takeaway away.

She was right - if she has any sense she won't have anything to do with someone who acts like this. Can only hope he grows up.

I HAD this mother in law. BIL is on his second divorce. My ex we were number 3. All 5 relationships ended over the OW. MIL. OP will not have to worry about gf for long.