Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

Look after him? Why? They’re not married, she hasn’t ‘signed up’ for anything. He’s her boyfriend/soon to be ex boyfriend, that’s all.

And her taxi journey was only made so she could deposit a fully grown adult to a safe place because that fully grown adult was clearly not that fully grown. As others have said, choking on vomit is a real thing. I think to get him to pay for the taxi she took while ensuring his safety is only fair tbh.

The only thing she has done that is unreasonable is to not dump him already.

she has a trust fund but still works a 9-5 (low paying role in the creative world) and she works out every day around it - no idea why!! She does a workout every morning except sunday

You sounds like a MIL from hell. Really snippy and snide about the poor woman.

If my bf got that drunk after 8 months I'd bin him. Foul behaviour.

And her taking his bank card is not fraud. Don't be daft.

And yuk. Does he always ignore her when she says something? She didn't want him home, and no wonder.

He is not her husband, and even if he was dealing with someone in the state your son was would not be something she would have ‘signed up for’

YABVU, it’s your son who you should be speaking to not her.
Hope she dumps him.

You signed up to a selfish man child with no respect for you?

Good for his GF for refusing to do the same

Good on the gf. I hope she ditched him

It is his mum that is causing people to frown I believe, not her son getting drunk. If her first reaction is to be annoyed at his gf. I got a call from a sons gf, asking for us to help get him as he was drunk and sick. We got him, and he had to clean up his own vomit. I didn't blame his gf because she called us. Was not her fault!

We have a house rule that no one gets very drunk- that applies to DH, myself and our teenagers. Having a few drinks is fine, getting completely pissed to the point that you’re puking, isn’t. I can’t understand why anyone would be ok with it, tbh.

I'm kind of saddened that you think it his GFs responsibility to clean up your grown sons vomit and "look after him" when he can't handle his drink.
Hes a man OP. Apparently a very intelligent one at that. It's time for him to grow up now.
Please stop thinking he's anyone's responsibility but his own.

No wonder your son behaves that way. Don't worry lad, mummy will fix everything groan

But they are not married. Nor do they live together.

You obviously dislike this girl, and look down on her. I hope she drops your child like a hot potato.

You are the one being dramatic accusing her of fraud. Why should she be out of pocket because your son is a drunken mess. She has a trust fund so he can use her and she will clean up after him? If she dropped him at his flatshare and he choked on his own vomit I suspect you would be giving out that she didn't drop him home to his mums.
No wonder some men are the way they are.

Girlfriend sounds awesome

Good on her. I’d be fuming if he turned up drunk in the small hours demanding to be fed and vomiting everywhere when I had work. Ringing you was probably OTT but he didn’t exactly crawl into bed quietly and fall asleep

Well done that GF
She was actually thoughtful bringing him to yours so he wasn't alone if he was sick and choked
Celebrating or not, at 26 your DS needs to grow up
I have a 26 year old DS who did this kind of thing at 18

I wouldn't have taken his bank card to pay for the taxi. Only because it would mean I had to see him again. We'd be done.

She sounds brilliant! I hope she dumps him for his disgusting behaviour.

THIS. ☝

Your son’s behaviour was horrible. She’s quite right to get him out of her home. You should be grateful that she brought him back to you safely, instead of dumping him in the street.

Well done to your son for getting through his exam! And an equal well done to his GF for doing what she did! It sounds like she was insanely patient with him, which she didn't need to be - AND made sure he was somewhere safe before we went about her day. She must've been shattered after all that, but I suspect she did her workout and went to work like an absolute trooper. She sounds like she has a brilliant work ethic, rather than relying on her trust fund. Quite frankly, she sounds like a keeper and your son is lucky to have her.

There is no way on Earth you'd be encouraging your son to look after her if the roles were reversed and she'd drunk herself to oblivion and been sick all over his bed.

It's 20 fucking 24 and the "boys will be boys" attitude is alive and well with the British mums.

You are massively unreasonable, hope she sees sense and dumps him, you'd be a nightmare mother in law. He will never change enabled by mommy.

She can always post the card back to him. Hopefully, for her sake, that's what she'll do.

I am 100% team gf on this. They have only been together a short time. Don’t live together. She certainly hasn’t “signed up” for anything yet. I guess as his mum you have signed up for it, so yeah, you get him back. Wise girl.

She’s setting her boundaries early on. She works and exercises and is disciplined even though you say she doesn’t have to be. I hope my daughters trim out this well put together.

Tbh it sounds like the girlfriend has perfect clarity on what’s reasonable and what’s not so I doubt she would go to the trouble of posting about it, let alone a reverse.