Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

And say what? he drank a bit too much and maybe wasn't his best self, but surely dropping him at his mums is a bit excessive!

To be sick so many times then he had to have a fair bit more than 'a bit.'
He was so far from his best self she probably had the 'ick.' She was also probably a bit paranoid of him being sick whilst she wasn't there and choking.

If he doesn't want to be treated as a teenager and sent home to his mum he should act more like an adult or at least respect her wishes if him not going to her house in the early hours drunk.

Imagine having you as a mother in law , your future awaits when you cannot see grandchildren because you reared an arsehole, he will be divorced & living with you. Sure then you will be happy.

Your son was a dick! He woke her up in the early hours despite being directed not to stay over, vomited everywhere, she had no choice but to shower him, wash the bedclothes, order a takeaway, be awake for hours while shouted at. Totally unacceptable behaviour on your son’s part. My husband has never behaved like this, he has always been respectful towards me. Thank goodness the GF has standards and put her foot down, although it was kind to help him when he was at his worst. It was sensible to ensure he was monitored in the car and sent home for you to monitor him. Naturally your son should have paid for both taxi journeys but she shouldn’t have taken his bank card.

I imagine the op will try to get this pulled soon as claiming it's identifying because her boy is soooooo clever so very few ppl are as clever as her special boy so it must be identifiable! Basically most ppl think her son's wrong & so is she, the thread didn't go as she planned 🤣

Your son behaves appallingly and you think his ‘trust fund girlfriend’ is being unreasonable? Just because you settled with your husband after 6 months and would have looked after him because ‘it’s what you signed up for’ they have only been together 8 months and you expect her to look after a man child, clean his vomit as he’s so drunk, she dropped him to a place of safety as she was going out and took the money for a taxi and your complaining??? I think you should have apologised and thanked her for dropping him off to you, she sounds like a decent girl who probably arguably will be looking for a new boyfriend soon, doesn’t sound like your son is husband material… exams or no exams

why didn't she go with him and possibly stop him getting so out of it? Or was she not invited? I

Even if she had been invited and gone it isn't her responsibility to prevent a grown adult man from drinking too much. He isn't a child and she isn't his mum!

Well done on the GF for not accepting poor behaviour and asserting her boundaries.

TBH a 26 year old going out getting rat arsed every so often isn't so bad as long as they don't impinge on anyone else. Your DS certainly did that - waking up GF at 2am, puking, shouting at her, puking on the bed linen.
He needs to learn his alcohol boundaries ASAP.

I guess I feel like if it were my husband I'd look after him as that's what I signed up for.

If it had been my husband I'd have been furious with him for behaving in such an immature way, for ignoring my request, for waking me in the early hours, for disturbing my sleep on a work night, for being incapable of taking care of his elf through drink and for ruining our planned night out the evening after.

They have only been together 8 months, should still be in the trying hard to impress stage, not vomiting on her sheets...
I think people will somewhat treat you how you let them, it looks to me like this girl will either get him to treat her right or dump him for someone else who will treat her right. Make sure he recognises that!

Your son was an idiot.

He deserves to be dumped and I hope she has the guts to do so

He should be doing some serious grovelling if he cares about this girl at all

Also think it is very very wrong to take his bank card, that is fraud!!

He owes a darn sight more than a taxi fare!
He has been sick all over bedding and likely other parts of her home. He should also be paying to make everything right - cleaning stuff (and him doing it) or cleaner, and new bedding at least.

She's not his mother or wife. He should not have turned up at 2am. He couldn't eat if he was vomiting. He shouldn't have insisted on getting food and he shouldn't have shouted.

I'd be considering if this was a dealbreaker

Team GF

Well, that's the point isn't it - he isn't her husband, and they don't even live together.

Why shouldn't she use his card to pay for her taxi? The fact that she has a trust fund has nothing whatsoever to do with it. You sound envious, and the fact that you think your darling son can do no wrong would be enough for me to be seriously considering my relationship with him tbh.

She sounds like a woman with her head screwed on. Team girlfriend all the way!

She's not his mother and honestly if it were me I would be reconsidering the relationship. Perhaps seems extreme but his initial reaction + yours screams years of misery with a mil supporting her son because that's what she does in her marriage.
You need to stop babying your son and tell him he was wrong. It's unacceptable to come home, act like that and then blame your partner. Talk about serious ick.

Tbh I hope she dumps him. Grown man coming home behind sick on himself and the bed! Ick.
Not even the decency to go hone to his own place when she clearly said 'no' to him coming back there late.

Have a word with yourself. I don't like to blame women for men's behaviour but I think she sussed your parenting choices out and decided it was time for the consequences to bite you on the ass, not her.

Can't believe you're mad at her! Ridiculous!

Team GF too. She was holding him accountable, not being “dramatic”.

You obviously think your son is a prince among men however?

I’m guessing you don’t have a daughter, OP. Well done to the GF for having solid boundaries. If she didn’t care about him she would have put him in a taxi to your house at 2am. Instead she made sure he was safe and delivered him to you rather than leave him alone to potentially choke on his own vomit. She works out everyday because she wants to and she can. She sounds like a strong, young woman.

I am team girlfriend. Good on her.

She's my hero!

Been together for eight months and that's what she signed up for??? Hell no!!!

You're married to your significant other and share a home with him. The girlfriend is merely a girlfriend and doesn't even live with your son. She has no such obligation to him.

You signed a contract; the girlfriend didn't.

She sounds great, your son sounds like a total prat - probably because his mum enables awful behaviour. If someone acted like that after I’d only been dating them 8 months, I’d dump them.

Also why are you adding pointless info like “she has a trust fund”. That’s just a snide comment. Also, should she fund your son just because she has more money? No.

He has behaved badly & should apologise. Celebrating an exam is no excuse for getting so off your face that you can’t look after yourself & then verbally abusing your girlfriend after turning up uninvited. He’s lucky she even let him in.

Your son is an utter twat and you are an enabler.

Is this thread ever going to end?

Maybe not until it gets to 1,000 posts and the OP decides not to start another one.

The GF did look after him, she left him with his cheerleader/mother.

She sounds very mature and thoughtful, unlike the son.