Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

I did those exam and passed and went out to celebrate. I managed not to rock up to my boyfriend’s house shouting about food deliveries and puking all over myself. You know cos I’m not an idiot who treats my parent with such disrespect.

Your attitude is shitty. No wonder your precious son thinks it okay to behave like that when you think that’s your job as the little wife to clean her husbands puke and shower him cos “that’s what you signed up for”. I’m married I really don’t remember that part of my vows “I will love and shower you when you puke because you can’t handle your drink” it wasn’t on mine!!

Yes we look after our love ones if ILL and help ensure they are save. She’s been with him 8 months and said no to his visit. Should probably should have dropped him back at his own house rather than mummy’s home but clearly she felt you’d appreciate him puking in your house. Lucky for you he didn’t eat the food.

The only thing you should be doing is firmly saying to your son that he needs to apologise sincerely and make it up to his GF and explaining (as I’m sure you must when he was a teen) that excessive drinking isn’t helpful to anyone

8 months isn’t long enough to put up with that shit.
I’d feel the same as you op, but you’ve got your mum goggles on

Lot of arse left here on this plate I found. Don't suppose the OP is coming back to claim it.

Go GIRL!!!!

Try teaching your son manners and how to drink responsibly.

As for her, PROUD she stood up to him! This is how all girls should be taught to not put up with this crap.

Someone said on another post today I read, it states along the lines of having a vagina doesn't mean we're better at housework. I loved that quote.

Shoe on the other foot would you be happy for her to come to ur house, 2am puke all
Over your home, wake everyone up who has work to go to in a few hours, have delivery food arrive, have your son clean up drunken puke for
Ages, strip and clean and change
Beds and happily leave her in a state in the morning?? Course you wouldn't!

He and you are lucky she did what she did and didn't chuck him to yours at 2am where you would be cleaning up the bed. Hope she bills him for a deep clean. Your son owes her a huge apology. And so do u for this post.

I am completely with the girlfriend on this like practically everyone else. Only eight months together, they don’t live together, he got so drunk he threw up multiple times like some idiot teen so she dropped him with his parents. Can’t believe you think she should be taking responsibility for that clown show! Maybe a few years down the line when they live together but quite frankly, she is absolutely right to wash her hands of it now.

Don’t be that “boy mum” justifying awful behaviour. He went to her house completely wasted at 2am, knowing she had to work the next day, asked her to order him food, was sick a few times including in the bedding and you think she overreacted and was unfair in having him paying her taxi? I can’t understand how you aren’t mortified that your son treated his girlfriend like this. He has no right to be upset, in your place I would be telling him to man up, apologise and find a way of making her feel appreciated. And of course clean her house and wash the sheets he got dirty too

Good on that girl. As a mother of a daughter I applaud that girl.

i applaud that girl for standing her ground, for having a job when not required, for being disciplined enough to take care of her health.

An fraud - 🤣 she’s not booked a holiday she’s taken a cab home to clear up his chaos.

#teamgirlfriend

flowers, a new set of bedding and massive grovelling from your ds is required.

and to your point, they are not married - no where near - and after 20 years I’d be livid if my dh had done this and may well have sent him home to “mummy”

Me too.

Yep, #teamgirlfriend. Your son has behaved like an utter dickhead. Hopefully he'll learn from this. Maybe you will too.

Good on her. I have 3 sons btw. She has set a bar.

A woman with standards is no bad thing. Yes he got pissed that's fine to go and be moany with her? That's too far. She looking after him and he gave her lip? That's where abuse starts. He hopefully won't pull that on her again

I am so fucking proud of his girlfriend. She won't be walked over like lots of the women have been here (including myself!)

You don't want her to use his bank card but also want her to treat him like he's her husband?

Jesus - none so blind than those who will not see!
Just cos you would be a doormat and 'look after' your drunken husband doesn't mean your DS's GF has to be.
You are not helping him by telling him she is in wrong. He was a dick and she was perfectly entitled to do what she did.

Yep. ‘Thats what she signed up for’ only works one way it seems.

Hello financial crime manager. I also worked in financial crime previously.

I totally agree with the fact that she took his card to pay for her taxi home, but thought I'd mention that bit to you, as all the financial crime managers in our organisation would deem that important in deciding whether it was, in fact, a financial crime. She took it intending to use it.

If she took him back to his house & he vomitted & inhaled it & died what would you have said then. she did the right thing & you should thank her rather than making excuses for the man child you have reared. Don’t be surprised if she dumps his sorry ass.

I’ve updated my comment further on the thread as hasn’t seen the bit where she used it with mums awareness

When I read posts from people asking about advice from “shocking husband behaviour” I wonder what the MIL are like.

You are the very problem.

He was told not to go to her house. He ignored her wishes.

Your option that taking his bank card is fraud is bonkers! She’s paying for a taxi to return, a taxi she shouldn’t need as your son had been told no.

I think you should be more concerned that your son was told no and didn’t listen. That was very disrespectful. You shouldn’t be endorsing this behaviour as “looking after your spouse.”

The GF is not you, you are not relevant in this situation and shouldn’t compare yourself to her. He crossed her boundary and she’s enforcing her self worth and respect. What a powerful woman.

I am pretty certain you don’t have a daughter?

Poor woman. His behaviour was disgusting and disrespectful. She sounds great. Although she could have sent him home it was actually safer to send him to you so that was kind of her. Also his housemates didn't deserve that. I think he may loose this awesome girl over this. He owes her a major apology, new bedding, cleaning her house etc.

It's not fraud don't be an idiot. He treated her very disrespectfully, knew she had to go to work but still went to hers drunk so she couldn't sleep. He sounds immature and she sounds well rid of him if that's what she decides

Well I think that relationship is dead in the water! After 8 months he turned up at her house uninvited, threw up everywhere and he's annoyed at HER?! I hope she runs as fast as she can!

Team GF here. I have 3 daughters and I hope they would do the same thing.

No but I am going to now !! 🤣

She’s not his wife.

He acted like an idiot and instead of inflicting him in his housemates she took him to his mum. She sounds fantastic

I'm the wife of a (thankfully now recovered, former) mummy's boy. This post made my vagina grow over. 😏#teamgirlfriend