Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

The more you write about the girlfriend the more of an impressive young woman she sounds actually. She’s got her shit together, gets up early to go to the gym most days around work, has a 9-5 when she otherwise might not need to and has her head screwed on re what she may or may not accept from a boyfriend of a few months.

I actually hope she finds this thread one day and sees how many strangers were supporting her.

Maybe your attitude is why your son behaves so badly.
If my son behaved in this appalling way he'd be sleeping on a park bench not in my house.
You havent once addressed your son's disgusting behaviour. All you've done is slag off his GF.
My daughter in law wojld not tolerate this kind of thing and Id back her all the way. As it is DS is a decent human being.

@Chrisia

Just to hammer it home, using your own words, here is everything he did wrong:

1. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up.
2. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this. (And he asked HER to order it).
3. Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.

He was an arsehole wasn't he? Honestly, read that back, he behaved horribly.

She would't have had to pay for a taxi at all if he hadn't behaved the way he did so she took the reimbursement - it's irrelevant what money she has or doesn't have - he behaved awfully. It's not unfair at all, he brought it on himself.

She couldn't leave him alone so she brought him to yours - where I presume he lives - because she was being responsible. You say yourself he was in a state (hours later, so he must have been fairly mullered when he reached her).

DS has NO right to be upset with her, he behaved appallingly. Why in his 26 years have you not taught him what responsibility means? Poor girl.

Oh my enjoy the roasting OP

Getting drunk did him no favours.
What a way to behave.

I love her, love her boundaries. Good on her!

Honestly if you thought she’d acted OTT but you tore a strip off your son and told him to get his arse round there and apologise with flowers people may have been slightly more sympathetic.

But the fact you and your son are acting hard done by against the only person who has acted with responsibility in this grubby tale is breathtaking.

And can I ask, does she have a trust fund? You’ve not made that clear 🤣

Sorry @Chrisia but it seems really selfish to disrupt someone's sleep for no reason and then lose your temper. He should have had his night out and gone home to bed.

I hope she dumps him, he sounds awful and you sound like the judgemental MIL from hell.

What an absolute joke. Married or single, it wouldn't be my responsibility to nurse some drunk prick who'd woken me up in the early hours and spewed over my bedding. If you've tolerated behaviour like that then more fool you, OP. Personally I think the GF is a legend.

He behaved like a teen and she was not BU to get him to pay for taxi back. Why should she be out of pocket. He was being a twat and frankly I think it was a slick move to take him back to his parents! Much lols
She isn't his wife and they don't live together and he was sick everywhere so frankly she'd had enough

I mean it's not ideal of her but he's the one who got himself into such a mess so, YABU.

GF sounds absolutely amazing.

Level headed, emotionally intelligent and still got up to go to the gym at the crack of dawn despite having had hardly any, if any, sleep due to the actions of your childish son.

He is 26 not 16.

He is a grown man.

Do you really think his behavior is acceptable?

Good for her ! sending him back home to Mummy is exactly what he deserves
and
did you really want him to possibly choke to death on his own vomit at his girlfriend's home ?

baby boy needs to grow up, respect his girlfriend's boundaries and apologise lots and lots to her - hopefully she will forgive his childish drunken behaviour, this time.

Point taken. I guess if DH turned up in that state now I would be more inclined to think there's something seriously wrong with his mental state, maybe. I still wouldn't order him food at 2am or let him have a go at me though. Especially after 20 years of marriage. F... that.

He was a dick and has some growing up and groveling to do - he says or things she is supposed to Love him but the reverse is also true - why would you do that to someone you love? BUT she shouldn't be taking his card without permission that is theft, she can ask for the taxi money back from him by all means but not taking like that in my view.

I love her, love her boundaries. Good on her!

Completely agree. She has good self esteem and isn't going to tolerate him walking all over her. She is 1000% correct and I'm full of admiration and wishing I had been as smart. Her parents have done well.

Op, she doesn't need a man who behaves like your son. If he wants to stay with her then he will need to sharpen up. Re the bank card, it's the least he could have done for the inconvenience he caused her. I hope he apologises sincerely and learns from it.

@Chrisia do you mean a dramatic response from you?

Clearly you are unimpressed by a woman who has solid boundaries and will not enable your son the same way you have.

More power to her elbow.

she will eventually dump him. It’s just a matter of time.

That you had the chutzpah to post about this tells me that you don’t have much in the way of self awareness.

Not a good thing to take the card but tbf she probably thought she'd never see the money again. She's clearly careful with her money (maybe her dad taught her that.)

Its in the 1st post, the last sentence

DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be

This is a genuine question, but are you saying you and your DH have been drunk you've thrown up over yourselves and/or your bedding?

Completely understand vomiting into a toilet - I've prayed to the porcelain gods a few times 😂
But, vomiting over myself or on my bed, I've never done when drunk.

He is not her husband though is he? Just because you were married after 6 months that means nothing in this situation

Team Girlfriend, she’s a legend 🥳

Oh she sounds wonderful! I’d love to have such a no nonsense daughter in law one day!!!

OP I do get it, he is your baby! And clearly he just celebrated abit to hard (which happens to EVERYONE) - this situation really doesn’t sound like a massive life altering deal! You’re son is not satan as some weird posts above suggest, and she is also not being a prick.

She is totally in her right to call him out on being a momentary arse - I’m sure it will happen again if they stay the course!

I think it’s a mums job to protect and see their child as just totally wonderful- as we should! I can imagine being the exact same with my boy when he is older. I think it’s a partners job however to help them grow the fuck up and realise love is not unconditional - sometimes you have to show up and be your best self (with some slip ups obviously as we are all human)….He will be better for it.

Send him on his way today and tell him to go bloody make it up to that fantastic women!

Actually I’ve reread your post and although she did technically use the card without his permission, she made you aware that was what she was doing so your option was to get the card stopped then and there.

He can report to his bank but it’s not been lost or stolen, his gf has basically taken money that’s rightfully owed to her.

So yes if you want to report her on a technicality but if the fraud department hear the full story I think they’d be on her side