Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

Ah no. If the GF posted this scenario on here we would all be telling her to LTB. I guess she thinks enough of him to care that he had someone looking after him but he behaved very badly and has a lot of grovelling to do.

you honestly think he can do no wrong don’t you? I think she had the perfect response to his actions, hope she dumps this Mummy’s boy

I meant to add,my darling mil thinks the sun shines out of dps arse
She really thinks he can do no wrong (we laugh about this) but if he ever did what your son did,she'd rip him a new hole and the rest (not that he would)
Your son needs to be on his knees,with a bunch of lovely flowers,expensive chocolates and a grovelling sorry
Not 'I'm running back to mummy and she'll back me up on how unreasonable girlfriend has been for not putting up with my shit,and then mummy will write on mumsnet and expect 1000 women to back us up'
Why is the trust fund important?she shouldn't be out of pocket for his shit

I honestly think most of these responses are unreasonable. And no, I don’t have a “low bar” or “low standards”. As a financially independent person, my DH has to actually enhance my life, or what is the point of being married or in a relationship?
So, I would NOT tolerate the vast majority of what people post on threads on here.
I would not tolerate lies, or deceit or disloyalty of any kind. I would not tolerate laziness, lack of buy in to family life, him not pulling his weight with the mental load, lack of interest or support of me and my career, lack of generosity, tightness or lack of/bad sex. For me at least, my DH getting shedded and behaving like an arse maybe once every 2-3 years isn’t really relevant, probably because I occasionally do the same. And he is my person 99.9% of the time. Are all the posters on here really so perfect, with perfect partners? I think not.
if you expect perfection in life, when none of us are perfect, I think you will be destined for disappointment. Obviously, he should not have behaved as he did. But, for all we know, he’s mortified now (as he should be). Chalk it up to experience and move on. If it becomes a regular thing, that’s a different conversation.

Without sounding overly 'dramatic' the GF is going down in mumsnet history as the young woman who knew her own boundaries and owned it 👏

This is strong female energy ! At 40 never learnt this

Definitely responsible , nature and btw she clearly loves him

You should mention her trust fund one more time, just to make sure everyone know that you don’t like her.

OP, I understand the anxiety about unearned wealth - but all he has to do is not vomit all over her to benefit from it! And she works out, which it sounds like he might also like! She sounds a keeper with prospects!

He should be buying her flowers, getting her bedding drycleaned and grovelling for her forgiveness as I doubt he will ever find a better woman than this one.

Quoting myself as I re-read the OP and have changed my mind since seeing that your son is upset with her.

He should end the relationship immediately if he seriously thinks he deserves better treatment than he received.

He sounds like an entitled twat and TBH I feel sure she can do far, far better than him.

Well done to his GF for not putting up with that crap

They are not married though, and she isn’t responsible for your son.

He needs to take some responsibility here, have you brought him up to be a selfish twat, because that is exactly what he has been here!

She didn’t overreact here, she has every right to be absolutely livid at being woken up at such an ungodly hour,for vomiting and not cleaning it up and for him acting as if she is in the wrong.

the only overreaction is coming from you and your idiot son (only child I’m guessing)

Are all the posters on here really so perfect, with perfect partners? I think not.

@Idontknowwhattodo78

LOL I'm certainly not perfect but can confidently say I have never showed up smashed at a loved one's place in the wee hours, spewed all over their bed, shouted at them and then acted butthurt when they were cross with me about it.

And if you have behaved like that at any point, you should probably take a hard look at yourself.

But, for all we know, he’s mortified now (as he should be)

He's not mortified, the OP says he's upset with his girlfriend as he thinks she's been unfair to him.

@Idontknowwhattodo78 Did you miss the bit where the GF specifically asked him not to go to her home? And he did anyway? At 2am?

The puking and the shouting etc is all terrible, but the going round there in the first place is completely disrespectful.

As far as I can see, the GF has not threatened to LTB. She just didn’t want him to rock up at HER home shitfaced at 2am. He didn’t listen, he disrespected her and she dealt with it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Why are people so sanctimonious? I bet most of us have been in similar situations occasionally. Unless ir is a regular occurrence, surely we look after our partners and they look after us? We are human. We make mistakes sometimes. She sounds mean. And I am assuming she has never had too much to drink or been irresponsible EVER!

Your defence of him in the light of his awful behaviour is really quite something.

My ex-husband came home in the early hours and vomited all over the bathroom - leaving me to clean it up in order to use it. I gave him short shrift and the notion of "looking after him" - he was pissed at the age of 26, just like your son - makes me snort with laughter.

I hope she buys herself new expensive sheets with his bank card.

Oh dear OP. Your misogyny is showing? Why don’t you go out and bladdered tonight, and then come home and see whether your DH is up for cleaning up your vomit.

Your son may be a CFA, but he’s still a useless lump of manchild that’s got two women cleaning his vomit; putting up with his food antics at stupid o’clock in the morning; and expecting one of the to be prepared to fuck him. WOW! That’s some disgusting level of entitlement he’s ended up with. The absolute least he can do, is pay for the taxi back for his (I would imagine) ex-girlfriend.

Well done her, and least she has some self respect.

I wonder where he got his entitled bratty attitude from OP? 🤔

I hope we get a post from the girlfriend or her mum to say she’s dumped your son for his appalling behaviour (you skirted over him shouting at her- sorry that you’ve been made to believe that this is acceptable). Girlfriend should be proud for setting clear boundaries.

Team girlfriend!

1. She said if he was going back to hers it shouldn't be after midnight - it was two hours later and she had work today
2. He got there, threw up and then yelled at her when she sent his food away - he couldn't keep food down so a bit rich for him to be angry
3. Presumably she called you at the hour she did because she had to get on with her day - bit inconvenient for you, but they aren't married and they don't live together, why should she play wifey after his behaviour?
4. You need to leave the trust fund out of it, I find it gross that you even mention it - I am glad she has a good job she likes

Most of us have got a bit three sheets to the wind once in a while, but she had a separate celebration planned for him and was clear on her boundaries the day before she had to go to work. You're coddling him - he's 26, not 16. He needs to learn he reaps what he sows, don't you want him to be a good partner? He wasn't a good partner on this occasionL he crossed boundaries, threw up and yelled at her - none of that her fault. I'm surprised you aren't sympathetic to her.

Not tolerating the behaviour exhibited by OP’s son, especially in a new relationship, does not constitute ‘expecting perfection’.

Totally this! I can't believe you expect his girlfriend to pay for the cab because her father bankrolls her - your ds is not her father's responsibility. He should pay for the taxi fare. Bloody mummy's boy needs to grow up! Your ds has behaved like an idiot - his girlfriend is right not to put up with this kind of shit and I hope my dd would do likewise.

Ha ha ha - so anyone who hasn’t turned up at a sleeping partners despite being specifically told not to, puked up on their bed and shouted abuse at them is sanctimonious then?

Seriously are some peoples standards that low that they find that sort of behaviour acceptable?

I’ve been drunk before as have many of us but I don’t know anyone who has acted in such a piss poor way and then been defended by mummy The gf did NOTHING wrong, this is all on him and he should be grovelling not sulking

Do you live together? I’m guessing if either of you got shit faced you’d go home. He didn’t go home, he went, uninvited, to his gf’s home and proceeded to behave badly.

Your DS's girlfriend has good boundaries.

I applaud her.

You DS has a lot of grovelling to do if he stands a chance of keeping her