Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

I wish boy mums would understand that womankind does not usually get the same version of your sons that you do.

If that’s hard to understand then imagine you have a daughter being treated disrespectful by a version of your son.

Silly me, sons are perfect according to their mothers aren’t they 🙄

Right now you should stop finding fault! Your son was drunk and I would not even have let him in if I were the girlfriend. And he'd get a cleaning bill.

I know you love your son, and this may be the only time this has ever happened, but the girlfriend was kind and treated him in a responsible manner, as I said, I would not have opened the door. Her finances are really nothing to do with anything, she is not responsible for him.

The GF is my hero! I hope she also makes him
pay for cleaning her bedding and for a coffee and pastry post work out.

Your DS on the other hand is a idiot and not her responsibility. It was self inflicted and he deserves everything coming to him. Although from your comments OP I can quite see why he has “grown up” to behave like this.

He didn't need to get so drunk, he just did. His mum hasn't had to post, she just did.

In the scheme of things, he's got pissed, been sick, and there's been a fall out. Things happen sometimes in life that are not the wisest, no one has come to any harm.

I wonder if all the posters criticising have never done anything a bit daft or to get on some else's wick.

I just think perspective. There are many things in life that are far more serious.

This.

I wish I had her spine even now in my 30s let alone 20s.

Leave her trust fund out of it. Not cool.

Jesus your son needs to grow up! That’s disgusting behaviour from him & fair play to his girlfriend for standing her ground and not putting up with it.

That’s certainly not what I meant by in sickness and in health. Luckily my husband doesn’t behave like this.

What a shero !

Well done her, I wish I'd have done that with my ex.

Maybe you should have a word with him about his behaviour. He was an verbally abusive dick last night/this morning and he should apologise and learn from it.

Your son is the one in the wrong. No judgement, we've all gotten ourselves into some drunken states. But yes, the one you need to have an issue with is him.

I think she was actually pretty kind in the situation. I wouldn't appreciate being woke up at 2am. I wouldn't have even bothered answering the door never mind ordering food for him, putting up with his vomiting all night then getting him home safely. Why are you expecting a woman to mother your adult son?

This is hilarious. So your son was an awful tw@t and she should take it? And absolutely he should pay for the taxi.

Honestly the fact that you’re blaming the girlfriend for this instead of your son is appalling, and makes me think your son has likely been raised to be an immature man child who doesn’t understand accountability.

Good for the gf for not making his poor behavior her responsibility. I hope she ends the relationship if this isn’t the first time something of the sort has happened or he fails to sincerely apologize and take responsibility.

Of course we have but him and his mum have decided the GF is out of order for her perfectly reasonable behaviour! That is what is really grinding our gears. He acted like a twat, fine, it happens. But for him and his mum to be pissed off because his GF sent him home?! Wtaf! That is why we are so critical.

Oh yeah I see now 😳.

This reminds me of my ex and his mum
He didn't need an excuse to get plastered-any time,any place
He showed up at mine one night,around midnight,plastered and pissed all over my clothes that where hanging up in my wardrobe
He aimed at my dress-the one I was planning to wear the following day for a special occasion
Another time,he aimed at my new shoes (I was a skint single mum and had saved so hard to buy them-i hadnt even worn them)
He was sick all over my bed-and passed out on it
Another time (why didn't I get rid?!) he shat all over my bathroom and passed out on the landing

His mum not only couldn't see he was in the wrong,but she thought I should just clean up his mess,with a smile and move on (which is what she did when her ex pissed all over her wardrobe-twice),while having a go at me for 'allowing' him to get into that state in the first place

I was unreasonable for laughing and dumping his arse

He of course was whiter than the driven snow and totally innocent

Over 15 years in,I'm still in the wrong for not putting up with him

Big difference between getting a wee bit too drunk and throwing up in a toilet in your own home and what he did! Most people have had a few too many and been sick. Most people also don’t pester people that are working tomorrow that they don’t even live with and throw up in a bed 🤢

I haven't RTFT but taking his bank card is NOT fraud. Taking it and using it without permission is. She likely took it so he wouldn't go back to the pub and waste more money. Another example of how she looked after him throughout this scenario.

Christ you remind me of my mother in law

your kid is not a golden child . Tbh he’s probably a bit of an arse .

tbf someone should have told you this twenty years ago

The girlfriend sounds like she 100 percent has her shit together.

Despite being financially secure, she works a full-time job that she clearly takes seriously (and is one that few people can afford to do even though it contributes to community culture), keeps herself in great shape and was kind enough to ensure her boyfriend's wellbeing for the day despite his absolutely disgraceful behaviour the night before.

He should be buying her flowers, getting her bedding drycleaned and grovelling for her forgiveness as I doubt he will ever find a better woman than this one.

You should be sending her a thank-you note for dropping your son back at your house rather than kicking him out onto the street.

And your own standards for men are way too fucking low.

i wish I’d had strong enough boundaries at her age to do what she did. Absolute respect and kudos to her for not tolerating an appealingly behaved man child.

We all see our kids through rose tinted glasses at times but surely you can’t justify his behaviour? And you’re on here slagging off a strong woman for refusing to take shitty behaviour from your golden child. Get a grip

You should be thanking her not criticising

Oh OP you really need to take those rose coloured glasses off.

Your precious son came home, woke her up when she had work the next day, demanded she order him food, was unwell all over himself and the home to the point at almost 6am he’s still in a state that maybe she didn’t think it was safe to leave him and your blaming her??

He isn’t her husband and it isn’t her job to look after him.

👏 👏 👏 LOVE to see this. LOVE it! 😂

GF was right. He was acting like an irresponsible twat getting. So wasted.

she is being responsible and leaving him with you.

he should be embarrassed he threw up everywhere and that she made him leave and doubly embarrassed she took him back to mummy.

the conversation with your son needs to start with you bollocking for him embarrassing you like this, for ruining her bedding and that he should replace it and for acting like a absolute twat.

#teamGF

The GF sounds like a very wise young woman. Good for her.

Maybe the OP has put up with a lot of shit from men in her life and allowed herself to be treated as a doormat. Seeing how the GF operates has been a bit of an eye-opener.

Be honest OP, do you feel like someone who hasn’t really got their shit together and this much younger and rather impressive woman has made you feel inadequate? (Might also explain the completely irrelevant comment about the early morning exercise classes).