Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

Good for her!! So what if she has a trust fund?!
He threw up all over her bed which is vile and caused her loads of inconvenience

#teamgirlfriend here. So refreshing to see a young woman with boundaries and not tolerating any shit.

Great girl - hope your son has learned something from this.

Good for her.

I hope she keeps those boundaries and the strong sense of self worth.

No it’s not. If she left him there and he choked on his own vomit and died what would have happened then?

he turned up at her place unwanted, he threw up several times in her flat including on he bed, he was abusive towards her and doubtless she’s had hardly any sleep yet still wanted to get up and on with her day.

GIVE THAT WOMAN A BLOODY MEDAL!

they’ve been together 8 months, I’ll be amazed if they make it to 9.

instead of feeling sorry for poor DS how about get him to take responsibility for his behaviour, pay for a deep clean of her flat, new bedding/ mattress if required and a heartfelt apology.

If this was my son and his gf I’d still be on team gf and I’d give my son a good talking to!

she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up

SHE DIDN’T WANT HIM THERE, HE STILL WENT. WHAT ABOUT THIS IS DIFFICULT?

Your DS is lucky his girlfriend bothered to get him to your place instead of kicking him out on the street. Such irresponsible behaviour considering his age. Whilst not your responsibility either as he was acting like a kid it probably made sense to take him to Mummy who clearly sees no wrong in him

And why are so many people saying "But she's not married to him so she doesn't owe him anything". Once you tie the knot are you supposed to forgive everything? What the...?

Missing the point much?

Standing up to poor behaviour and holding him accountable? She’s a keeper. except for the bank card thing, she should not take that without permission.

Clearly she's been brought up properly to have boundaries and respect for herself. I suggest you teach your son how to behave instead of making excuses for him. I'm being harsh. But little boys do need to be taught how to grow up and how to treat women. Congrats on his passing his exams. But this is no way to behave.

She sounds like a legend, good for her taking no messing! He will hopefully think twice before getting drunk and treating her like that again. Why should she pay for his taxi? I do the same if my husband of 20 years came home like that 😂

She isn't his wife though. Good on her. He should apologise profusely! Your son has behaved like a dick.

My god! This is MN at its very worst. Dump him for having a bit too much to drink? Have none of you ever had a bit too much to drink when celebrating a big event? I bet you have, I know I have. Many years ago now DH had to hold my hair whilst I threw up after celebrating a big promotion a bit too much. He has never held it against me and I loved him all the more for it. As long as this is not a regular occurrence (and I mean once in a blue moon) I would have been amused. I’m with you OP, gf was being a bit precious

You'd be amused at a bloke you've known for 8 measly months throwing up all over your home, waking you in the early hours, and shouting at you? You really need to raise the bar JFC. Any man better than no man, eh?

Yuck, I’m not sure I’d have let him in at 2am in that state, tbh. She did his housemates a big favor by taking responsibility for him. Gross.🤮

There's a massive difference between being drunk and going round someone else's house at 2am, waking them up, throwing up all over yourself and their bed and shouting at them. Then having to spend all night cleaning them and your stuff up before going to work.

If you genuinely would be okay with a boyfriend of 8 months doing that then your standards are not high. They are in the fucking gutter

Your comment about finding people disappointing. She's 26, she's presumably dealt with drunk people before. And again a big difference between holding your friends hair back in a club and them waking you up and vomiting all over your flat.

Oh absolutely - that girl has her head screwed on.

No it’s really not. She has shown where her boundary is. Fair play to her. Hopefully one less woman who puts up with terrible behaviour from their partner who then doesn’t even apologise because his mum thinks it’s ’not so bad’. I suspect a lot of her reaction is about how he’s behaved and his attitude since waking her rather than the act of being a rubbish drunk.

Another one! It wouldn't matter even if she was!

She stood up for herself and didn't take his shit. She also sent him to yours likely for his safety so he didn't choke on his vomit alone if he was in a state.
Try and see this through the eyes of her mum and think how you would feel.

You'll make a cracking mil one day ... she did the right thing bringing him to you instead of leaving him alone.. if anything had happened to him you'd be crying why didn't she at least bring him to us...

It happens to the best of us. We’re human! I’m sure she’ll get in a similar state at some point. Like you, I’d also let it go. If it became a regular occurrence then that’s different. I can recall getting in a state a few times over the years and my husband picking up the pieces and the same with him going too far.

Our teenage kids only said a few weeks ago they’d never seen their dad drunk. well that soon changed. He saw an old school friend from way back and when low and behold… he got in a terrible state. Consequently, I had a lot to do that night and the next day but I love him, he’s my best pal, so we just laughed it off.

I guess I feel like if it were my husband I'd look after him as that's what I signed up for.

But he isn't her husband, they haven't event been together a year and don't live together. It's his prerogative to get wasted, but he should have gone home where he'd have to clear up his own vomit rather than go to hers

He shouldn't need looking after.

You dont like her and it shows

I wouldnt of let him eat either, it would of caused him to be sick even more

His an adult, yes he was celebrating but to be that drunk, his vomiting in my house, nope, i wouldnt be dealing with that.

She was right not to leave him alone, and she took him to your house, fair enough

and what has it got to do with you how often she works out? Are you jealous ?