Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

Excellent boundaries from the girlfriend! How embarrassing for your son to treat a woman like that only for his mum to defend him lol

Errrrm. I am 100% with her on this.

I wasn't the one who decided his mother was his next of kin.

Very unkind and sarcastic response. Completely unnecessary

My DD also did very well in her ACA exams. She actually came third in the country (Proud mum boasting there). She certainly celebrated hard but managed to do it without vomiting in someone else's bed. In fact she didn't vomit at all.

I wonder if the OP would be so forgiving if the girlfriend had been sick in her sons bed? Somehow I doubt it. She can't seem to do right for doing wrong.

But he’s not her husband. They aren’t married.

she did look after him! She didn’t contact you until the morning!

Well, it was his mother that started the thread and was underplaying his behaviour so ... 🤷.

FFS, I have heard it all now! The GF sounds awesome and has her priorities right!

Come on. This was not just a drunken night. The girl friend told him not to come over. He did, rudely, waking her up. He proceeded to puke all over her house and then shouted at her when she was helping him. How fucking DARE he be upset and annoyed with her. He wasn't just drunk, he was absolutely trashed. You may find getting that drunk acceptable, I do not, and I am in no way against drinking. He should be begging forgiveness and doing whatever it takes to clean her home.

Well no, you brought up his mummy. If you had said daddy, the response would have been the same. “His daddy didn’t etc etc” The OP is the mother in this case. Your outrage is still misplaced, the person at fault here is the son, not the GF. Amazing that on a site of mostly women, it’s the GF that you blame on this situation 🤔

She didn't "accept responsibility for him", he didn't give her a choice, so it was coercion. If this was your DS, I bet you would have been angry as hell if she had refused him entrance, and he had aspirated his vomit somewhere or gotten robbed and beaten as he tried to make his way to his home and died. Taxis and Uber can and do kick people out if they vomit in their vehicle.

OP doesn't have to "thank" the GF for waking her at the crack of dawn, but she sure as shit needs to talk some sense into her NVSSDS.

Don’t be ridiculous. After 8 months and not living together you really think she has “signed up” to taking responsibility for this kind of mess?
YABU. She sounds great!

Because there's no mention of a father in the OP. For all I know he's divorced, dead, lives in a different country. I couldn't possibly comment about him

Round of applause for the GF. It's good to see the example of a young woman with self-respect who won't take this kind of shit from an entitled manchild.

Absolutely this!
if she was my daughter I’d be advising her to block his number and drop and off his stuff in bin bags.

She sounds effing fabulous 👌🏾.

She doesn't need to tolerate such disgusting behaviour, but was kind enough to take him to the safest place.

And why should it be at her expense?

But @Chrisia they are not you
They are not married. They do not even live together.
He drank so much he vomited over her flat and her belongings.
He showed no respect for her work or feelings.
If she had stopped him sleeping on a work night, vomited over his belongings, demanded he supply food and been rude would you have been so forgiving?

Good for her refusing to be a doormat and enforcing boundaries.

He was ridiculously bladdered to be throwing up everywhere - how bloody revolting .. he’s an adult now a teen .
This girl has boundaries .. I have 100 respect for her and you should be on her side OP instead of enabling his behaviour .
Id have done the exact same in her shoes

Team gf here. If you think his behaviour is ok and she’s the one being unreasonable then no wonder he’s like that.

Your sons an arse.. well done gf for not putting up with it and not well done mumsy for condoning shit behaviour

Yeah, maybe if they were married. But they are not married, have been together a few months. He’s shown up at her home (not their shared home), puked everywhere and stopped her sleeping. I take my hat off to her, it’s great that she’s got such fantastic boundaries. I’d be livid.

I also admire her behaviour! I wish I’d been that clued up about relationship at that age…☹️ I wouldn’t take the bank card though.. I think that’s unnecessary.

Bloody hell, @Chrisia If your son was 15, I could just about understand this behaviour, but at 26?

No way.

Completely unreasonable, {I am the mother of a grown son} his Girlfriend was absolutely sensible to bring him home to yours, in case he was sick and aspirated his vomit, as is quite possible.

He was completely out of order to get so wasted that he was sick and made a mess all over the GF's bedding.

Ok, all of you parents with children in their 20s put their hands up now, and let posters know that your young adults have never come home shitfaced. One of mine vommed on a night out abroad, 2nd one boked on their friend's parents' floor (it really was the parents' fault, plied them with strong cocktails all night at an18th), not used to drinking, 3rd has come home pissed as a fart a couple of times but not thrown up. They all drink rarely.

It has gone through my mind