Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

I just also wanted to praise his GF, she sounds like she has excellent boundaries!
I’m sorry OP but I think it’s awful that you feel this is normal behaviour that women sign up for, it really isn’t.
Your DS was disrespectful and behaved awfully. His behaviour is not her responsibility at all and he should know better, the drinking culture in the UK is very toxic and labels this kind of behaviour as boys just being boys, it’s so wrong,

That's a bit harsh, we have all made mistakes

Same. My mother raised me with good boundaries and I'll be doing the same for my DD.

My job as a partner is not to be woken 2am by a vomiting, ridiculously drunk man and look after him, and then work all day.

Am cringing for you. This must be what 2nd hand embarrassment feels like.

1. He ISN'T her husband so she hasnt "signed up" to clear up a man-child's vomit.
2. Taking a card isn't fraud 😂
3. Please stop blaming everyone else apart from the person responsible.

He's not his GF's responsibility either. His mother's his 'next of kin' which is almost always the person called when someone has any kind of emergency - so she's the natural person to go to here. Definitely not the GF.

People are allowed to work out—I do it most days.

So, you would be fine if your DS's GF just dumped him out on the sidewalk so she could do what she needed to do? Who would get your anger if your DS got robbed, beaten or aspirated his vomit?
Or would you expect the GF to give up her time and day to care for the little boy-man?

It was the dud's issue, not his (hopefully, soon to be EX) GF's issue.

Not her circus, not her clown car.

Yeah but she isn’t married to him and she didn’t sign up for this. He behaved terribly - just because he worked hard doesn’t mean he gets to show up at her house and behave like a teenager. It’s pathetic.

You obviously don’t like her.

Bit sexist. Maybe his father is his next of kin, why does the mother have to deal with it?

So what - you'd have left the manchild alone to potentially choke on his own vomit?

Or you think she should have cancelled her plans to pander to him?

The GF sounds fab. It sounds like your son behaved poorly. Surely you can see that?!

Unsure why you think she "signed up for this" - just because your standards are low, doesn't mean everyone else's are.

Still doesn't clarify why SHE should put up with it. Why should she? They're not married. She'd told him not to go back to hers but he did...waking her up...honking up and being a selfish twat 🙄

@Aquamarine1029 oh your response made me laugh! Because, IRL I am known within our friendship group as the “scary wife” the one who takes no shit. Ever. And I really don’t. But I AM tolerant to the very occasional getting shedded for a big celebration. I’ve done it. My DH has done it. And I really can’t believe that 17 pages of people here haven’t done it? My standards are massively high, but I can forgive an occasional drunken night out. And if the GF can’t? I think she will find people (not just men, because I’ve had many nights out with female friends who’ve got battered too) disappointing. There are worse things - read any thread on here to show you that!

I agree we all make mistakes. I think the outrage here is that boyfriends mum is being critical (and judgemental) about the girlfriend not playing nursemaid to her son.

The appropriate response from OP would have been, "thanks for making sure he was safe, I'm sorry you've had to put up with such behaviour, I'll be having a strong word with him when he sobers up and wakes up".

Why is he annoyed. She sent him a message that he ignored and then was massively sick. Rather than lose time at work and exercise she gave him to you to look after

I'd be splitting up with someone after 8 months if they woke me at 2am were sick on themselves and my bed covers and were shouting at me.

Mummy didn’t do a very good job of raising him, if that is how he behaves. Your hypothetical fury should be aimed at your son, not the GF. GF did the right thing and hopefully she dumps him.

That's why I already said upthread that the OP should be reading him the riot act.

I wouldn't be cleaning up my sons' sick if one of them got in that state. If their GF accepted responsibility, which she did, I wouldn't thank her for a 5.45am phone call. She should have sent him home, his home not his mother's, at 2 am.

no offence OP but just because you would be ok with something doesn't mean that it is right, or fair, or appropriate
"in sickness and health" doesn't include dickish behaviour.

in her place, this would be finished for me and tbh I would be sending him a cleaning bill because I wouldn't be cleaning his vomit in this circumstance.

probably not a good look to take his card but you should be focusing on your son's behaviour, not hers.

I hope I’ve brought my daughter to be as strong! Honestly if you don’t think her actions are justified I gobsmacked. Perfect response from her.

Because his mommy and daddy live together? Maybe the OP should have awoken his daddy and let HIM sort his WPOSDS's "issues".

Actually, she should have dumped him out on the sidewalk and let nature work its magic. He would have sobered up quickly at that point.

But she hasn't signed up for this. They've been dating for 8 months, not living together, not engaged, not married. They should be in the honeymoon period of this new relationship. This is absolutely not her having signed up to look after your poorly brought up, disrespectful son.

I hope this is a wake up call for her to reconsider this relationship, and I really hope she dumps him for this awful behaviour. She'll have a shitty MIL if she ends up married to this dick.

She sounds like a great young woman with strong boundaries. Well done her.

Oh right it is always the mother's fault. How about his dad? Maybe he had some input. Amazing on a site for mothers that mothers always seem to get the blame.

Sorry, but this needs to make it on to tiktok or the DM so that the GF can know how brilliant we think she is