Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

I can imagine my DD doing the same, I'm very proud of her

Yes, I have misjudged my alcohol intake a handful of times in my life, all in my early 20s. I have never gotten drunk enough to not be able to get the vomit into the toilet, to not be able to take care of myself, or to still be seriously impaired hours later.

what op describes is not a bit of misjudgment where the drinks are going down a bit too smoothly, it is intentional binge drinking. You have to get really drunk to act like her son.

Your son was absolutely hammered, not just a bit drunk.
The vomiting is bad enough but being abusive to her is a hard no. There's been the odd occasion over the years when DH has got wrecked enough to be sick but he got giggly, not once was he abusive to me. That is the far more worrying trait your son is displaying.
If the GF was my daughter I would be telling her to get out now.

Well if she left him and he choked or something you’d be berating her. My friends called my parents on my 19th bday to come and get me as I was paralytic and they couldn’t control me and I wasn’t safe to leave. I didn’t blame them, and now 20 odd years on I completely get it and hope my 19yr old friends would do the same. His Uni friends dropped him on his head during a drinking game and he had concussion when he arrived home for summer, so perhaps not!

Why is the OP criticising the GF's behaviour (and the fact that she has a trust fund and gets up for a workout)?

It's the DS who should be criticised.

The OP should be supporting the GF and telling the DS to grow up!

Yeah just to add, I have been absolutely pissed in my time, but never have I turned up at someone's house when they had work, thrown up everywhere, and then shouted at them.

I really, really hope the gf reads this thread #TeamGF

Personally, I just hope she drops him. She deserves better than a 26-year-old man not respecting her AT ALL and treating her place like a puke pail.

He acted like an irresponsible person and got treated as such.

Well done girlfriend I say!!

She sounds brilliant. I wish I'd been so ballsy when I was her age.

I would not tolerate this from my own DH. Now or when we were dating. 20 years ago DH was sick in my mum's bathroom sink after we came back from a wedding. I didn't even have to tell him to clean it up. He left the bathroom more pristine than it was initially. And he didn't come back to our bedroom until it was all done. And trust me, he felt very ill while cleaning up but he had to take responsibility.

Oh dear OP. You clearly don't like her at all. You go on about her trust fund - that's her business and she works out every day. And? She is a creative - is that a bad thing too?

I have a DS and would absolutely be apologising to her on his behalf and I'd be kicking my DS up the bum to sort himself out - how embarrassing. I would not blame her at all for dropping him home. If I was the GF I would be absolutely fuming with him turning up at my home at 2am puking over my sheets. It also doesn't matter how much money she has - it is obviously important to you though for some reason. Also you say you'd look after your DH as that is what you've signed up for but unless I've missed something, they are not married so she hasn't signed up for anything. She's obviously making a point with the bank card but the rest of it I really don't think you can blame her. The blame for this fall out lies with your DS I'm afraid.

So he's passed 'the hardest exam the world has ever seen' but got hammered, gone to his girlfriends house threw up all over and come back to mummy's house to be looked after?

Sounds academically clever but socially thick. It happens. Perhaps he should spend a bit longer revising how bigger boys behave now he's got time on his hands.
Oh and OP, you say you've got no idea why she works out every day? Erm to stay fit possibly? Guessing you wouldn't pass the terribly hard exam what with your reasoning skills.

@Chrisia thread not going how you planned?!

I think people are reacting to the OP judgemental and bitchy comments about the GF mostly.

My DH and I met in our 20s.

I have been married to my DH for more years then I would care to admit, but I have never had to clean vomit (due to excessive drinking) from the bedsheets or worry that he wouldn't be safe to leave alone after a heavy night out. It's just not respectful.

Your boundaries are really skew and you seem to resent / dislike your DS' girlfriend because of her financial circumstances.

Because your DS's girlfriend has a lower paid job, you seem to be expecting take on the role of a supportive wife nurturing her husband's career. This isn't the 1950s and they are only dating.

I feel like this is all so fucked up it must be a reverse or something.

This!

This girl is a legend; I hope she sees this thread and realises she can do a lot better!

I hope she has cancelled until the twelfth of never.

Very impressed with the GF. You’ve been fluffing your son too much

Team GF here too.

Tell us about your upbringing @Chrisia and what do you and your DH do for work?
The picture you're building isn't at all pleasant.

Good for her.

Fair enough your son wanted to celebrate, but she didn't agree to have him puke all over her things and shouldn't be expected to have to sort him out.

If I were you I'd be telling him he owes her a big apology and I hope he's cleared up the mess he caused in your house too.

She'll also have dodged a bullet on the MIL front.

Who the hell would stay involved with a man whose mum thinks it's her job to clean up his puke and tolerate his abusive drunken behaviour?

They aren't married and hopefully never will be. She hasn't signed up for ANYTHING!

A husband and an immature, dickish BF are not the same.

could left him to choke on his own vomit cos he rendered himself incapable is the alterntive? yea you are bu.