Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

I also don't get the comment about her working out everyday, lots of people do that. They can do it for a myriad of reasons, but mostly, it's good for the human body to move in a variety of ways daily. It's a really weird thing to criticise her for, it's like criticising someone for eating vegetables daily.

😂 it’s not fraud. You sound unhinged tbh.

If my daughter did that I’d be soooooo proud!

I'd buy that girl a beer 👏

@Chrisia why the hell would he think it was ok to turn up at his girlfriends house at 2am and then demand that she order food before puking all over the place??? Does he live with you?? why not just come back to yours?? if he cant hold his drink, he shouldnt be drinking!!! no sympathy for him!

Wow?

You'd have preferred her to head off for her days activities, leaving your son alone, free to vomit in his sleep and choke on it?

She did absolutely right, and you even begrudge her taking his card to pay for the taxi back to wherever she was meant to be (I mean she's already paid for the takeaway he was too ill to safely consume, cleaning her floors and bedding, taxi to yours so he can be safe... I don't think him paying for a taxi ride is fraud FFS!)

Be honest.

Your son is a total arsehole who treats other people very badly.

You don't like the girlfriend as she has had the fortune to be born into a family with money, and she works hard both to keep herself fit and healthy and to do something constructive/useful in life...

She's far kinder than I'd have been. I wouldn't have let the stinking puking twat back in my house in the first place. Doors would have been locked and he'd have had to find his own way home.

If that was my daughter I'd be very proud of her not putting up with that behaviour.

Sorry OP, I’m with her (although I probably wouldn’t have taken the bank card!). If I had to wake early and my DP came to my flat in that state, throwing up and being a nuisance I would be fuming. He was already with you so he should have gone back with you. His fault and I think she had every right on little, broken sleep to be pissed off.

He turns up at her place, not his, drunk, pukes all over her bed, orders food in the wee hours and shouts at her?! Fuck me, he'd be gone if that was me. And you think she should put up with all of this because she loves him?! There is a level of behaviour people, men or women, should be able to expect from their partners at all times and your son fell way below that standard. Yet HE is annoyed at HER? Fuck that noise. Good for her for setting out her boundaries. If he thinks this is acceptable, she would be better off dumping him. Especially if he comes from a family where men are allowed to behave badly and women are expected to tolerate it.

My god! This is MN at its very worst. Dump him for having a bit too much to drink? Have none of you ever had a bit too much to drink when celebrating a big event? I bet you have, I know I have. Many years ago now DH had to hold my hair whilst I threw up after celebrating a big promotion a bit too much. He has never held it against me and I loved him all the more for it. As long as this is not a regular occurrence (and I mean once in a blue moon) I would have been amused. I’m with you OP, gf was being a bit precious.

He behaved pretty badly and he was in a potentially unsafe state to be left alone.

She shouldn’t have taken his card for the taxi but he would have needed to reimburse her when he sobered up. It’s of no interest to your family where she gets her money from. And as you do care, why should her dad pay for your son’s taxi?

well he should of behaved better, that said if in a relationship in theory you are ment to be there for each other but if he said x and did y then what did he expect etc

They aren’t married though, and if your ds carries on like this they aren’t likely to be.

She specifically told him not to go fo hers but in his pissed state he rode roughshod over her boundaries. They he threw up in her home. He is very lucky she’s still in a relationship with him. If this was my ds I’d be telling him in no uncertain terms that he should bloody well learn to respect his gf’s wishes. I wouldn’t be agreeing that she should have looked after the piss head and the fact that you don’t seem at all put out by the state he’s got himself into is slightly worrying. If his expectations are the result of behaviour he has witnessed at home then you’d better get used to this. Most self respecting women wouldn’t tolerate this sort of thing.

And her financial situation has nothing to do with this. Do you think she should fund him because she has a trust fund.

Christ, raise your bar OP, because her generation of women absolutely has!
So from her POV her relatively new BF, who she doesn't live with, turns up at hers, despite being told not to, at 02:00.
He wants food but is so wasted she has to order for him.
He gets aggressive with her for sending it away as she’s already dealing with his sick all over her flat. Probably 02:30/ 03:00 by this point and she has a flat covered in biohazards and an aggressive drunk on her hands.
She has to be up at 05:45 at the latest, which he knew, and in that couple of hours she might have been able to sleep it sounds like he’s been sick at least once more.
As a mature adult she gets him somewhere safe – a very sensible move on her part as it sounds like he was sick yet again at yours, so she’s saved her soft furnishings and potentially his life.
She so hasn’t cancelled ‘until he’s feeling better’, she’s cancelled because she knows she’s worth more than this, especially in her 20s and less than a year in. He’s perfectly entitled to get as messy as he wants, but the second he makes that someone else’s problem then I think most sensible women would nope out of there.

Bravo that Girlfriend. I hope she dumps him and finds someone worthy of her.

From your attitude OP it's loud and clear why a 26 year old Man is acting like a selfish teenager.

Amazing how many people who have the smarts to pass exams like that are completely and utterly devoid of common sense and interpersonal skills 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wouldn't put up with that shite if he was the one with the trust fund!

This has got to be a joke.

I guess I feel like if it were my husband I'd look after him as that's what I signed up for.

Yeah, she isn't his wife. She hasn't signed up for this. She's his girlfriend of 8 months. She sounds great, I wish I had had that sense of self worth and confidence at her age. She did look after him. She reminded him to go home, then she ordered food, then she cleaned up after him and then she made sure he was safe at yours for the day.

Do you know how many times a boyfriend has puked on my bed? Zero.

OP SHE IS NOT HIS WIFE

Also be thankful she accompanied him in the cab and he should be gracious about paying her return fare. She could easily have just chucked him out.

Stop making excuses for your pathetic manchild. And if he does end up with this GF as his permanent partner then be grateful she is a strong woman with a good work ethic and with the desire to keep herself in shape.

Your DS is an immature arsehole. She did the right thing.

Haha love this.

#teamgirlfriend here

Clear you don't like her very much from the undertone of your remarks. Hope you've told you're now hopefully sober boy to apologise to her.

To be fair he sounds like a complete arsehole and it seems like you think he can do no wrong! Who gives a shit about his girlfriends income?! The very least she deserved from your child of a son was the taxi fare back! Absolutely disgusting behaviour from him!
What she should have done was dumped him outside and tipped the takeaway over his head! I wouldn't want to see him again after this, she needs to find someone with a bit more respect for her! Like other people said, he's an "adult" 26 years old, not a bit of a kid, he needs start behaving like one!

The 1950s called, they want your opinions back.

The girlfriend is a legend, I salute her. Who wants this shit 8 months into a relationship.

I hope that your son goes grovelling, with flowers, apologising for his horrendous behaviour.

And then I hope she tells him to fuck off and that she does not want to continue a relationship with a grown up who behaves like an immature teenager.

Amused at your home being made filthy by a disrespectful puking boyfriend and then being shouted at for trying to help? Fucking hell, I don't think your standards could be any lower.