Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

I cannot honestly believe you OP, that you can be so bloody blinkered. Your son’s a twat, his girlfriend is a keeper (although I suspect he won’t get the chance) the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Did you wrap him up and bring him Lucozade, paracetamol and tea and toast all day until he’s feeling better? Is that what you expected from the GF?

I strongly recommend, as the mum of a son who has done well at his ACA or whatever they're called, you warn him that his behaviour was unacceptable, women do not exist to clean up and protect men, that she has good boundaries and he needs to shape up.

If he's lucky, he may grow up to earn her loyalty and be a keeper. But he'll have to make an effort.

If you criticise her to him, you will be doing him a massive disservice.

I think GF didn't send him there as it's a shared flat so to avoid his flat mates also having to go through this.

Also if he was still so drunk there was a risk of vomit inhalation being at his mother's was the safest place.

YABVU

He behaved like an arse.

She behaved like a sensible adult with boundaries and didn’t want him to choke.

That you think she’s behaved unreasonably leads me to wonder what type of behaviour you have previously tolerated from your husband.

They are GF and BF but if this immature behaviour is standard, perhaps not for long. And it’s certainly not justified by the darling little boy having worked VERY hard on a VERY IMPORTANT AND DIFFICULT exam 😂.

I’m holding out for the GF’s post about her BF’s unreasonable mother!

I’m shocked you think her response was dramatic, although it does explain why so many women on here have husbands who come home blind drunk and vomit and pee everywhere. I can’t imagine wanting to have sex with someone who I’d seen vomiting in my bed as a result of his own poor choices.

Don't know whether to laugh or cry.

GF needs to start a podcast on boundaries. she will be minted!

Card- yup, for the take away and transport cost to 'handle' your son.

I too come from a money background and I am very generous-too generous-; however, I never allowed anyone including girlfriends to take me for a ride.

You ask for 100 loan tp pay back end of month? yup, end of month I will be: my money please.

dated someone I liked and I knew he didn't have much money. I stopped paying for our transport and cinema trips when I saw him giving money to some money to some friends he knew. Stopped funding in full or suggesting outings. I felt used and hated that. I guess he just felt I can cover for us both, so he wanted to show to his friends he had a bit of spare cash when he had nothing. We were at uni. Never been taken for granted by a man ever since/ or everyone for that matter!

This has to be a windup! OP your son was an idiot, good for his gf for asserting her boundaries. If you didn't want him dumped at your house, why didn't you send the taxi on to his own house?
Hopefully she'll run for hills from this man child and FMIL from hell.

Your DS behaved very badly.

YABU

Your Ds's GF was not unreasonable. Your DS behaved like a selfish arse. I'd be so so angry at being woken by a drunken man at 2am and then he throws up. He has behaved like a stupid selfish teenager, and she was quite right to say so.

I guess I feel like if it were my husband I'd look after him as that's what I signed up for.

No you didn't. If your dh starts treating you like shit or doing something revolting you don't have to put up with it.

He doesn't live with her she told him not to bother coming then just turned up anyway expected her to sort food then no doubt clean up his vomit and you think she is the unreasonable one!!! She should of ordered him a uber as soon as he turned up then you could of ran round after the entitled fella.

Good for her! I have three sons and if they had behaved like this I would have been mortified. I wish you'd post this again so I could vote you are being unreasonable again!

I don't think his girlfriend is the one causing the drama here. Good on her. She can have whatever job she wants, get up when she wants and set boundaries in her life and she is perfectly entitled to. She didn't sign up to 'look after" anyone.

He behaved extremely badly but I also dont think it's fair to ring anyone at 5.45am except in the case of emergency . His behaviour was hardly his parents' fault either and a workout is not an emergency.

I think that'll be the end of the relationship.

You have taken against a young woman who has strong boundaries. If you repeat one word of what you've said here today to her or to your son - as it will go back to her - then she will use those boundaries to stop having a relationship with you. Then it's up to your son - if she is still interested in him after this then it's very likely he'll side with her and seldom see you.

Get off your high horse. He drank too much, turned up far too late at her house when he could have gone to his own, vomited everywhere, demanded food, kicked off when she sent the food away (knowing he'd only vomit that up as well) and then cried to his mum when she sent him away rather than put up with him moping around her place all day. He's completely to blame.

Your son sounds like a cocklodging nightmare

I'm not sure if the Op has low standards for men's behaviour in general or she's another DM who thinks her son can do no wrong. Sorry Op but his GFs under no obligation to clean up after him, it was his choice to get that drunk. Your son's obviously clever enough to pass some hard exams but that doesn't give him a free pass to behave like a 15 year old.

What a fantastic young woman! If my son ever marries, I would love it to be to someone like that. She is awesome!
keep her, get rid of him!

BUT HE IS NOT HER HUSBAND!

why do you keep repeating that you would feel responsible for him if it were your husband? It's irrelevant. They don't even live together, so why should she be responsible for a lazy man child? If it were your husband you couldn't really chuck him out of his own home. Her house isn't his home so of course she can chuck him out of it, let alone not be expected to look after him (which it seems like she actually did, given she cleaned up his sick and put him in a taxi).

You should be grateful she brought him home, if he was still throwing up after he got to yours then it would have been dangerous for her to leave him alone at hers to potentially choke on his own vomit. Not to mention it being completely reasonable for her to not want to come home after a full day in work to have to clean up ANOTHER load of vomit.

You sound really condescending of her 'low paid creative job' too, most people would think it a positive character trait for someone who didn't have to work to commit to a career they are passionate about rather than live off daddy's money, and also commit to a regular gym schedule for a healthy life.

She sounds great tbh, your son sounds like a mess.

She sounds brilliant!

💯 agree with you and everyone who has said the same.

#TeamGirlfriend.

It can be so depressing reading thread after thread from wonen puttimg up with shitty disrespectful behaviour from.boyfriends/partners/husbands.

But thread has made my week.
A women who knows her worth.
The gf is fantastic.

I like your sons GF

Not RTFT but I wish I'd had her boundaries when I was younger 💪

Just to add another voice to the majority telling you YABU. I think this tells you that you have some reflection to do about what you think is acceptable for yourself in a relationship. Also how you have contributed to raising a man who thinks that’s appropriate behaviour and calling his girlfriend ‘dramatic’ - VVU of you. I hope you share this thread with your son and both of you have a good hard look at yourselves.

Wow, way to down play it. He behaved appallingly, how can you make out like it is no big deal and the GF is the one with the problem??

There is a massive problem with double standards with what are expected from boys/girls, men/women and it starts with the standards set by parents.

A bit? If he was pucking it was way more than a "bit".

OP, your son is useless and I hope his girlfriend dumps him. She deserves better.