Boyfriend not coming back from holiday

[Madnessinblue]

Boyfriend had gone on a business trip and extended by a few days to spend time with his friend. He won’t tell me when he’s coming back as he is undecided and says he just needs a break. It started with one extra night to now on day 3.

Now normally this would be understandable. However he has hardly been spending any time with me over the past few months as he has been so busy with work and life.

I asked a few months ago if he would take a holiday with me (it’s next week as I have time off work) and he said he could not spare the time off of his work and that he also could not afford to do it. He does however seem to have the money to fund a trip with his friend and lavish fine dining meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner plus super expensive bars for a few extra days at a luxury destination.

AIBU?

Oops not "beastie" but "waste".

What’s the point. Even if he has the relationship sounds dead in the water to me.

I think he has someone new and is potentially on holiday with them now. I'm so sorry - please don't waste anymore time on him

Why are you even asking?

I think actions are speaking louder than words here.

Yes. It is. Tell him you don't want to waste your time and effort on someone that clearly doesn't value you. Don't discuss it. Don't ask for his side, just tell him it's over pack his stuff up, leave it outside and ask for his keys back.

He's trying to get you to break up with him. He doesn't want to do it himself.

I think you may have to accept that it's over between you.
Move on and don't look back. Don't have him back either, he's not worth it.💐

I’m sorry but it doesn’t sound like he wants to make the relationship work.
if I were u I’d tell him you don’t like the way he is treating you and you want some time to yourself to think things thorough. You deserve better.

Sounds like he wants out of the relationship but hasn’t got the guts to finish it. So he’s pushing you into finishing it. Tell him it’s over.

I’m sorry but it sounds like he’s just not into you anymore, hold your head up high and ditch him, he’s not worthy and sounds selfish and self absorbed. And it sounds like he’s lying to you about things too. Always trust your gut instinct, I regret not listening to mine before and wasting years on twats that didn’t deserve a caring girlfriend. I now have an amazing man and im so glad I got rid of the last inconsiderate twat. I’m sure you’ll find someone better in the future too who will make you see how rubbish this current one sided relationship is. Please ditch him.

It sounds as if he has moved on and is hedging his bets. Sorry to say, you've become his stop-gap.

It's done. Just end it.

If he wanted to holiday with you he would. I’d call it a day.

Has he posted any pictures with others from work while away??

How do you know for definite that he is away for work purposes and is with a work colleague he has known for years even though you haven’t met the person?

you say you have been together 3 years and that you don’t live together and also he has children he sees , are you involved with his children? Reason I am asking is because it sounds like he is lying to you!
Things don’t add up and I have read all your posts. He is being very secretive,have you met any of his work colleagues or any of his friends/family’ as it seems he is leading a double life and using you especially if he keeps on coming out with excuses all the time to not go on holiday or spend any time with you, you need to seriously think about your relationship as clearly your not his priority.

I'm afraid it's over.
Unfortunately, he lacks the courage to tell you.
Walk away, head held high.
Don't beg

Dump. Move on.

OP it's hurtful and I think you know this deep down but it's too painful/difficult to fully acknowledge - but the clear fact is that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. It's ok, move on, be single, enjoy that, be open to finding someone who will put you at the centre of their world - not treat you like shit, as this man is doing

So do yourself a favour and and tell him it’s not working out for you. Your life doesn’t depend on him. And hold your head up. Take your time to be upset and then get your shit together

I apologise if it comes across rude I don’t mean to. I have adhd

When I read your first post I thought- he's there with a woman.

And I was going to say 'call him and if he doesn't answer but texts back straight away or, calls back 5 minutes later with an odd excuse, that'll support my theory there'.

Then I saw your moring update.
Yup. He's there with a woman. He's being seeing her for 3 months.

Just block him, no dumping or messaging, just block him on everything.

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in life, it’s to trust my gut. If you feel he’s making excuses and trying to reduce the amount of time he’s seeing you I feel perhaps the relationship is not right and you should move on. I think if you stick around, you’ll end up wasting your life on someone who’s not really into you. I’m sorry for you, but I think perhaps a serious conversation is needed

He trying to ease you out of his life. I think he's hoping you dump him. Just do it. You deserve better.

This doesn’t sound good, with silver lining you are not enmeshed in living and financial situation or DC.

I would take this as a natural break in the relationship and be making plans to move on without him. Better to do so now than further down the line with someone who gives you so little priority.

I think you're right. Awful, awful man.

His lecture to you about trust is to shut you up and stop you asking about it when he is back.
makes for an easier life for him if he can convince you you are being out of order.
classic tactic.
if you do see him and he harps on about trust, point out that if he didn’t do things that screamed ‘untrustworthy’ you wouldn’t even be having this discussion.
but my advice is to simply be busy. Be indifferent. Let him hang for a while in the unknown. I mean he’s already told you that’s perfectly acceptable.
however I imagine it’s one rule for him and another for you.
Then just end it in a couple weeks along the lines of, yes you’re right. I no longer trust you. So that’s that.
And be prepared for him to make it all out to be your fault. Unfortunately that’s what useless men (who seem to be having their cake and eating it) do.
Just remember, YOU didn’t end the relationship, HE did by his actions or lack thereof.
Actions speak so much louder than words.
try and enjoy your birthday op. There’s much better yet to come into your life.