Refuse to chip in

[MumOf2Here]

I have a friend who is pregnant and due her baby in 2 months. A few weeks ago, another friend (who im not particularly close with) said she really wants to throw a baby shower for her and told me it will be a “no child baby shower” so its not too loud and hectic. I told her that was fine and will make childcare arrangements in advance. Fast forward 3 weeks later, she’s messaged me a template of the invite and is suggesting we all “chip in” for a bouncy castle. I was abit surprised and reminded her you said no children? She then said she changed her mind because another friend who has a 2 year old and a 1 year old have to come so for entertainment she will get a bouncy castle and will allow children to now come.
She is also asking me what she should do for food and who would be willing to
cook a dish??
AIBU to reject her demands as the whole idea was hers, from the time, date, location, dress code and now suddenly i have to pay £40 towards a bouncy castle and now think
about what to cook for her? ontop of buying a gift for friend.
Why would I fund the entertainment?

My boyfriend said im overthinking it and to just do it - Is this normal
though?

I wouldn’t pay for the castle. That’s ridiculous, just say you have sorted child care and it needs to be child free like it was planned.

Invoice her for the childcare costs you now owe despite not needing the childcare any more.

Edit. Dress code? A fucking dress code? She can piss right off.

I wouldn't pay for the castle either. Personally I dont like baby showers, really dont see the point of them, it's just an unnecessary added expense.

What the hell is the dress code about????
I think I would suddenly have somewhere very urgent to attend.
Some unexpected emergency.

I wouldn't pay for a bouncy castle but I would contribute some food. (If I was going. Baby showers aren't a thing in my friendship group so think I've only been invited to one and I couldn't go anyway.

It sounds like the sort of event where the organiser gets overexcited and then four people show up on the day. I’d tell her it’s all too much. There’s no need for a bouncy castle or a dress code. And lots of people are not in a position to fork out £40 plus party food plus a gift. The event needs to be scaled back.

I did actually say to leave it as child-free but she said as it’s the holidays she won’t have anywhere to leave her kids!

and yes a dress code - A “fancy floral maxi
dress”
Which i dont own lol

I did actually say to leave it as child-free but she said as it’s the holidays she won’t have anywhere to leave her kids!

YNBU to reject her demands for money towards a bouncy castle as it is unsuitable entertainment for one & two year olds anyway, plus it’s a ridiculous amount of money to pay for an afternoon.
The baby shower is supposed to be about the mother and her future child, not a party for loads of kids.
I’ve personally never been to one, as they didn’t happen when I was younger but the ones I’ve seen online have been more like a tea party with a few quizzes or games such as guess the baby names etc plus gift opening by the expectant mother.

and yes a dress code - A “fancy floral maxi
dress”
Which i dont own lol

A bouncy castle? It’s a baby shower, not a village fete. All sounds way over the top to me.

Here the guests organise the babyshower and split the cost. But that's essentially some cake and quiche at someone's house or a park. Nor gonna pay for a bouncy castle for someone else's kids.

Substitute “decline” for “refuse” and you’re not being unreasonable. No need to turn this into a conflict. Do what you want. Don’t argue, suggest, interfere, bitch. Turn up, be nice, then go away and forget about it.

Just decline. You can congratulate the expectant parents some other way.

I wouldnt attend a baby shower where I was told what to wear. Absolutely ridiculous.

It's all about her. She can pay. You don't need a bouncy castle for one and two year olds.
Personally I wouldn't attend.

You aren't the cohost are you? Why do you need to chip in for anything.
I've not been to too many baby showers but unless you are hosting isn't the expectation that you'll just come with a gift which 'pays' for your place.

"I am SO sorry but I just checked my diary and realised I am double booked as I will have norovirus that day! I will send X a gift xx"

Sounds horrific

and yes a dress code - A “fancy floral maxi
dress”
Which i dont own lol

Can you wear something floral? Like a top if you have one. Or just a lei flower garland? If you don't or don't want to just ignore and I certainly wouldn't buy a dress. Never heard of a dress code for a baby shower!

And no wouldn't pay for a bouncy castle either. I would be prepared to bring along one dish and everyone else could do the same.

Let her fuck off!! Bow out of it entirely!

I'd be busy that night.

£40 each for a bouncy castle !!

I could manage a floral maxi but honestly, what happened to a couple of bottles of wine and gossip & nibbles in someone's garden while opening baby presents?

I wouldn't attend any baby shower that was anything more than coffee and cake at the expectant mum's house.
Just bow out.

This. And a dress code is batshit.