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Original poster

To stalk a stranger in A&E

602 replies

TheRozzers · 26/06/2024 22:13

Witnessed a nasty accident today. An elderly lady had a fall in the street and was bleeding badly. I was coming back from the gym and had a towel with me so used it to help stem the bleeding and stayed with her until the paramedics arrived. Others helped too.

We were talking to her and trying to reassure her as she was very distressed and in a lot of pain. I'm pretty sure she's broken a bone.

I asked if there was anyone we could call. Partner, children, friends. She said she had nobody.

I can't stop wondering how she is, she's probably in the hospital A&E corridor and will be for the next week knowing the state of the NHS.

I have tried to call the hospital to enquire after her but no answer.

Would it be really weird and stalker like to go to the hospital and check up on her? Maybe take her something to eat and drink? I know her full name and date of birth so assume I could track her down?

Or would that be an invasion of her privacy?

It's also quite late now.

OP posts:
EnglishBluebell · 27/06/2024 03:13

I would maybe keep trying to call to make sure she's still there and then perhaps drop off a bag of things for staff to give to her?

EnglishBluebell · 27/06/2024 03:17

I'm not elderly but besides my young DC, I am isolated. I have no friends and the only adult family I have, aren't remotely interested.
This kind of gesture would warm my heart so much I'd cry for hours. Please ignore those telling you not to go 🩵

PoopingAllTheWay · 27/06/2024 03:18

They normally ask for an address.
If they dont allow you to see her, maybe you can always leave the things you have bought her with the reception team

user1492757084 · 27/06/2024 03:35

It's kind and a nice thing to do.

Her next of kin will thank you.
The woman, herself, will appreciate your care. You will know when to retreat and if you are doing too much.

ohnoi · 27/06/2024 04:36

I don't think you'd be allowed to see her or be updated if you're not next of kin
maybe if you went initially when she was in A&E. I doubt you'll be able to see her really but you never know. Maybe write a card with your details in to leave for her with an assumption you would more than likely not be able to see her.

TealPoet · 27/06/2024 04:39

I think it’s a lovely thing to do and I hope you can manage it :)

Fraaahnces · 27/06/2024 04:50

I certainly don’t think it would be weird at all to take her a bunch of flowers and some hand cream or something nice like that and check in on her.

FOJN · 27/06/2024 05:01

Rather than phone A&E you could call the admissions department, find out where she is and then call that dept and ask if she would like a visitor. If she is still in A&E and you can't get through on the phone you could go to the dept and ask if she would like a visitor.

I think as long as you respect her wishes there is no harm in trying.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 27/06/2024 05:10

I’m not elderly but if someone helped me if I had an accident, and was concerned enough to check in on me, I would be touched and certainly not offended.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/06/2024 05:11

I think it’s a lovely thing to do. 😊

Peacefulbeach · 27/06/2024 05:12

Definitely definitely check up on her, please. She has no one in this world and this would be kindness OP. Asides medical professionals you were the only human being there for her when she needed someone. There’s not enough if this in the world. Saddens me to see the odd cold reply on here about it being a weird thing to do -a reflection of how insular & selfish we’ve become. Ffs- please check in with her it’s not weird or unheard of at all you were there when she badly injured herself.

Peacefulbeach · 27/06/2024 05:18

Anyone on here saying it’s stalkerish- ffs give your head a wobble- you have a cold heart of stone!!!

AndSoItBeginsAtLeast · 27/06/2024 05:35

I once helped an old lady who fell and was very confused and hurt. She ahad a daughter but when I phoned her, she couldn’t care less!
I gave the paramedics my number and when I finished work later in the day I went to the hospital to see her. Like a PP said I took her some basic bits and some squash and nibbles, she was so so grateful. Ended up visiting her quite a few times, took her home when it was time for to leave.
we are still in touch now, I visit her regularly and we have a lovely friendship and she comes join us every Christmas as she has no one else
go visit her x

LovesGladdies · 27/06/2024 06:08

muggart · 26/06/2024 22:18

Thats so kind of you. Don't worry about being "weird", it is a lovely gesture and it sounds like she has no-one.

This.

Wordsmithery · 27/06/2024 06:55

TheRozzers · 26/06/2024 22:13

Witnessed a nasty accident today. An elderly lady had a fall in the street and was bleeding badly. I was coming back from the gym and had a towel with me so used it to help stem the bleeding and stayed with her until the paramedics arrived. Others helped too.

We were talking to her and trying to reassure her as she was very distressed and in a lot of pain. I'm pretty sure she's broken a bone.

I asked if there was anyone we could call. Partner, children, friends. She said she had nobody.

I can't stop wondering how she is, she's probably in the hospital A&E corridor and will be for the next week knowing the state of the NHS.

I have tried to call the hospital to enquire after her but no answer.

Would it be really weird and stalker like to go to the hospital and check up on her? Maybe take her something to eat and drink? I know her full name and date of birth so assume I could track her down?

Or would that be an invasion of her privacy?

It's also quite late now.

Fairly sure that if I was the lady I'd be delighted that someone had made that effort for me. Go for it. We need more kindness in the world.

EnglishBluebell · 27/06/2024 09:33

AndSoItBeginsAtLeast · 27/06/2024 05:35

I once helped an old lady who fell and was very confused and hurt. She ahad a daughter but when I phoned her, she couldn’t care less!
I gave the paramedics my number and when I finished work later in the day I went to the hospital to see her. Like a PP said I took her some basic bits and some squash and nibbles, she was so so grateful. Ended up visiting her quite a few times, took her home when it was time for to leave.
we are still in touch now, I visit her regularly and we have a lovely friendship and she comes join us every Christmas as she has no one else
go visit her x

🙏 You're a good person 🤍

Tagyoureit · 27/06/2024 09:45

@TheRozzers please do update us later! I hope the lady is OK!

Original poster
TheRozzers · 27/06/2024 12:17

I will update later if I manage to see her.

Was going to try and go this afternoon but one of the DC is off school with a temperature.

Other DC has a club until 7pm so will go after that.

Haven't managed to find out what ward she's on. No answer from the hospital.

Any suggestions on what to take?

So far I'm thinking toiletries, chocolate and a nice cold drink.

OP posts:
NippyCrab · 27/06/2024 12:33

Take in wipes, face cloth, toothbrush, some soap. Maybe a small Diluting juice, the little squirt bottles. I'm trying to think what my wee MIL wanted when she was in that she missed, apart from her vape lol 😆. A bag of sweets, boiled or toffees maybe? You're an angel OP 😇 I think she will really appreciate your kindness. Xx

AngelDelightButNotStrawberry · 27/06/2024 14:13

Not flowers as a lot of hospitals don’t allow them now (infection control due to the stagnant water). They cannot (shouldn’t anyway!) update you on any medical details but you can visit.

We’re only allowed to update parents (children’s ward), that’s it.

Seebeebe · 27/06/2024 14:26

TheRozzers · 27/06/2024 12:17

I will update later if I manage to see her.

Was going to try and go this afternoon but one of the DC is off school with a temperature.

Other DC has a club until 7pm so will go after that.

Haven't managed to find out what ward she's on. No answer from the hospital.

Any suggestions on what to take?

So far I'm thinking toiletries, chocolate and a nice cold drink.

You are very kind hearted and I know you mean well. But if you have a child home from school with a temperature, which is presumably due to an infection, perhaps you should hold off for now. Just in case you risk carrying a viral illness in to the elderly lady and fellow patients.

BrioNotBiro · 27/06/2024 14:40

Put a card in with whatever you take OP, explaining who you are and what you did at the accident. If she is asleep or if she wants a bit of reassurance who you are she can read the card first and give permission that she would like you as a visitor.

It's a lovely thing you are planning to do, a just a community-minded thing that would have been normal a generation or so ago. It's so sad that some people think it's weird.

DBSFstupid · 27/06/2024 16:33

Peacefulbeach · 27/06/2024 05:12

Definitely definitely check up on her, please. She has no one in this world and this would be kindness OP. Asides medical professionals you were the only human being there for her when she needed someone. There’s not enough if this in the world. Saddens me to see the odd cold reply on here about it being a weird thing to do -a reflection of how insular & selfish we’ve become. Ffs- please check in with her it’s not weird or unheard of at all you were there when she badly injured herself.

This!!

DBSFstupid · 27/06/2024 16:35

Peacefulbeach · 27/06/2024 05:18

Anyone on here saying it’s stalkerish- ffs give your head a wobble- you have a cold heart of stone!!!

And this^ 100%

helpfulperson · 27/06/2024 16:39

I wouldn't take anything. I would go and see how the land lies. Be prepared to leave immediately if she isn't pleased to see you. And if she is you can pop out to a supermarket and pick up bits.