To stalk a stranger in A&E

[TheRozzers]

Witnessed a nasty accident today. An elderly lady had a fall in the street and was bleeding badly. I was coming back from the gym and had a towel with me so used it to help stem the bleeding and stayed with her until the paramedics arrived. Others helped too.

We were talking to her and trying to reassure her as she was very distressed and in a lot of pain. I'm pretty sure she's broken a bone.

I asked if there was anyone we could call. Partner, children, friends. She said she had nobody.

I can't stop wondering how she is, she's probably in the hospital A&E corridor and will be for the next week knowing the state of the NHS.

I have tried to call the hospital to enquire after her but no answer.

Would it be really weird and stalker like to go to the hospital and check up on her? Maybe take her something to eat and drink? I know her full name and date of birth so assume I could track her down?

Or would that be an invasion of her privacy?

It's also quite late now.

Yes, especially after watching the Dispatches programme about A&E. she may well need an advocate.

I think it's a lovely thing to do and I'm sure it would mean a lot to her that you care so much. Wish more people were like this than those saying it's stalkerish 🙄

They wouldn't give out medical information but if you went into main reception and gave her name they would tell you which ward she was on so that you could visit her. (Don't take flowers though they aren't allowed in hospital these days, sure a cold drink would be appreciated. I always ask patients I've assessed if they want a drink as I'm leaving and get it from the cold filter and they are so grateful, the water in the jugs given out is warm and pretty gross).

Just to add my voice to the choir - no, it's not stalkerish, you clearly have enough tact if you worry about that. I think you could make a massive positive difference.

My mother lives alone in a different country from me and is getting frail. I'd be so, so grateful if someone checked up on her in a similar situation.

I think that's really nice of you and to be honest, I'd probably do the same.

It's a really nice thing to do for her. Very hard to be all alone in the hospital with nobody to bring you some things.

Perhaps you could drop off a card with your phone number in and some flowers, with a message to call you (she could borrow a phone if she doesn't have one) if she'd like a visit? Then she might or might not do it but at least you won't visit unannounced and she potentially be uncomfortable with it

What a lovely idea, I’ve actually done this myself. The relatives found out who I was and wanted to thank me , they were glad I went to find out. (I waited with a man for an ambulance who had collapsed alone at a bus stop and I was driving by)

Overstepping on her privacy? I should think she's mightily obliged to the OP and others who helped her at the time. If we all took the view of overstepping no-one would would get any help or support. I ruddy despair of people sometimes on here.

Take in a thoughtful gift, that way you can make it more about wanting to cheer her up rather than checking up on her. The world needs a lot more people like you, OP.

I think thats really sweet of you! I would do the same

I think its a lovely thing to do, OP, and it's heartening that the majority on this thread think so too.

Makes me feel sad some of the replies are very harsh, no wonder there are so many lonely people out there (I've work in care I've seen it). Go to the hospital leave your details and message, they can pass this on to her. It's not weird at all, I wish there was more kind and caring wonderful people out there like you. Good luck OP I hope you manage to get in contact.

No. It would be a nice thing to do.

I also think it would be a lovely thing to do. Take her some drinks or snacks or toiletries, go to the desk, give her name and DOB, explain who you are and ask them to ask her if you can stop by to see how she’s doing. And keep us posted!

Both you and the OP are just the types of people who give me faith in how utterly decent human beings can be. Hats off to you.

What a lovely thing to do. I think a lot of people would be very grateful if they had no one. Doubtful anyone would hate it. If you do go, magazines or something to read might be nice as well to distract from the mixture of boredom and anxiety of hospitals.

Yes please go and visit her I would do the same I can't bear to think how alone and scared she must feel..you're a good person op x

Another vote for a card with your contact details in, and travel toothbrush, mini toothpaste, deodorant and some baby wipes, so she can freshen up a bit. Explain the details and that you understand that as you're not next of kin they can't disclose her medical info, but ask them to pass on the care package to her if she's been admitted.

It’s a lovely thing to do, hope she’s ok.

That's a lovely thing to do.

This. A 1000 times over.

It's absolutely NOT weird.

I don't understand people that think it is in this circumstance.
This poor elderly lady has nobody. She is in a vulnerable situation, poor thing.
This is a human response to someone in need so I hope you manage to check on her. I'm sure she will be grateful!

I would have gone to a&e with her. I have done so in the past.

Absolutely yes, absolutely not stalkerish - caring and lovely come to mind. If you rub up against any process, then that might be the rules, and I guess that is that. But then you have done your best. The world should be filled with more people like you who actually give two hoots about other people. x

You sound lovely. Not stalkerish at all. I hope she’s okay x