I used to be attractive, how has this happened?

[Unattractice]

I used to be attractive. Not mind blowingly gorgeous but I felt attractive and had attention, I would get dates easily. Men were interested. I left the house feeling like I looked good.

I have an 18 month old. She sleeps so it’s not about lack of sleep. But I look awful! Honestly, my hair won’t take dye properly anymore, even at salons it comes out looking the same and still dull. My skin is darker with more brown patches. My make up won’t go on nicely. My face looks smaller but also saggier. Literally months before i was pregnant I look entirely different. I could make myself look good. I look shit now no matter what I do? Why?! Surely it’s not just childbirth?

I’m confused by your confusion 😄

It’s pretty widely understood that becoming pregnant, childbirth etc, has massive and long lasting effects on the mother’s body 🤷🏻‍♀️

If only it was my shoe dropping … it’s the work of a moment to pick it up again. Other things drop with rather more finality.

Yes they say girls steal their mother’s looks. It’s to do with the hormones that can make mums look a bit shittier when pregnant with a girl ( basically oestrogen overload causing bloat etc). And of course baby girls are prettier! 👶

Yup, my third was a girl. Felt amazing with the boys! That poster seems to be being obtuse though 🤣

I take Vitex and Milk Thistle to regulate hormones, a ovulation multivitamin (contains B vits, Inositol, q10, folic acid etc) to help with conception, a probiotic with turmeric and cod liver oil for vit A and D which I think is more bioavailable than synthetic Vit D. A couple of my supplements also contain Magnesium which has been a game changer in many ways but the biggest help was with this weird twitchy eye I developed around 11 months post-partum. These all may seem a bit OTT but I think so many nutrients are depleted by pregnancy and breast feeding that I need the boost. My hair, skin, nails and teeth are in decent condition despite being early 40s and I think the supplements help with that.

I'm very much older than you. Trust me when is say that you will look back at pictures of your young self with your children and think how lovely you were.

😂😑😭

I was an athlete, England B team in swimming and athletics. OK, not world class but today I'd have a zillion fuckwits following me on instabollocks paying me five threesomes a week and a billion quid in the bank.

I even made the now disbanded proprietary trader when it was the sexiest thing in the universe.

Roll on a couple of decades and money doesn't make you handsome, it just makes you more desirable. From female to male.

For male to female, we have never cared what you make, we are only interested in comparability and getting along. Give us that and we're good, unless the guy is broke of course, then kick the useless fucker to the kerb.

It’s sooooo shit being a woman and having to go through pregnancy and childbirth etc. if I could be reborn again I’d deffo be a man

U NEED to exercise MORE.
The more U exercise, the more UR body HAS to work.
Getting UR blood pumping around UR body.
Providing oxygen to the body, refreshing the areas.
Toning the muscles. Giving U confidence which WILL attract the men.
U WILL feel better about URself - which also helps to attract the men.
It IS a knock on effect. Exercise MORE
Good luck

Make sure you eat well, drink plenty of water and get enough sleep, condition and mask your hair, and I have been using Elemis superfood to wash my face it gives your skin a nice healthy glow. Picture included.

@PepsiMaxPerfect

women wanna look good for themselves not men

OP specifically talks about being attractive to men in her opening post though.

I dnt feel vaguely like myself anymore, I'm 40,and have a 7month old, I adore being a mum, but can't bare to look at my self anymore

This is a great post to keep in mind.

I remember I felt vile and disgusting when I had newborn photos taken with my first. I considered not being in them at all.

That baby is six now and I love those pictures of myself. I didn't look half as bad as I thought, and I was glowing with love for my new baby.

All of this to say- make sure you are in the photos, even when you feel horrible.

Reading all of these comments makes me so happy to be child free!

Can't say I've ever felt much different after having children. I have a 4 year old and I'm pregnant with my second at 39. I pour a bit of weight on but that was due to eating too much. I lost most of it before this pregnancy. I might be lucky but not everyone goes downhill after children. Skin and hair still decent. Who knows if there is a tipping point at mid 40s though.

You seem to be the outlier. Most of the posts I see on here only make me happier a**bout my choice, that's for sure.

Possibly but you probably don’t hear much from the people that don’t feel anything has changed.

I definitely think timing has something to do with it - having two littlies at the same time most definitely leaves less time for self care than with one! And being pregnant whilst caring for a 2yo there was barely time to shower 😬 But of course that was a choice (and not one I regret despite the toll).

Congratulations on your pregnancy btw.

@NotSoHotMess24 perhaps but I've had 2 miscarriages at in that time too (one at 20 weeks) and that hasn't affected how I look. I don't spend a lot of time on my appearance but do make sure my hair is brushed and I have make up on. I moisturise and take an interest in clothes but great doesn't take long

Well let’s be honest,a lot of women ruin their bodies with fat, smoking, alcohol, and sun without the cuteness of having a child to make up for it.

True, but most of those can still be reversed, you can't unfuck your hormones after having kids, that's forever. And let's be honest, all kids are not cute and many are quite horrible.

I know plenty of people that have had kids, they all look worse for wear afterwards.

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