I used to be attractive, how has this happened?

[Unattractice]

I used to be attractive. Not mind blowingly gorgeous but I felt attractive and had attention, I would get dates easily. Men were interested. I left the house feeling like I looked good.

I have an 18 month old. She sleeps so it’s not about lack of sleep. But I look awful! Honestly, my hair won’t take dye properly anymore, even at salons it comes out looking the same and still dull. My skin is darker with more brown patches. My make up won’t go on nicely. My face looks smaller but also saggier. Literally months before i was pregnant I look entirely different. I could make myself look good. I look shit now no matter what I do? Why?! Surely it’s not just childbirth?

I think pregnancy really depletes your body. Good nutrition is really important at this stage in life

That’s true

Thank you for this that, I've been feeling so unattractive recently and it helps to know I'm not the only one! My DD is a year and a half ish and I thought I looked ok until I went back to work when she was 10 months old. I have photos from my last month of maternity leave where I think I look great, but since then my looks have gone downhill fast. I'd say I look 10 years older. It must be tiredness! Good to know that it might improve when she's a bit older.

If you're doing the grooming that you mention and jogging twice a week, I bet you look better than you think you do!

It takes 2 years for your body to fully recover from birth alone. Never mind if you are breastfeeding and/or wrangling a toddler or other children too. Be kind to yourself.

Same here. I used to be very pretty, but after my second(surprise) baby at 40, now I'm a turnip.

I was a size 6 after my eldest.

Kids ruin your figure.

Size 6 after your eldest?! 😳

I was a size 10 before my first daughter was born 13 years ago. Since having her, my body is literally a total mess. She overstretched my abdominal muscles hugely (thanks to undiagnosed gestational diabetes and a huge 11lb5
5oz baby!)

Then I never really lost the weight apart from during my second pregnancy when I was on a low carb diet for the diabetes.

Now I'm 10.5 stone, size 12, perimenopausal with a muffin top, and feel a miserable fat, unattractuve, unfit blob.

Life has given me 3 wonderful children but shitty health and a frumpy body to grow old with. Yay.

I don't like much food.

I've 3 kids and am a size 6. it's not impossible

Size 12 isn't a 24 pp!

To add to my pp. Hormones play a huge factor alongside age.

I had my eldest at 21. I looked amazing (compared to now, and compared to before I had him) then I had number 2 at 23 again I looked great after (both boys, not sure if that's relevent) then I had number 3. I didn't lookk awful but definitley different (a girl I was 25) then my last at 27, also a girl. Fuck me. I look awful. I get eczema. It's hard to lose weight and I'm exhausted.

I had breast-fed consistently through out pregnancies up until last weaned at 3.5 years (so about 10 years in total) I haven't slept since my eldest was born. I do all the child care and wfh etc. And I think my body finally said duck you lady!

Moral of the story. Slow down. Try and get rest when you can eat well and drink lots of water. I was better at all of this with the first 3. Number 4 none of it applied and it is my downfall! 🤣

It's usually what you are eating. Low cal, low fat and from scratch.

This makes me feel sad. I am much older 68 but well remember those days and how hard they are and yes, it does get easier.

but when I walk down the road and see all the young mums with their lovely babies and toddlers I think how beautiful you alll are. No one else sees your perceived ‘faults’, you have done an amazing thing bringing life into the world. Be proud!

Stop talking.

I can empathise with this and I don't even have children! For me it was reaching middle age (40) so I pay more attention to nutrition and water now.

Somewhat relieved to read these posts because I have been feeling the exact same. Make-up just doesn't sit right now on my skin and I don't like anything I wear. I am pregnant with my second (and last) now and have already decided that after the baby I will start getting some tweakments.

Not if you’re breastfeeding.

I promise it gets better. For me, I always looked dreadful when I was sleep deprived. Now my youngest is 10, I (kind of) look like myself again.

Why?

After having my daughter I felt physically reclusive. Can't put my finger on why

That's awful - why?

@HariusPotter Low fat and low cal is not best for breastfeeding or wrangling babies and toddlers.
Being healthy and feeling well is about eating well. People come in all sizes and can be beautiful and healthy as they are. This is what we need to give ourselves and our children.

I felt like this in my 30s when my kids were small

perked up again in my 40s

feeling on top of the world and “in my prime” in my 50s…

early 30s with small kids is hard. It gets better.

I'm no longer bf. Look a bit weird at their ages.