Previous owners of house keep coming round to "visit"

[sparklerain]

Can someone tell me AIBU?

Some context is that we bought a house October 2023 it's in a small cul de sac off the Main Street there is 6 houses in the cul de sac and we are right at the bottom (or top) with the other houses forming round us (does that make sense)?

The neighbours have mainly spoke bar 1 house who snubs us since we've moved in (we don't know why) since the nice weather has come in they host BBQs every weekend and the previous owners of our house are around every time - they don't host them in their back garden though, they are sat out on the road right infront of our front window and we never get an invite. We've quite often seen the snubby house and previous owners of ours talking and pointing at out front garden etc as we have changed some of it and removed some old bushes. They sit so far out into the cul de sac we couldn't actually reverse off our driveway if we needed to be out.

Is there anything I can do or do I just have to accept it? I don't want to cause anymore of an atmosphere but I do think maybe speaking to one of the neighbours who is more polite about it might help? We feel intimidated in our home as we feel constantly watched by the ex owners. They're out playing music laughing shouting etc and don't seem to have a care in the world. I should also add they've large back gardens too so don't understand why they sit on the tarmac at the front as they've not grass etc out there

We don't have an annoying barking dog or loads of guests round constantly for them to be annoyed at us it's definitely more a case of "you've bought our friends house how dare you" when it was for sale we didn't force them out so we could buy it 🤣

I don’t think it is odd that they are coming back to visit their friends, @sparklerain - though I do understand why you don’t like them being outside your window.

Report them to the council and fire brigade for having open fire bbq on a road, ignore them, it'll be raining again soon,

You need to learn the art of not giving a shit. They've obviously come up with something to feel offended about but if this is the way they go about expressing it then it's slim odds that you being reasonable and talking to them is going to improve things. So work on your own reactions- tell yourself you don't give a fuck about them until it's true. Enjoy an inner laugh when they get rained off, but otherwise go about your life as normal. And enjoy your new house!

Ha yes I do tell myself this 99% of the time but they've really got to me tonight 🤣 we think it's the fact we are Irish and we've broke up their little clique (which wasn't our fault), I think the "trying to be friendly" act I've been doing since October is wearing thin and I'll have to start ignoring them as much as they do to me 🤣

I would find that both annoying and intimidating. I'm not sure there's much you can do officially, but I would be reversing my car out and doing my weekly grocery shop every time it annoyed me. Not your fault if they have to move out of the way.

I did that with neighbours who kept parking over the end of my drive.

I can understand your frustration but I don't think you can do anything.

The previous owners of our house are still on the street WhatsApp group 5 years after moving.

The group is only used to talk about missed bins, tradespeople recommendations etc but it puts me off using it as they will often chime in on discussions. They were difficult people and we had a lot wrong with the house that they didn't declare so I don't particularly want to hear from them!

I did think now would be the perfect opportunity to drop my vinted parcels off 🤣

@sparklerain im sorry they're spoiling your new house for you. It's not nice to be excluded.

you could report the BBQ's to the council, but that won't endear you to you new neighbours.

if the BBQ is on the communal green, why not take a couple of chairs some sausages & a bottle of wine & join in!

im surprised you think it's because you're Irish though.

My husband and I said to each other had they of said when they'd organised it we could've took food over and joined, they've got the bbq just at the end of their drive but everyone is sat round in a circle on the road outside our window.

We had wedding venues as us if we were travellers when we were looking at them so nothing surprises me when it comes to where I'm from and living in England now 🤣

The old owner of our house (not the person that we bought from, the one that they bought from) still walks her dog down our street and stops and stares through the window. We didn’t realise who it was until someone else on the street told us. It’s annoying but not much we can really do. The barbecue would piss me off with or without the previous owners attending, agree just always make a point of having to go out and make them move.

You need to learn the art of not giving a shit.

Agreed!!

The snubby neighbours sound like weirdos anyway for having BBQs in the front garden rather than the back. Why do you care that you haven’t been invited?

Ignore the previous owners if they point at your house. They’re most probably just talking about the changes you’ve made. I often look at my old houses if I pass them, as I like to admire any changes they’ve done.

We feel intimidated in our home as we feel constantly watched by the ex owners.

Dont feel intimidated. You’re allowing yourself to feel this way. Just ignore them and go about your lives.

That would irritate me so much. They are doing it on purpose to bully you...but why?! Some people are so weird.

They will get bored of it or if something happens to one of the 4 then I imagine it will stop.

The previous owner of my house used to come round to inspect the garden without asking. They once brought visitors with them and told me they were going inside to show them around the house. They were most put out when I refused and declared they'd have to look round the garden at least as they'd come so far!

If you think your ethnicity is why you receive the treatment you are getting, the ex owners failed to inform you of a racist neighbour. So they sold you a house by deception.

If they have children at a local school, maybe worth a word with the school in case one of the children makes racist comments so they know where they learnt it from.

Do you not need to put a lawn sprinkler out on your front garden? 😈

I would need to drive off and onto my drive very frequently! Invite people round and get them to park where's they usually congregate.

Just sound of on here op. It's not worth approaching them. They would just get a kick out of it. Just tell yourself what weirdos they are .

Can they actually see into your windows from where they are?

I find it bizarre they are having a bbq in the road randomly rather than in their own back garden

I need a diagram OP

They are visiting their friends, hardly going up to your windows and staring through. YABU.

I would do the same!

Why let it bother you? I'd just walk or drive past with a merry wave every time. Given how lousy the weather has been until now, it can't be happening that often.

I can't think why anyone would have a social gathering outside their house in that manner unless they have pets that are vicious or could be scared so they don't want people coming into their house or garden?

So they’re having g a BBQ that goes out into the road, where cars drive? Instead of their back garden? That’s so weird, what if someone needs to drive down the road? I’d probably just go out for the day when you see them setting up.

The last but two owner of our house was introduced to us at a church event just after we moved in, she'd lived here for 50 years, she gave us old photos showing the development of the house from house and shop to just house. We invited her round because she's never seen the rear extension, it was lovely talking to her. She gave us lots of tittle tattle about the village, even now when we have people in doing jobs they'll be nostalgic about buying their sweets from our dining room!