Previous owners of house keep coming round to "visit"

[sparklerain]

Can someone tell me AIBU?

Some context is that we bought a house October 2023 it's in a small cul de sac off the Main Street there is 6 houses in the cul de sac and we are right at the bottom (or top) with the other houses forming round us (does that make sense)?

The neighbours have mainly spoke bar 1 house who snubs us since we've moved in (we don't know why) since the nice weather has come in they host BBQs every weekend and the previous owners of our house are around every time - they don't host them in their back garden though, they are sat out on the road right infront of our front window and we never get an invite. We've quite often seen the snubby house and previous owners of ours talking and pointing at out front garden etc as we have changed some of it and removed some old bushes. They sit so far out into the cul de sac we couldn't actually reverse off our driveway if we needed to be out.

Is there anything I can do or do I just have to accept it? I don't want to cause anymore of an atmosphere but I do think maybe speaking to one of the neighbours who is more polite about it might help? We feel intimidated in our home as we feel constantly watched by the ex owners. They're out playing music laughing shouting etc and don't seem to have a care in the world. I should also add they've large back gardens too so don't understand why they sit on the tarmac at the front as they've not grass etc out there

We don't have an annoying barking dog or loads of guests round constantly for them to be annoyed at us it's definitely more a case of "you've bought our friends house how dare you" when it was for sale we didn't force them out so we could buy it 🤣

And you must know someone who needs to repair their car in front of your house, the car with the very dodgy, loud and smelly exhaust.

Just do some extra gardening... well sealed bags of chicken poo manure, which of course needs sprinkling out regularly at the border line of snobby neighbour through the summer months!

Ignore them they're a bunch of Cunts. X

Play this...Loudly! at the Hen party...

Time for a friend to do the muck spreading on your roses. Does a friend also need to work on their van? Time for some loud diy. Get them to back away from your place.

This would annoy me to no end.

Really odd they choose to do that out the front when they have a back garden. Do you get more sun out the front than the back? That might be why.

Because of where I live I often have people congregating around the front of my house and if anyone pushes the boundaries, e.g. sitting on the fence, picking my flowers I always make a point of going outside and pottering near them in my garden. Mostly they get the hint and fuck off but I'll happily say something if they don't. In your case I'd give friendly conversation a go and if that didn't work the leaf blower would come out.

It sounds like they don't want everyone going in and out their house to use the toilet etc. So by having it out the front everyone goes to their own house apart from the people that used to live in their house. But that's just part of hosting a barbeque.

I’m Irish and lived in England for 25 years, and a tiny but disappointingly predictable minority everywhere we ever lived was vocally anti-Irish, or more commonly engaged in microaggressions about the IRA, ‘brogues’, potatoes, fecklessness etc everywhere from bus stops to professional workplaces. I was used to it, as was DH, but didn’t want our child to grow up with that, especially when it ramped up around the Brexit referendum, so we left the country.

So while I wish I could tell you you’re imagining it, and your neighbours are just hanging out with their friends, it’s perfectly possible you’re not. It became very clear in our last UK home, a village, that for a certain type of person, Irish people weren’t quite white enough.

Apart from showing them what a weird freak you are, what would this achieve?

They're not going to think "that new neighbour's appalling behaviour has highlighted how unwelcoming we have been and we are ashamed and must be friendly from now on".

Probably wouldn't want to have street parties outside my house where the "weird freak" was inviting themselves. Seriously though chill the fuck out @Isittimeformynapyet 😅 I was only half serious.

I agree with whoever said you need to cultivate the art of not giving a shit. At least this way if they're all out the front you can enjoy your own back garden in relative peace and quiet. Close the curtains, don't look out at them. Otherwise smile and wave and go about your day. I think that cul-de-sacs were designed by the devil personally, in the hope everyone would be looking at their neighbor and passing judgments.

I know how you feel. I used to live in an area where it was standard practice for people to be out in the front yard chatting and (IMO) spying on what other neighbours were doing. It was tiresome. I didn't want to leave the house because it would mean I would have to chat with them. Sometimes you're just not in the mood.

In your case I would decide to go on an errand when they were blocking the driveway, which would necessitate asking them to move. They should get the idea. Maybe they are just stone stupid or maybe they are being passive aggressive. It's hard to say. Repeat this process as many times as it takes for them to get the hint.
As for the partying, unless it's very late at night there's nothing you can do. Turn on some music to tune them out and close your drapes.

One of my neighbors had the noisiest kids I have ever heard, and they were constantly outside, screaming their heads off with nobody ever telling them to shush. It was intolerable. Inconsiderate asshole neighbours are just a fact of life unfortunately.

So all of your neighbours attend this? The location and the fact it's all of your neighbours sounds to me like it's something that came out of covid when the big bonding in Neighbourhoods really set in.

If you find some of the neighbours friendly I would just mention in passing something about it and ask them a bit about it in a positive way... xyz looked great fun do you do it often blah blah smd grt them talking about it....stay super positive snc upbeat about it

You will probably find ypu will get an invite next time

I think I would speak to them, I really would try not to care but I would. It's not nice of them at all. I would say do you have a minute and ask them if you have done something to upset them, if they say no not at all, explain that you find them having gatherings of the neighbours for friendly get togethers in the street outside your house difficult because you are excluded, and it's began to upset you. You don't have to fall out with anybody just a quick chat, you need to be happy where you're living. Be brave

I would develop an urgent need to drive to the shops, multiple times...

I think in your shoes, the next time I got the chance to speak to any of them whilst walking up the road or whatever, I would just drop into the conversation something along the lines of 'I hope you don't mind me asking, but is there some sort of history behind the BBQs in the road, as I've never come across this before, and just wondered if anyone can join in? They'll probably say 'Oh of course you can join in, we should have thought to ask you', or they might say 'Oh, it's a left over from Covid, would you like to join us next time?' If they just say 'Oh, it's something we used to do during Covid, and it's just kind of carried on', but don't go on to invite you to join in next time, then I'd then say 'Oh well next time you have one, would you mind trying to keep the chairs away from my driveway, as I really wanted to go out last time you were out there, but didn't like to disturb you'. That way, you've made a point, and if they then continue to plonk themselves in front of your drive, make a point of needing to go out every single time. At least then you'll know if they're deliberately leaving you out (in which case you'll have to learn to ignore it), or they're just thoughtless and didn't think to invite you.

Me too. I’d be in and out like a sodding yoyo.

The BBQ situation - as long as it is on their drive then there isn’t really anything you can do. If it is on the pavement then it’s a different story.
I don’t get why they couldn’t have this in their back garden though

suspecr it’s because it’s for all the neighbours, so they hold it in the cul de sac.

A couple of big supermarket delivery lorries should do it. Once they've had to move the bbq once or twice, they may give up.

I'd also shut the curtains or blinds. I do this to block out our horrible neighbours.

All of you suggested awful things to do to new neighbours who are understandably wary of a newcomer. That's not a great idea. Kill them with kindness.

My husband won them over because he had tools. He fixed heating issues, remote controls, helped with setting up accounts on the internet. He marched off with his chainsaw cutting back for frailer neighbours, climbed on roofs to prick gull eggs so the gulls stopped terrorising the elderly annually. He lent out his pressure washer to clean driveways. Recommended weed killers, gave tomato plants away. He's even split logs for a wife after her husband had a stroke.

He's mr fixit here. So like I say kill them with kindness, share skills.

Have you any idea why the previous owners sold up? It seems strange to move if they were happy and friends with everyone. Take no notice of them as much as possible. Smile and wave at them. Like pp said it's probably something that started during covid and had continued

They probably don’t want to block their own drives and access.

@justasking111 I'm fairly sure "pricking gulls eggs" is illegal unless you have the appropriate license:
Guidance - gull management | NatureScot