Previous owners of house keep coming round to "visit"

[sparklerain]

Can someone tell me AIBU?

Some context is that we bought a house October 2023 it's in a small cul de sac off the Main Street there is 6 houses in the cul de sac and we are right at the bottom (or top) with the other houses forming round us (does that make sense)?

The neighbours have mainly spoke bar 1 house who snubs us since we've moved in (we don't know why) since the nice weather has come in they host BBQs every weekend and the previous owners of our house are around every time - they don't host them in their back garden though, they are sat out on the road right infront of our front window and we never get an invite. We've quite often seen the snubby house and previous owners of ours talking and pointing at out front garden etc as we have changed some of it and removed some old bushes. They sit so far out into the cul de sac we couldn't actually reverse off our driveway if we needed to be out.

Is there anything I can do or do I just have to accept it? I don't want to cause anymore of an atmosphere but I do think maybe speaking to one of the neighbours who is more polite about it might help? We feel intimidated in our home as we feel constantly watched by the ex owners. They're out playing music laughing shouting etc and don't seem to have a care in the world. I should also add they've large back gardens too so don't understand why they sit on the tarmac at the front as they've not grass etc out there

We don't have an annoying barking dog or loads of guests round constantly for them to be annoyed at us it's definitely more a case of "you've bought our friends house how dare you" when it was for sale we didn't force them out so we could buy it 🤣

Op it is likely they always did this, ie had a bbq round the front. And they clearly are good friends. I understand why you don’t like it, but I strongly suspect it isn’t a new thing, they have always hung out,

why do the neighbours not interact with you, likely it is not about you, some folks are not very welcoming.

on saying thay though, it’s not clear. Who else attends this bbq, is it only you of all the neighbours not invited. Or is it a group of their mates?

I would keep putting tradesmen requests on the group, although it may be a bit late now. "Unfortunately there seems to be a historical issue with our roof, and we've had one very expensive quote, can anyone recommend a roofer..." "Our shower hasn't been working well for several years but has finally given up the ghost, anyone know a good plumber..." etc etc

It's all the neighbours except us. I've tried to draw a diagram as some others are getting confused

White - houses
Pink star - us
Blue - bbq
Green - people

It's not a through road and we are in a village so not a lot of traffic through our housing estate and only people who drive where they are sat are the house residents and their guests

I’d play up to the stereotype op.
Blast out Riverdance and do some Irish dancing on the driveway.

Can I ask something silly, are you sure it’s invite only, like it’s not just open ti everyone? Can you ask a friendly neighbour, something like the bbq looks fun, feel sad we aren’t invited?

i mean surely they don’t all spend every weekend at a bbq together?

Sorry to clarify, could they be offended you don’t come, as it is open to all?

I don't think it's odd that they come back to visit their friends, or that they naturally show an interest in the changes you've made to the house. I'm sure they sit at the front of the house because that's where they've always sat. I honestly can't see what they're doing wrong or why you feel intimidated. If that particular family aren't very friendly with you, despite you doing nothing wrong, then that's probably their natural demeanour.

I'd just go out and join them, act friendly but if they were obnoxious I'd be obnoxious to the point of unbearable (in a loud drunk Aunt at a party kind of way). I'd do it every time they gathered outside.

Looking at that diagram it appears that it would be quite difficult to have a BBQ in front of SN's house without also being in front of yours. Is it possible that they aren't trying to irritate you and are just doing their own thing? It's so easy to imagine that neighbours don't like you, when usually they either don't dislike you at all or are indifferent to you. But worth checking out if the BBQ is open to all as others have said. Don't let it spoil your enjoyment of your home either way.

They sound awful. Reminds me of my colleague who was good friends with her neighbour. Well, supposedly. She moved and the neighbour never spoke to her again. People are strange. Just ignore them and enjoy the nice weather in your back garden. You sound like a kind and considerate person so just carry on being you.

Ah, cul-de-sac life. Wait until you start leaving your curtains closed past 9am, they'll be out there with 'genuine concern'.
Do you have any ballsy friends who might need to pop round?
Open all windows, have an extremely loud conversation on the phone and laugh obnoxiously loudly.
Go out every time they are there.
Pretend that you have lost your cat. Even better if you don't actually have a cat.
Go out and ask them if they know the local council rules about having your own backyard chickens.
Might not endear them to you but at least they might bugger off round the back.

Don't think it's open to all as it was definitely pre organised as they all brought bowls of salad, meat, cakes etc round at around 4pm on a Sunday so we couldn't have quickly nipped to a shop to get some stuff to join. Had they of mentioned they were doing it I'd have definitely gone out and took some food and drink with me too

Since setting up no one has knocked or waved over at us through the window for us to join either so doesn't feel like it's open invitation

Maybe at the next one as there will be another likely I'll go out and just gate crash it whether they like it or not 🤣

I'm sorry OP, that sounds mean of your neighbours and super weird of them too. I've only seen people do these sort of street blocking community events for jubilee's etc, and they're pretty rare.
The only thing I can think is that the old owners REALLY didn't want to sell up but had to for financial reasons (they can't have moved far, like say for work, if they are around every weekend still) and very wrongly are sort of blaming you. People can be weird!
You could complain to the council about them blocking the road or the barbecuing in the street, but I'd be tempted to be cool as a cucumber for a while at least and not react - I'm sure it'll tail off and stop.

I’d take a drink out, walk up to friendliest neighbours and say “I love a street party. You don’t mind if I join you” and join in.

I am hosting my friends hen do garden party in two weeks time - I might have to do it out on the road seems to be the place to gather 🤣

I sympathise. I moved into a village and I've given up explaining to locals where I live. They all refer to it as 'Margaret's house'. Margaret lives in a new house in the village but tells anyone who will listen how much she misses her home (our home). They all feel sorry for her because, you know, we gave her her asking price for a house she wanted to sell...
But i recently discovered that she has annoyed a lot of people over the years and there's another group in the village who really like us because we live in the house and don't cause any drama! I'm sure the same is true for you.

They’re doing what they always used to do by the look of it. But it’s really rude as you now own the house. They seem angry at you for living there and not them. It makes zero sense. However, people can be very territorial.

If it was me and something we always did with neighbours and we had a new family move into a house I'd definitely knock the door and explain that we do it and they're welcome to join but maybe I'm too nice now that I think about it 🤣

Not weird that the old owners visit their friends but I am fucking astonished they are having bbqs on the road. If they had invited the whole cul-de-sac I could get it but in this case it's incredibly rude and entitled.

They're visiting their friends, totally normal. They nor the neighbours need to be mates with you necessarily.
But if they're out the front, physically on your property, that's a bit weird and rude.
But I guess the only thing you can really do is tell them/neighbours to go on their own side, and ask them to keep the noise down if it's after about 8pm.

Why on earth do you want to socialise and be friends with them if they have “snubbed” you?

You are complete strangers to them. Being neighbours and living on the same street doesn’t equal immediate friendship.

The mind boggles.

Just go and drag the bins out the front or mow the grass, something totally fine but annoying for them 😂

Ignorant people. No way would I go over and join in. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction and it’s obvious they have not invited you.

It’s not personal they would do this to anyone buying the house. Absolute weirdo troublemakers.

You can do either one of two things. Ignore them and close your blinds, or soak them with a hose

Time to start dusting naked.

Ooh, set up a new sprinkler system and have it go wrong!

Take up a hobby of noisy carpentry and rock tumbling in your front driveway.