Previous owners of house keep coming round to "visit"

[sparklerain]

Can someone tell me AIBU?

Some context is that we bought a house October 2023 it's in a small cul de sac off the Main Street there is 6 houses in the cul de sac and we are right at the bottom (or top) with the other houses forming round us (does that make sense)?

The neighbours have mainly spoke bar 1 house who snubs us since we've moved in (we don't know why) since the nice weather has come in they host BBQs every weekend and the previous owners of our house are around every time - they don't host them in their back garden though, they are sat out on the road right infront of our front window and we never get an invite. We've quite often seen the snubby house and previous owners of ours talking and pointing at out front garden etc as we have changed some of it and removed some old bushes. They sit so far out into the cul de sac we couldn't actually reverse off our driveway if we needed to be out.

Is there anything I can do or do I just have to accept it? I don't want to cause anymore of an atmosphere but I do think maybe speaking to one of the neighbours who is more polite about it might help? We feel intimidated in our home as we feel constantly watched by the ex owners. They're out playing music laughing shouting etc and don't seem to have a care in the world. I should also add they've large back gardens too so don't understand why they sit on the tarmac at the front as they've not grass etc out there

We don't have an annoying barking dog or loads of guests round constantly for them to be annoyed at us it's definitely more a case of "you've bought our friends house how dare you" when it was for sale we didn't force them out so we could buy it 🤣

Definitely join them! “Hi Neighbours, didn’t know this was on, what fun, anyone fancy a top up? No? Just me? So Mary, you can’t keep away from us, how are settling into your new place?”

Overwhelm them with charm OP. It’s impossible to have a fight with someone who won’t join in.

I think make yourself present during this time. Front garden gardening, take car out etc. Also get some mates over and do the same yourself

Only thing I can think of is if you negotiated hard with the price, they may have resented that and exaggerated it to the neighbours. Friend of mine bought a fairly expensive house, husband did the negotiations and left the moving date up to the sellers.

The sellers took oddments such as curtain rails, light bulbs, bathroom mirrors, hooks and various things that had precious little value but some were awkward to replace.

Is this BBQ out in the road a thing left over from Covid? When out walking during lockdown, we noticed several roads with people sat out at the front of their houses drinking wine and talking to their neighbours who were also sitting at the front of their own houses.
They are just probably not very nice people and yes I would be using the car in and out of the drive the whole time. BTW you reverse into your drive and come out forwards, as per the Highway Code.

If any of the neighbours are approachable they might tell you who is saying you shouldn't be invited. It does sound a bit like racism, if you were black I'd be pretty certain.

Any haggling over the asking price of the house OP? Any legal issues between your solicitors?

Personally I would not want to join them.
Nor would I care about disturbing them by gardening in the front garden during their bbq or driving in and out twenty times.

These do not sound like the type of friends you need in your life.

They turned down our first offer so we offered a second offer of £5k lower than asking and they accepted so nothing went bad in terms of the sale when we sold our old property the people who bought it made 10 offers before we accepted and we kept giving them the price we wanted and they still haggled to death 🤣

Start parking your car on the road where they set up their barbie.
Oh and good suggestion to get a garden sprinkler, situated so it sprays the road as well 😀

We had neighbours at our previous house, who lived on their front drive, their friends arrived, and they put table and chairs out, drinking wine, all evening.
They have a lovely back garden that was landscaped by the previous owners.
They were just odd.
They almost lived on that drive, and you could barely leave our house without having to speak to them, say hello etc.

I can remember mentioning it at work once, and one guy said his cul de sac all did this, mainly as they had no sun in their back gardens
Ignore.

It’s obviously just a habit they have got into and some people have nothing better to do than gossip about other people. ( ignoring the fact that I mentioned our case at work 🤣🤣🤣)

I would just have to take the car out and then come back several times over the course of the afternoon... making them move.

But that would be personally entertaining for me since they are being rude and unkind.

It's shit like this that makes me glad I moved out of a Cul-de-Sac some years ago. It was so cliquey and weird, with everyone in everyone's face. There were 8 houses, and everyone knew everyone's business. Couldn't leave the house without someone stopping you to 'chat' for 20 minutes. And you didn't dare say no to a socialising offer.

I live in a little rural village now, in a through road (but not a main road) with 24 houses in it, and people generally keep themselves to themselves. They say 'hi' and chat for 2-3 minutes, and then move on. And they will help in an emergency. Just how I like it. And this is in a little rural village! The weird, cliquey environment was in a suburb - 2 miles from a large town. Go figure!

They are just weirdos op. Try very hard to ignore. They’re the sort of people that will carry on if they think you’re bothered by it. Enjoy your back garden which is probably peaceful because they’re alll out the front!

Don't do this. Unless they've actually said something, you can't be talking to their kids school on the^ off chance they might.^ You'll look crazy.

Why did they move if they want to keep coming back to socialise with the neighbours? It is rude and they are weird, ignoring is the best course of action OP. They will soon get bored with coming back.We once sold a house.The first viewing was a couple who admitted that their friend used to live in our house. They just wanted to see if it had changed much inside since then😂. In our current house we had someone nearby who whenever we met her would ask us who we were and where we lived. When we told her she would then tell us that her very best friend used to live in our house. This went on for a couple of years.

My old owners for about 6 months came round to collect mail that took them ages to redirect. Rather than just one of the knocking on the door, they both used to come and practically stick their heads through the door and would ask me questions like how I was getting on to prolong them being on the doorstep trying to nose through 🤣

Is it anything to do with the empty house next door do you think. They may believe they are justified in using the space outside your house because the other half of it is empty and therefore fair game so to speak. When the other house is sold Id be having regular events in the road with just you and the new people.

After you diagram that’s properly shit and I would feel just like you. Doing it so you’re excluded and can’t get in and out is properly horrible. It wouldn’t hurt them to invite you. Like you said you didn’t force them out.
I would 100% leave or arrive when you know they are doing it. Or get a tesco delivery or something else.

We do hope the house beside goes on the market soon but that would also mean wishing an old lady dead 🙁 she's in hospice so her house just sits empty but I'm sure if she was still living there she wouldn't be too pleased them being outside. Rude of them to think outside our house is fair game though I understand we don't own the road but it's hard when you look out and it's all you see and hear 😅

I think that you are overthinking this and making it about you when that might not be the case at all

This might not be a new thing. For all you know they are good friends who did every Summer while they lived in your house. They might just be continuing the tradition after they have moved.

Another neighbour should be able to fill you in.

Indeed. When someone complains about racism people try very hard to convince them they're crazy; and perhaps people really believe that, rather than face the truth. Of course the complainers are not always right, but they are often enough.

Even if it is a tradition it’s bad manners to leave the newbies outZ

Op, just in case there is a miscommunication here, just ask one of the neighbours uou get on with. Ask if it’s invite only or a neighbours thing as you’re not sure of protocol. You might find they say they wonder why you never come.

Next time they are there pop out past them breezily, saying 'hi there, have a great day' and keep walking. Park your car across your driveway.

I got to know my neighbours in lockdown and before long we'd be out front having coffees most days and drinks most evenings. We became a tight little group and though we see a lot less of each other now, we still have occasional gettogethers. Several have now moved and whilst we are polite to newcomers, they aren't part of 'the group' so we wouldn't think to invite them out. This is probably something similar and I doubt they are trying to upset or intimidate you. What happens if you go out when they're there?